Chapter 1
Tale of the Nobodies
It is difficult as hell to write a full summary in that small amount of space. So I guess I'll put it here.
"Ya know, I never felt abused. She wasn't the creepy old man they warned you about. She was beautiful and kind...funny and—irresistible ...and charming...and that made her so dangerous." Beca is beginning her freshman year at Barden University. She wants nothing more than to keep her head down as she makes it through these next four years. Unfortunately, her attempts to remain unnoticed fail when she runs into Coach Abernathy and she is forced to remember what she desperately wants to forget. Mitchsen.
So I'm back. I've been working on this story for a while. I think I came up with the idea not long after I finished Songs of Sodom and even now, I still don't think I'm happy with my outline which is a whopping 75 pages. But I know if I decided to wait until I'm happy with the outline to post, I'll never get around to it. Some disclaimers: This story deals with childhood sexual abuse and in certain chapters it will infer and may depict (although it's not explicit) abuse of a minor. This may be triggering for some ,so I say proceed with caution. For the most part, the triggering parts will come in flashbacks and the one's that may be triggering will be marked as such, so you can avoid those. This story is dark, very dark and I'm not going to apologize for that. I'm working through some of my own personal demons and this is the only cathartic outlet I have that I haven't lost interest in. So now that the disclaimers are out of the way (I probably missed some, but I'll add them as I remember them) I'll move on to some things about this story. It took me a long time to figure out what sport I wanted them to play. I wanted it to be volleyball, but I don't know that much about Volleyball to write it well enough. So I chose basketball, I've played it and I can actually write about it and actually know I'm writing about. For this story, I'm adding two inches to everyone's height. Therefore, Beca is 5"4. She's still short in terms of average heights of basketball players but 5"2 was just too short. The shortest NCAA women's basketball player is 5"3 so I had to bring Beca (Anna Kendrick's) height up a bit. One more thing, this will be rated M but the relationship depicted here between Beca and Aubrey, although it's romantic, there won't be any sexual scenes between them. As the story progresses, you'll see why. Each chapter, for the most part will have a song that will basically set the tone for the chapter.
Song: Up Against the Wind by Lori Perry.
Day after Day seems like I push against the clouds
They just keep blocking out the sun
It seems since I was born
I've wakened every blessed morning
Down on my luck and up against the wind
Dear Someone,
I have a secret to tell. I'm nobody who are you? I know—you're somebody. Is this true? Do you know how it feels to melt inside like I do? No matter how envious I am, I would never wish you were nobody too.
Three hundred and forty three days, that's how long she'd been waiting for this day to arrive. How long she's wanted to experience life outside the confines of a hospital. To see the sun in person and not what managed to escape the metal screens in front of the windows. To tie her shoes, to eat when and what she wanted. Watch television all night, and sleep all day. But, most of all she missed the freedom of being sad when she wanted and happy when she wanted without having to "talk about it." It's the little things Beca Mitchell began to appreciate when they were all taken from her.
The ballpoint pen rested between her thumb and index finger, her thoughts swarming her head as she thought of what she could possibly write next, or if she was finished for the day.
If there was one thing she could say being here brought her, it would have to be clarity. Perspective on her life, despite how cliché that sounded.
She never thought that her life would turn out the way it did until she was lying in a hospital, strapped to a bed as doctors forced a tube down her throat to vacuum out pills she didn't even remember taking. It never really crossed her mind that, possibly, she might have wanted to die at her own hands. It wasn't until she woke up that day that she realized it wouldn't bother her either way, life or death.
Beca had never really seen her life taking the path it had. She was just an innocent passenger on a journey that she was involuntarily subjected to. Even today, the day she would get to go home, she was in no way mentally healed but at least being at home gave her the chance to work out what was withering her away at her own pace. There wouldn't be any daily meetings where strangers tried to coerce her into talking. No more private sessions with doctors about why she feels the way she does. Nothing. Just a normal life-well as close as she could get to normalcy.
The floor creaked alerting her to the presence of someone, and her hand quickly closed the moleskin book. She turned, her eyes focusing in on her roommate, Lea, as she ambled in, her time spent as a ballet dancer resulting in a graceful glide of her feet over to where Beca sat.
"They let you use a pen unsupervised?" It was meant as a joke but came out as bitter and angry. Beca knew that Lea hated being in the hospital just as much as she had, but the dancer's stay was much longer.
"Yeah, I guess since I'm leaving, I can be trusted with sharp objects." She stood up and trudged over to where her duffel bag sat in the wardrobe in the corner. Pulling it out of the closet, she carried it over to her bed and used the little remaining space in the side pocket to store her notebook.
She scanned over the room to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, a loud sigh from behind her catching her attention. She turned to face Lea, who sat on her bed on the opposite side of the room.
"Ya know, it's not going to be as fun around here without you."
Beca rolled her eyes, "I doubt I was the life of the party here." She turned back around to look for her wallet that contained everything she'd need to leave including her ID card.
Lea shrugged, her eyes finally coming up to look at Beca, "Well, you made it fun for me."
Beca stopped her search for her wallet and turned around to face the other girl, for the first time seeing how her departure was affecting the other girl. She had shared a room with the fourteen year old since Beca was admitted to the hospital exactly 11 months ago and although Beca never opened up to Lea or revealed anything personal about herself, the two managed to build a steady friendship without any biographical information. Despite the rules forbidding sharing medical history, Beca knew Lea was hospitalized for her anorexia and Lea knew Beca was there for trying to commit suicide. Neither girl inquired further than that and because of the mutual respect of the other's boundaries, they got along well from the start.
Beca looked at the clock on the wall, her hand running through her hair as she made her way over to where Lea sat.
"Hey, don't worry about it. Your day is coming soon."
Lea scoffed, "Yeah right, if you count three months as 'soon,' and that's only if I gain enough weight to be considered 'healthy." She used her fingers to form air quotes as she spit out the word. "Whatever the hell that means."
Beca bit at her bottom lip, not quite sure what to say. Lea had just returned to sleeping in the room two weeks ago after relapsing and refusing to eat after a visit from her mother who insensitively commented that her daughter's face was a lot "fuller" than the last time she saw her.
She pulled the wallet that Beca had been looking for from under her pillow, grinning when the small brunette sighed in relief. "Are you excited to be going back?"
Beca stood up and walked back over to her bag, using the opportunity of her back being turned to think about the dancer's question. Was she excited to be going back? No, not at all. She really didn't want to go to school-not for a degree so that she could work in some stuffy office doing a job she hated. But, she didn't really have much of choice when one parent only gives you one option and the other doesn't care enough to fight.
"Technically, I'm not going back. I never made it to campus. They carted me here in June."
Lea's head tilted to rest on her shoulder, "I know, but aren't you excited that you're going to college? All the parties, and the sororities and fraternities. And-and you can even play basketball again."
Beca glanced over at the younger girl before refocusing her eyes on her bag, "Well, for starters, college isn't at all like they make it seem in the movies." She gritted her teeth as she pulled the zipper in an attempt to close the bag without breaking it. "And two, I'm done with that stupid sport. I shouldn't have played in the first place."
"Well, isn't Mary Elise there?"
Beca nodded, remembering the phone call she shared with the girl a few days back. She, too, had been a patient at the hospital, but for a much shorter stay than lea and Beca. She told them that she liked to check herself in whenever she felt like her emotions were becoming too unstable to handle. She had left last winter and promised Beca that she'd meet up with her on campus.
"Yeah. I got to call her a couple of days ago. She's expecting me."
Beca grabbed her release forms and turned to look at Lea, "Hey, I got something for you."
She grabbed her iPod out of her back pocket and handed it to the younger girl. When Lea realized exactly what she'd been given she immediately moved to return it. "No, I can't take this. It has all of your music on it."
Beca picked up her bag, swinging the adjustable strap of the black satchel over her head and allowing it to come to rest on her shoulder. The mp3 player had been given to Beca when she was twelve by her old coach and although it did have a lot of her favorite music on it, she knew Lea needed it more than she did. She and the younger girl had arrived around the same time and when Lea was up with insomnia, the same as Beca, they'd each take an earplug and listen to her music on shuffle until the morning. It was what had bonded them, what had made being in this place tolerable.
And now, Beca was getting out, Lea was staying behind. She needed the music to hold on for just a while longer.
"I know but I know how much you liked listening to it. I can always get another one."
Lea stared at the portable music player in her hand before looking back at Beca and whispering, "I don't know what I'm going to do now that you're leaving."
"C'mon, it's gonna be alright. You're a survivor. Just make me one promise?"
Shinning eyes stared back at her as a trembling mouth responded, "Yeah?"
"Just please make sure you eat every day. I know the food here sucks but every meal you eat in here gets you closer to enjoying a real one out there. And when you get out of this place I'll be with you for your first meal. A big greasy hamburger."
Lea rolled her eyes but couldn't help the grin spreading across her face.A loud rapping filled the room, and both girls looked up at the nurse who came to notify Beca that her ride was here. Beca nodded her head. She turned to the younger girl, "Walk me to the door?"
Lea nodded her head earnestly, "Definitely." She quickly shoved the iPod under her pillow following Beca out of the room. They walked slowly to the nurses' station, Beca wanting to prolong their time together as much as possible for the younger girl's sake.
They stopped at the nurses' station where Beca had to sign and hand in her release forms. The head nurse, Olivia, smiled at her, her hands typing away at the keyboard in front of her. Beca glanced at Lea out of the corner of her eye, watching her fumble with her hands. Olivia handed Beca a copy of her discharge papers, rolling her eyes at the sight of Beca absentmindedly folding them up and shoving them in her back pocket. The finality of the situation settling above them.
"So, I guess this is where we say goodbye?" Lea whispered.
Beca shoved her hands in her pockets, nodding her, "Yeah."
None of the patients were allowed past the doors by the nurses' station so the two were forced to say their goodbyes there.
"I'm gonna miss you so much, Beca." She whispered. She wanted to reach out and hug the older girl but knew how Beca felt about intimacy of any form and remained planted an arm's length from her.
"Hey, I'm not dying—they made sure of that. I'm just not gonna be in the next bed anymore. I'll still be around and you can call me as soon as I get a phone. I'll write you and give you my number and we can talk about how much Barden is going to suck."
"It's not going to be that bad. You're going to make friends, and you're going to have an awesome time."
Beca rolled her eyes, "Yeah, whatever," before adjusting the strap on her shoulder.
"I gotta go because check in is at like nine but remember what I told you, OK?"
Lea nodded and Beca mirrored her action, reaching out to place a comforting hand on the young teen's shoulder, squeezing lightly. Lea knew this was the closet she'd get to hug and accepted it for all it was worth.
Beca waited for the nurse to buzz open the door so that she could leave, and when the door shut behind her, Lea let a tear fall.
Beca glanced back one final time at the young girl as she turned the corner that led her out of that wing of the hospital. A guard was waiting by the elevator to escort her to the exit and he nodded at her in acknowledgment before motioning her to the waiting elevator car. When they made their way to the exit, she didn't move at first. Instead, she stared at the closed door for a few seconds before the guard reached around her to push open the door. She shoved her hands in her pockets, as she took the first steps into the Georgia air as a free woman. And despite how much she felt the weight that came with that freedom pressing down on her shoulder, she found herself smiling.
Don't you stop, don't you run, don't you cry
You'll do fine, you'll be good, you'll get by
Night after night seems like I rage against the moon
But it don't ever light the dark
I curse the falling rain
But it won't stop for my complaining
Down on my luck and up against the wind
"Ladies, Ladies, Ladies. How are you doing this fine August morning?"
Aubrey looked at Chloe and rolled her eyes before turning her head to look at Bumper and Jesse who stood before them.
"What Bumper?"
"Can't we just ask how our fellow Barden Basketball players are doing? Or did you guys decide to call it quits after blowing the final shot in the playoffs last year?"
Aubrey tried to contain another eye roll as she allowed the snarky remark to roll of her tongue. "Speaking of blowing, Are you final able to blow yourself, or was that yoga class you took for nothing?"
Bumper's face sobered as he nodded, "No it actually worked. I can…I can blow myself."
Jesse looked at him, "No way dude. Seriously?"
Aubrey scoffed as she looked at Jesse, "Why do you even hang out with this pig? You're a decent guy."
Bumper cut in before Jesse could respond, "Because not everyone has a stick up their ass like you do."
Chloe, sensing her best friend was on the verge of exploding, took her hand and led her away from the two basketball players.
Bumper and Jesse turned around and watched them walk away as Bumper yelled out "Good luck this year. You girls are awesome... ly horrible. I hate you. Kill yourselves. Girl power! Sisters before misters!"
Aubrey turned around and stormed over to bumper in rage. "We are going to make it to the finals this year. I don't care what your lot thinks, but this year Barden's Woman's Basketball team will be national champions."
Chloe grabbed a hold of her friend's hand and led her in the direction of their dorm.
Don't you stop, don't you run, don't you cry
You'll do fine, you'll be good, you'll get by
Swimming against the tide and striking the indifferent air
I'm swinging with empty hands
Driving that empty dream
Beca's eyes fluttered open the moment the car stopped moving. She didn't even remember falling asleep, and despite her discomfort of being so vulnerable in was essentially a stranger's car, she did manage to sleep through what she had to assume was hours of waiting in a long line of cars that led to the dorms.
"We're here. Do you need any help with you bags?"
She just shook her head, reaching into her wallet to pull out a bill, handing it to the older man on the opposite side of the partition. She mumbled a thanks before opening the door and stepping out of the car. She quickly made her way around to the trunk, and pulled it open, grabbing her duffel bag out of it.
Flinging the strap over her shoulder, she made her way to the administration building to pick up her keys and student ID, all things her father suggested she do in a very brief phone call she shared with him a few days prior.
Luckily, the lines in the rooms were divided by dorm and the line for private housing, the Barden Housing Units, was empty. She quickly made her way to the table and presented them with her state ID. As she filled out her check-in form, the attention of a rather loud group of people caught her attention. Ok, so maybe it wasn't a large group and they weren't that loud but they took the spots in the line next to them. The annoying sound of one of them bouncing a volleyball rang in her ear.
"C'mon Bree, why can't you come over?" One of the girls complained.
Beca rolled her eyes at the striking resemblance the girl's complaint had to a hormone raged teenage boy. But when she looked over, this wasn't a boy. It was girl, a very athletic girl if the muscles on her calves and arms said anything. Oh and there was the obvious soccer cleats tied to the strap of her book bag. Yeah, that kinda gave away her athletic status. Beca found that she had a striking resemblance to the soccer player Alex Morgan. She hated soccer but Lea loved it and apparently Alex Morgan was her "I'd go gay for" celebrity. The blonde in the annoying soccer players arms, 'Bree,' didn't seem too pleased with who Beca assumed was her girlfriend, and quickly pushed away the taller brunette.
"I'm not spending another night because I need to unpack before class on Monday. This is my senior year and I can't afford to mess up."
The redhead that had been standing patiently next to them spoke up with, "Hey, look. How about you go be with Charlie and I'll help you unpack tomorrow."
'Bree' looked at the redhead with an expression that old said 'why are you taking her side?' before looking back at Charlie and shaking her head, "OK, but you both are helping me unpack tomorrow."
Beca shook her head, turning back to the older woman in front of her as she was handed her apartment key and student ID. Beca made a mental note to avoid that group of people during her entire matriculation at the school. Adjusting the bag on her shoulder, she turned around and by some stroke of bad luck, was face to face with the girl who she'd heard the redhead refer to as Charlie.
Her eyes narrowed in on the shorter girl. "I haven't seen you here before. Are you a transfer?"
Beca rolled her eyes and turned to walk past the group but was stopped by a strong hand pushing against her chest and forcing her to take a few steps back.
"Hey, I'm talking to you."
"I know and I'm ignoring you." She said with a mocking grin. The redhead behind her chuckled and Beca once again moved to walk away but was stopped yet again. Charlie quickly reached down and snatched the ID card out of Beca's hand,
"Ha! You're a freshman. How wonderful."
"Leave her alone, Charlie." The girl with the curly red hair said, snatching the ID card from the taller woman. She handed it back to Beca who in turned raised an eye brow at her. She look so familiar but she couldn't for the life of her place where she'd known her from.
"Stay out of it Chloe."
So her name was Chloe. Good to know.
Charlie pushed her again and Beca sighed, trying her hardest to contain her anger. The last thing she needed was to be carted back to Mercy because of some asshole who was trying to show off for her girlfriend, who didn't look quite impressed by the entire encounter.
"Yes, I'm a freshman. So glad you can read. Now if we're done here, I'm gonna go."
Charlie didn't say anything and when Beca took a step forward, Charlie stepped in front of her. She bounced the volleyball was in her right hand, dribbling it arrogantly. Beca knew she wasn't a basketball player and had to stop herself from laughing at how easily she could embarrass the taller girl if she wanted to.
"You can go, but you have to get by me." Charlie looked over at her girlfriend with a smirk and winked at her before turning back to look at Beca. Beca rolled her eyes knowing she wasn't going to get past Charlie without a fight so, she dropped her bag, kicking it a few inches to the side before shoving her ID card and keys into her pocket. Charlie smirked at her, "So the Frosh wants to play. Show me what you got."
"Charlie, grow up."
"No, Aubrey. This freshman thinks she can disrespect me." She looked at Beca intensely before continuing, "Well I'll show you how disrespectful I can be."
Beca sighed, watching as Charlie dribbled the ball, crossing over from her left to right hand. Beca took a few seconds to assess that she was left handed and had a very week grip in her right. When the ball crossed to her right hand, she watched the taller brunette dribble it weakly for a few seconds and in the split second it took for Charlie to push the ball to her left hand, Beca stole the ball.
Glancing up, she looked over the other two women as they watched, amused as Charlie angrily got into a defensive stand, refusing to let Beca humiliate her. Beca got used to dribbling the volleyball. Although it bounced like a basketball, it was much smaller and felt foreign in her hands.
Charlie was playing her way to close, so she waited, baiting the taller girl and when she saw that arrogant grin on Charlie's face reappear as if she knew which way Beca was going to go, Beca quickly crossed over before spinning and dribbling past Charlie, picking her bag up in the process.
When the three upperclassmen turned to look at her, she tossed the ball to Chloe with a wink before looking at Charlie, "I guess this freshman showed you how disrespectful she can be."
As she walked away she could hear Chloe telling Charlie "That's why you should stick to soccer—what you're good at."
Chuckling to herself, she adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder.
"Hey wait!"
She turned around and saw the redhead, Chloe, was quickly making her way to her.
"You were really good back there." Chloe reached out to grab hold of Beca's hand which the brunette inadvertently snatched away and shoved into the pocket of her sweater. If the motion bothered Chloe, she didn't mention it.
"So, Aubrey—the blonde over there—she and I are co-captains of the basketball team and we think you should try out."
Beca looked past Chloe to where Aubrey and Charlie were eying the two menacingly before looking back into the blue eyes in front of her. The girl in front of her was attractive, she'd give her that, and the red hair only added to it. Yet, she wasn't going to go there-she refused to go there. With a coy smirk, she leaned in closer to the redhead and said, "I don't think your friend over there agrees with you."
Chloe bit her lip, sneaking a glance over her shoulder before looking back at Beca. "Don't mind her. She's just really nervous for the season. So, what do you say? Will you tryout?"
Beca sighed, her hand coming up to graze through her hair before retaking it's place in her pocket. "Sorry, I don't even play basketball."
For a moment, the look Chloe gave her made her reconsider but she knew she had to remain firm in her decision. She wanted to stay as far as possible from a basketball court. With a quick goodbye, she turned and walked away. She stepped outside the administration building, chuckling lightly to herself. She still had it. Nearly a year without having ever touched a basketball and she still could execute her spin as if a day hadn't passed.
"Still haven't grown an inch?"
Beca grinned and turned around to face the girl standing on the sidewalk. Mary Elise walked closer to her and reached out to hug Beca, grinning widely at transformation of Beca's smile to a frown. It had always been a running joke between the two, Mary Elise would try and hug Beca while the shorter brunette would duck out of her grasp.
"I had no idea what time you're be here so I thought I come check here around nine. Do you have any more bags?"
"Nope, just this one." Beca reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone to show the older teen the address of where she'd be staying on campus. Mary Elise nodded, and the two began to make their way to the North side of campus.
"So, what did they send you home with?"
"A prescription for Zoloft and Vistaril for my insomnia. Oh and I have to check back with them in a month to make sure I'm 'adjusting' which is their way of saying that they want to make sure I'm staying sober."
"Man I hated Zoloft. The nausea was a bitch to deal with and your sex drive is shot. Plus orgasms are nonexistent." They turned onto the street where private housing was kept. Mary Elise, chuckled at the quiet calm blanketing the row of houses. "So I guess parties are out of the question for you?"
Beca rolled her eyes and scoffed, "The last thing I want is to be around a bunch of dumb fucks who can't hold their liquor. Besides, I like to get drunk in peace while watching netflix."
Mary Elise chuckled, "Well I guess you haven't changed." The two continued to walk in silence before Mary Elise looked over at Beca who was intently studying the ground as she walked. Pushing her glasses back from the edge of her nose she asked, "Are you glad you're out?"
Beca looked over at her for a moment before looking away to stare out in front of them. Mary Elise wasn't like Lea. She didn't know when to stop asking questions, or better yet, which questions not to ask. With a sigh she nodded her head, "Yeah, I guess. I mean, I liked the girls in the hospital and the staff was cool but I can only be asked, 'are you considering suicide' so many times before I want to hurt someone."
"Well are you?"
"Am I what?"
"Are you still thinking about it?"
"There's no answer to that."
Mary Elise stopped walking, quickly stepping in front of Beca to stop her from walking away. "It's a yes or no question Beca."
"No OK? I'm not thinking about it, currently." she exhaled sharply, her hand running through her hair as she tried to calm down. Leave it to Mary Elise to get her so riled up so suddenly. After a few seconds of clenching and unclenching her fists as she calmed down, she looked up at Mary Elise, "Sorry...I'm not thinking about it, but the reason I did it in the first place is still there. It didn't just disappear."
Mary Elise stepped out of her way and Beca was grateful that she let the conversation drop as they continued to walk in silence the remainder of the way to Beca's apartment. Beca fished the keys out of the side pocket of her duffel bag, walking up the stairs of her apartment, Mary Elise trailing behind. When she finally managed to get the door open, Mary Elise stepped inside from behind the small brunette and took in the quaint space.
"Wow...your father must really love you."
Beca dropped her bag by the door with a scoff, "He thinks he can throw a bunch of money and an expensive apartment at me to make up for the years of my life he was absent. Well he can take his attempts to buy my love and shove it."
Mary Elise looked at her friend-Beca's blue eyes scanning the apartment in scorn and contempt-and in her attempt to change the subject she said, "Well, the university is finally forking over the funds to build a new fine arts building. That means larger art rooms, more supplies."
"That's great. I—I I haven't really painted since—you know. I—I didn't want them getting inside my head and you know how I tend to put every thought in my head onto the canvas."
Mary Elise nodded in understanding, "I completely get it. Well hey, if you don't like the openness of the art rooms, a few of us like to head down to the basement and paint. No one ever goes down there and we can leave our work there to dry."
Beca nodded, "Yeah that'd be...I'd really like that."
Mary Elise went to return the smile Beca offered her but stopped suddenly at the deep frown plaguing Beca's face suddenly. However, before she could ask what was wrong Beca was speaking to someone behind her.
"What are you doing here?"
Mary Elise turned around to see Warren Mitchell standing awkwardly in the doorway.
"Hello Dr. Mitchell." she said, trying to ease the tension thick in the air. The older man returned the greeting before silence fell over the room again and Mary Elise took this as her sign to leave the two alone. Ignoring Beca's protests to stay, she walked to the door motioning to Beca that she would call her later.
The door slammed shut, leaving the two alone. Warren, not wanting to give Beca the opportunity to walk away and lock herself in her room until her left, pulled out a piece of paper from the inside pocket of his suit jacket.
Looking at the paper in his hand, he hesitated in handing it to his daughter. "You know, you didn't have to take a taxi here. I'd already taken the day off to come and pick you up."
Beca rolled her eyes, "Wow, an entire day! What did I do to get so lucky?"
"No need for the sarcasm."
Beca rolled her eyes and walked past her father to pick up her duffel bag, dragging it to the couch.
"It wasn't necessary. I never needed anything from you before so why start now?"
Warren frowned, his hand coming up to scratch at the back of his neck nervously. "I—I just thought you wanted to start over. You—you called me in May and practically begged me to let you live with me. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea that you want to start new with me, Sheila and Daniel but now you're doing a complete 360."
Beca dropped the clothes in her hands onto the couch with an irritated sigh." "I wasn't running to you. I was running from New York, dad."
"I—I don't understand. What were you running—?"
Beca ran her hand through her hair, finally turning to look at her father. "Look. I don't want to talk about this. If I did, I would have added you to my visitors list back at Mercy."
Warren, taken aback, sighed and placed the folded piece of paper in his hand on the arm of the couch. "I'm going to go."
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."
Warren shook his head regretfully and headed towards the door. He reached for the door knob, pulling the door open before turning back to his daughter who continued to stare angrily at the floor with her arms crossed in contempt. "Beca, for what it's worth, I'm glad that you're ok now." He waited for his daughter to respond, and when she walked into the back room instead, he sighed sadly and closed the door behind him.
Beca waited until she was sure her father had left before going back into the living room to finish unpacking her things. She spotted the folded piece of paper on the arm of the couch and opened it. It was her schedule for the semester. With a sigh, she threw the paper behind her and returned to her bag.
A few hours later after having finally packed away all of her clothes, she reached into the duffel bag where she'd stored several tubes of oil paint. She didn't have a canvas but with a few sheets of printing paper and scotch tape she managed to construct a 22x30 canvas sheet that she taped to her wall since she also lacked an easel.
She immediately got to work, painting the first thing that came into her mind. It didn't take long for her to construct something and when she realized what it was she dipped her brush into the blank paint and painted a huge X over it before balling up the paper. Why did everything she paint end up looking like her?
It was moments like this that made her want a drink. Unfortunately, she knew with her pending urinalysis in the coming week, she couldn't have anything alcoholic. With a sigh, she threw the makeshift canvas into the trash and grabbed her apartment keys, shoving them into her sweater pocket before heading out the door, not bothering to lock it. She decided to look around campus so that she wouldn't be completely lost on the first day of classes. She absolutely hated walking into an unknown situation without a least of bit of information about it beforehand. Knowing where the buildings her classes were going to be held in were located, took out a bit of the uncertainty that came with starting at a new school.
Somehow, she found her way to the gym, and to her excitement, there was a discarded ball lying in the bleachers. Figuring it probably landed over there and was forgotten about, she picked up the Wilson and began shooting around. The only way besides painting that she found quickly released any tension building within her. She shot basket after basket, worked on her spin against imaginary opponents, and pretended to get fouled as she went for layups. Just knowing the skills she possessed in high school that laid dormant until now still existed made her smile despite how scornful she was towards the sport.
"It's fourth and Roosevelt's down by two. Beca Mitchell brings the ball down court." she provided fake commentary and she dribbled the ball, managing not to slip in her slippery converse on the freshly waxed floors.
Stopping at the top of the key, she faked left before crossing over behind her back and stepping right, immediately pulling up for the three pointer. She watched the ball travel through the air, welcoming the familiar swish as it traveled through the net.
"She's done it again ladies and gentlemen. Beca Mitchell has won it all for the third year in a row." She cheered, her hands swinging wildly above her head as she did a victory dance in the empty gym...or so she thought.
"Can you do that again?"
Beca' hands dropped immediately as she quickly spun on her heels to face the source of the voice. A woman, maybe around her mother's age stood in the door of the gym, a clipboard in hand as she pointed to the hoop.
"Can I—can I do what again?"
The mystery woman gestured to the basket. "Can you make that shot again?"
Beca looked from where the basketball lay discarded on the floor back to the mysterious woman who'd walked further into the gym as she asked her question. "And who are you?"
The woman chuckled and walked over to Beca, extending her hand.
"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I'm Coach Abernathy-McKadden. Apparently college students can't comprehend more than one name at a time so most of my girls call me Coach Abernathy or Coach McKadden."
"Coach? Coach for what?"
Coach Abernathy pointed at the stitched emblem on her shirt, "I coach the woman's basketball team. So, back to my question. Can you make that shot again?"
Beca studied the woman in front of her. Of course she could make the shot again, but she wasn't going to. The last thing she need was Coach McKadden whatever, thinking she could play basketball. She did not want to play that stupid sport ever again and this woman wasn't going to make her.
"No. I just got lucky I guess."
Coach Abernathy picked up the ball and held it out in front of Beca, "Ok. Well, have a go at it again just in case."
Beca stared at the ball nervously, before reaching out to take the ball. She looked at the hoop and back at Coach Abernathy before getting in position to shoot. How could she possibly miss a shot she spent so many years perfecting? She raised the ball in front of her and bent her knees. She let the ball roll off her fingers as she shot, but this time, she extended her elbow out to her side just as she let the ball go.
Both women watched the ball hit the side of the rim before bouncing off and flying to the side of the gym. Secretly exhaling in relief, Beca turned back to Coach Abernathy and smirked. "See, a lucky shot."
Coach Abernathy looked at Beca and shook her head, "Now, Miss-"
"Beca, uh, just call me Beca."
"Now Beca, I've coached basketball for many years at various levels so I know what a good form is. It's what I stress to the elementary leagues I coach over the summer. I watched you set up to shoot, and your body naturally transitioned into the correct form to shoot, that is, until you poked your arm out right before you released the ball. Like you were trying to miss." She stared at Beca seriously, Beca failing miserable to hide the 'busted' look on her face.
"So, let's be real here Beca. How long have you been playing?"
Beca shook her head, "it doesn't matter. I'm never playing again." she reached down to pick up her sweater that she'd dropped at the half court line.
"I think you should reconsider Beca. My team has been ranked top ten for the past three years. Conference champions for the past five."
Beca internally rolled her eyes. Trophies stopped impressing her a long time ago. "Is that supposed to impress me?"
Coach Abernathy looked taken aback as she cleared her throat. "I'm just saying, I think you'd be an asset to my team."
"You saw me shoot once. You have no idea how valuable I am?"
"Oh but I do Beca Mitchell."
Beca couldn't keep the surprise off her face as she listened to the older woman continue to speak.
"MVP for team east in the McDonalds All American match her sophomore year. State tournament MVP three years in a row for the four time NY champions, and two time national champions Roosevelt High school. So, Beca, I do know you and I also know you publicly rejected offers from UCONN and NYU."
"So if you know all of this, then you know that I quit basketball after high school."
"Look, Beca. It's obvious how talented you-"
Beca held up her hand, "Just save this whole speech you've prepared. I'm not playing anyway. It's as simple as that." And she walked away, ignoring Coach Abernathy's calls that tryouts were the following week.
Day after Day I fend myself against heat
But it don't ever cool the breeze
Don't you stop, don't you run, don't you cry
Beca stared at the glass bottle in her hand for several minutes, just watching its contents swish around inside the bottle as she turned it upside down and back upright again. She knew this would set her back so far in her recovery and completely flush away all of the hard work she'd done thus far to get sober, but she needed a drink. It was the only thing that helped with the memories and unfortunately, when she finally managed to get the haunted pictures out her mind, she'd finished off the bottle. Pulling the hood on her sweater over her head, she crawled onto her couch, drawing her knees to her chest as the alcohol coursing through her blood stream lulled her to sleep.
There are some original characters in this story and I have a "cast" for them. If you want me to list the actors in the next chapter let me know.