Disclaimer: Not for profit. No copyright infringement intended..derp a derp
Summary: a small collection of poems i wrote from Xena or Gabrielle's point of view. Subjects vary. I don't really know why I wrote them, but here they are.
An Absence of You
You invaded my dreams last night,
and i bade you to stay.
I begged and I pleaded,
but you still turned away.
I tried to keep from waking,
stay asleep, not just faking.
Every morning, when the dew came,
eyes opened to much of the same.
An absence of you.
I replay the scenes repeatedly,
seeing things that should be.
Tally marks in the folds of my mind,
where I went wrong, where I was blind.
I should have seen the guilt you carried,
for your mind and soul, to it was married.
I should have taken up your cause,
ignored your request without pause.
But here I am, from whence I came,
For what I didn't do, I am to blame.
An absence of you.
Your urn in my hand, burns my palms,
I wonder why I didn't put up qualms.
Should've argued about the fate of those souls,
ignore the hiss of your flesh over those coals.
Your death they demanded, not for you to remain,
but now I see that you succumbed to the pain.
The failures of your past still haunt you to this day,
You couldn't be happy or you would've wanted to stay.
I did the right thing for you, but it wasn't for me.
Isn't that how it always seems to turn out to be?
An absence of you.
Certain we'll meet again, in an instant we'll click,
Time after time, our hearts and souls will pick.
Realize the next lifetime I should look forward to,
plan all of the things I wanted to do with you.
without your guilt and cross to bear,
and me not feeling worse for wear.
Our pasts tucked behind a curtain of time,
without bounds, the heights we could climb.
I grasp for that dream and stubbornly will it true,
pretend for now, that there is not; An absence of you.
Many Happy Returns To You (from Xena to Gabrielle)
I'll trade you a day of mushy love,
I'll fill it with pranks, cuts above.
The regular rigmarole of those who age,
with the exciting fear of acts so sage.
Sometimes I'll fill your boots with rocks,
or push you off the nearest docks.
Perhaps sometimes, I'll paint your lips black,
or make you wear a potato sack.
All these things mean you're special to me,
because if it wasn't you, I am sure they'd flee.
When I mention the eel up against your legs,
or surprise you with things less than dregs.
At the end of the day, I'll make it up,
we shall wine and dine, and dessert sup.
Then in the quiet after everything I cram,
I give you the most I have, all that I am.
Safe
Hold fast to me love, for there are those that will pull,
grabbing and twisting till we are no longer whole.
I'll shield you from them, no matter the cost,
you will always be worth whatever is lost.
Come closer, I will block and repel the waves of guilt,
I'll guide and console you in the prison that you built.
I'll lift you out of the anger you have in yourself,
that cripples your happiness and hazards your health.
I'll offer you a safe house where ever you go.
No matter where you are, there will I go,
Someone by your side, in your pain and glee.
I will do anything that you would ask of me.
Live
In silence of darkness when the sun goes to retire,
a golden-haired hero sits huddled by mirthless fire.
Errant tears tumble from her seemingly dry eyes,
escaping alongside unbidden heavyhearted sighs.
She remembers the journey of growth, love, and learning,
had ended in unexpected tragedy, anger, and yearning.
She searches for any reason to fight and remain,
despite looking upon life with such plain disdain.
Grasping tightly to fleeting, bittersweet memories,
they soothe her through moments of waking verities.
Pleasure and hope seem to always escape her being,
broken and destitute, before the altar she is kneeling.
Begging for strength and courage to continue on,
despite the pain of; the still bleeding, severed bond.
It calls out to her often; now and again,
like a twisting knife or a lingering ken.
Wishing, and struggling to honor her love's memory,
by continuing their quest of rewardless chivalry.
Her grasp on that need is never secure,
her mind takes pathways of thoughts so impure.
They are breaking her down all the more,
knocking on the precipice of the devil's door.
But something always stops her when the moment is nigh,
something about her own actions don't feel right.
It is faint, it is scarce, enough to make her pause,
and wonder for a moment, if her love is her only loss.
Then she sees it again and can no longer deny,
the presence of something, for her attention it will vie.
Pained sky eyes look back at her, from behind her own closed lids,
Begging her to take this opportunity to fight and to live.
Love's voice begs her to let the beauty of life grip her,
reminding her that they'll always be together later.
She wants her to take the opportunity to do all she can,
experience life, write scrolls, or travel the land.
Emphasizing that she is with her through joy, and through pain,
hoping it will lighten her heart through this unending rain.
The spirit is happy, and clear of the wrongs of her past,
her only regret is that their distance is vast.
The eyes plead, "Don't follow me of your own accord, my love",
"Death is easy and lurking, not needing a shove."
"My destiny is your destiny now, it is your own fate."
"The world is in need of you; your purpose is great."
The beauty opens her heart, lets her soul mate's words sink in.
The mimicked words, her own words, invoke memories of when,
Her own love had taken that reminder from her own heart,
and fought her way back, despite not fighting at the start.
clenching her jaw in distaste of the truth that is now clear,
places been reversed, she'd wish her love to not shed a tear.
Steeling herself for living, letting anger and anguish fade away,
instantly finding her time shorter, as living hastens the day.
She repeats to herself that she had been loved and loved in return,
the length of time that was given is not of concern.
Slowly; life simplicities pierce her gray numb outlook,
hope, love, and wealth of life; the things for granted she took.
Those and little things are now a salve to her once open wound.
She is relieved to find that she looks forward to the moon.
Spiderweb
Hand-spun gold lines of spider web,
tangle my heart, it just won't ebb.
Imprisoned by that lush verdant maze,
that pierces my soul with just one gaze.
Voice of sweet honey lilting me to sleep,
chasing away the guilt in which I steep.
The black of my heart, fading with time,
you engulf me, my heart no longer mine.
It is yours.
Friend In Need
I hunger. I need. It is upon you who I feed.
I tear. I cry. It is you who makes me die.
You haunt. You leave. It is you, who without, I grieve.
She hurt you. She deceived you. And ultimately did leave you.
I am not the same. It is her that you should blame.
It makes no sense. Why do you suffer her maleficence?
Sunset
The smile betrays the pain in her heart,
but she paints it on like mindless art.
Accepting the happiness it brings her love,
she grits her teeth and accepts the glove,
that fits around her like a tightly fit mask,
while her insides burn of despair in the task.
She settles the cover onto the urn,
bids goodbye for now and waits for her turn,
for nothing shall soothe her restless ache.
Til their souls are united, the smile is fake.
Her All
Her hands, once spotless from lifeblood.
Stained by aiding her one true love.
She gladly sacrificed everything,
to be by her side unerring.
Rebirth
Your eyes glisten of sparkling waters,
they trickle slowly into the dark me that falters.
Lifting me lightly with the mirth of your style,
It reaches my mouth, eliciting a smile.
My spirit soars faster, extending all around,
contrary to life, that holds me earthbound.
What you give me is more than what you could see,
like rays of sunlight, warmth that tickle the trees.
You are providing a sustenance that I can't be without,
In your eyes, what you see in me, I have no doubt.
I can do anything, more than I thought possible,
I am a mound of clay soft and malleable.
Through your touch I will transform,
through your love I am reborn.
In the End (Xena's pov in IOM)
The damned vision of a snowy mountainside,
materializing before us; fate has not lied.
They raise us roughly, to meet our end,
my eyes well up, my heart is rend.
I pronounce my love and my heartfelt regret,
much too late to convince you, your mind is set.
You turn to me slowly and force a smile,
the pain overtaking you all the while.
I am paralyzed, but yet, still I go numb,
my thoughts start to blacken, as I succumb.
Tiny electric tingles prickle at my skin,
weightless and airy, outside and within.
A calm I've never felt, my shoulders feel clear,
Floating toward you, I pull your face near.
not wanting to leave you, my soul coaxes yours,
from your lifeless corpse, your soul soon pours.
Fearing the unknown my thoughts begin to scatter.
you take my hand, and I realize; it doesn't matter.
Push
My face grows hot, my eyes grow tired,
heavily tangled in this mess we have mired.
We dance around these feelings of ours,
until the idea is mangled, it easily sours.
You pull back, but I drag even harder,
to bring you with me a little bit farther.
my heart racing to your shallow breaths,
plummeting fast into irreversible depths.
An inch is made,
your fears invade.
I coax your surrender,
in a caress so tender.
You shiver at the contact,
I continue my attack.
Your resistance is waning,
your denial is slack.
Your eyes close in a subconscious acceptance.
I've won and there is no turning back.
Release is relief; if you want to let go.
Heavy heart, it burns to the core
holding back, yet wanting more.
Empty hands, nothing to show,
limits reached, no room to grow.
Hidden secrets on both sides,
to folds of the mind, one confides.
Reverting slowly into that shell,
building up walls of personal hell.
Loosing the knots of the bind,
saying nothing would be kind.
Clutch the blade an hold it tight,
cut right through avoid a fight.
A quick sever, a sharp fast pain.
It blunts the loss, but tends to maim.
So very common, accustomed to it,
loves; they all leave, in an unsaid writ.
Always; it cuts as deeply as the very first time,
whilst it bleeds, acceptance is a struggle to mime.
Acting as though what was had was always enough.
but hoping someday they will call the bluff.
Let you go...
Hummingbird wing flutters confined in a cage,
the feeling of my heart as I watch you fade.
Your tears form a heavy stone in the depths of my gut,
sunlight penetrates my eyelids although they are shut.
Lightly and slowly it vanishes, consumed by the dark,
the loneliness I feel instantly is immediate and stark.
I clutch the cold steel of your chakram left in my hands,
in the distance I see your eyes in the sunset's bands,
color swatches of red and purple, above me in the sky,
drown out my sadness in the impromptu goodbye.
Beyond me, where I must not follow, I try to take pride,
in the sacrifice you've made, the redemption inside.
You'll love me forever, i hear it whispered to the wind.
I clutch your urn close to me, it is too late to rescind.
So I let you go. I'll let you go, but I will find you again.
Reluctant Love (season 1 Xena)
I cannot love, I always said to myself,
I could never deserve such a fine wealth.
My acts, I know, should never be forgiven,
I know this for a fact, It yells from within.
You still came into my life despite, even insisting,
wanting to come into my danger, with me resisting.
Twisted my weakness to supply your need,
but with our symbiosis, it is I who did feed.
I keep you at a distance, to stay numb,
so you won't be hurt when I succumb,
to the constant reminder of guilt that rends.
My need for redemption never bends.
For now, my friend, I'm thankful you stay,
but know someday, guilt shall take me away.
Take My Hand (Gabrielle's answer to Xena's above)
Reach out to me, I am here for you dear,
Ignore the darkness in yourself that you fear.
Silence it with the love in my eyes,
they always reflect the depth of my sighs.
You won't let me in as far as I'd go,
are you deathly afraid of love's undertow?
I'll gladly go with you, drown in it's pull,
as long as I'm with you, I'd submit to the cull.
Together we can drown in our shared fate.
For I know it is you that is my soul mate.
Where you belong
Fingertips graze across empty furs,
my dreams become distant blurs,
I reach out for you, to feel you close,
but find reality a bitter dose.
Your furs still have traces of you,
stray strands of black, and smell, a clue.
I roll over to greedily take it in,
before it fades with the winter wind.
I smile because it's like you are with me,
I'm breathing you in, where you should be.
Her
I hunger. I need. It is upon you who I feed.
I tear. I cry. It is you who makes me die.
You haunt. You leave. It is you, who without, I grieve.
She hurt you. She deceived you. And ultimately did leave you.
I am not the same. It is her that you should blame.
It makes no sense. Why do I suffer for her maleficence?
**Author's note: I apologize to any poets out there that I caused disgust in with my rhyming schemes XD**