Erm… Hi? :'D I suck at writing in general, so, yeah. Read if you dare~ c: Anyways, I'm very awkwardly social when it comes to new things, and if it isn't obvious, this is my first FanFiction. Yay for newbies. ouo;;

Anyways, this story starts out as a plot in High School, and it eventually goes onto everyone dying, and like… Coming back in the afterlife as Espada and whatnot. Based off a rp with my friend. C:

Summary: I suck at summaries, too, just fyi. …And I really don't know if there's a reasonable summary for this story. OTL Too many plots to describe it.. Well, it contains kink, fluff, angst, crossdressing, sexy ukes, and pretty much anything you could think of. ;D Enjoy~ OHYEAH. And Ulqui is quite… OOC… But it's so worth it, 'cause God is he sexy~ =u=

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Bleach, or else Ulqui would be… Quite the show. |D

Name: Ulquiorra Schiffer

Hair Color: Black (Dark Brunette?)

Eye Color: Green

Personality: Mainly stoic… But easily annoyed, flustered, and just plain pissed off. Can be extremely adorable. Very oblivious… Defiant when necessary, feisty, if you will

Sexuality: Homosexual

Interests: Sweet food, gothic things, Grimmjow, cute things… Etc.

Job: Working for a maid's service, and at night… Well, you'll find out. ;D

Religion: Atheist

Age: 15

Easier Said Than Done

Chapter One

Now this was one thing Ulquiorra never thought he'd have to do. Apologize for cleaning. Yes, you heard right. Cleaning, for fuck's sake! …Apparently, the owner of this household didn't want this certain room cleaned. At all. And now, he was getting bitched at by a certain blue-haired brute. Yes, blue. Teal, to be precise. Why someone would want to keep such obnoxious hair was beyond his comprehension. He doubted it was even as natural as he claimed it was…

"Oi! Short-stuff!" His thoughts were abruptly cut off by a harsh snap, and a shove to his right, causing for him to stumble on his feet, and rip his emerald eyes from the ground to meet fuming azure eyes to show him that he was still paying attention to his ranting.

"I told you specifically not to go into that room, ya brat!" Yes, he was only fifteen, but there was no reason to call him a brat. However, his employer found no logic in this, seeing that he was often called a brat.

"I apologize, Grimmjow-sama… But in my defense, you never said which room which you were referring to." The utter idea of addressing such trash like this man in such a superior way repulsed him to no end, but he'd have to bear it until his shift was over.

But the look on the man's face was well worth it, especially when he attempted to hide his astonishment with a scowl. "…Whatever, brat. Just take yer money, and go." And with that, he shoved at least a few good ten dollar bills at him, before turning his back, not even checking to see if he was gone first, before he had disappeared down the hallway.

Ulquiorra didn't need to be told twice. He quickly folded the money into his pocket, and calmly walked out, placing his hands absentmindedly into his pockets as he went. At least the blue-haired idiot didn't order him to dress into lingerie to clean like some of his other clients.

Yes, lingerie… If the employer wished for such a thing, he had no choice but to oblige. Well, he could refuse, but then he'd be without a job. So yeah, he had to bear crossdressing every now and then.

Fortunately, that blue-haired Neanderthal was his last stop of the day. But he was just recently added to his list, so who knows, he could suddenly be transferred to someone else. Oh, if only things were that easy…

However, now that night was quickly descending, he'd have to go home. There was nothing more that he hated than that apartment. No, he didn't live alone. He lived there with his eighteen year old brother, Keitaro, and their dad. He was seriously hoping that his father wasn't home, and that he could just go to bed tonight. Oh yeah, had he forgot to mention..? His father was rather… Forceful. He didn't want to label him quite yet as abusive. He didn't want for him, or his brother, to seem like hopeless cases in some sob story, who couldn't defend themselves… Even if that wasn't all too shy from the truth. They could fight back, hell, they did fight. It was just… There dad was stronger…

Every day, he and Keitaro had school, then, after school, Keitaro would drive him to work, and then all he had to do was wait for him to finish his own job, and then he would come to pick him up, and drive him home. And if their dad was home, he would "greet" each of his "beautiful sons" with a kiss. No, it wasn't normal. And if they tried to fight it, it would only result in a hit or two. Maybe more. Their father was crazy, for a lack of a better word. Their mother was gone. And in his father's eyes. It was all Ulquiorra's fault. She had died giving birth to him, and so, he was a cursed spawn of a child that didn't deserve any royal treatment. And not to mention how their dad got off for his sexual release now, without her… It was just sickening. And once it got dark, he'd drag him away to the streets. For what, you ask? To sell his body away to any pervert who'd ask. Yeah, that's right. His father felt the need to prostitute him for the generous cost of 500 an hour, without his say so, of course. Though, he was grateful for one thing. His dad didn't permit sex. So, basically, anything but that would go down in those disgusting hallways. So he had no reason to whine about anything, right? At least, that's what he kept telling himself. But once he turned eighteen, he could say goodbye to that privilege. After all, their "beloved father" wanted him to be fully mature before he took his virginity away. Was it just him, or was that sick, too..?

But he and his brother had other plans. At least, he did… He wasn't exactly sure how Keitaro would react. You see, he and his brother were rather… Close. In the kind of incest way… Well, they only had each other, considering that neither one of them wanted to date anyone due to their dad's possessiveness. He didn't even know that they were as close as they were. And they weren't about to let him find out. Anyway, he didn't want to lose his virginity to his dad like Keitaro did. On his birthday, no less. Yeah, happy - fuckin' - birthday. From what he was told, it was very painful. And he absolutely didn't want to lose it that way. No, he wanted his brother to do it. Was that wrong..?

His thoughts were interrupted once the familiar junk-car of his brother's quickly turned the corner and swerved to a stop in front of him, causing for him to raise a brow.

The passenger's window rolled down, and Ulquiorra was greeted by his brother's smirking face, and matching emerald eyes twinkling with mirth, only further assenting to his joyful tone of voice, "What'cha lookin' like that for, Onii-chan?"

Yes, he and Keitaro looked almost exactly alike, minus the fact that his older brother was taller, had much, much longer hair, and he was much more masculine-looking… But they had practically polar opposite personalities, despite the fact that he could somehow manage to make him smile. As he did now.

"You're an idiot, Nii-sama." Ulquiorra informed as he opened the passenger's door, and slide into the seat beside his brother.

His words earned him a chuckle, and to his surprise, his face was grasped between gentle hands, and the unusually familiar pair of his brother's lips was placed upon his own.

The kiss only lasted for a short amount of time, however, seeing that Keitaro pulled away and smirked, "You looked like you needed that."

Emerald eyes blinked incredulously at Keitaro, and he snorted, crossing his arms as he glanced out the window. "…Whatever."

The rest of the ride there was quiet, and once they finally reached their apartment, where Keitaro killed the engine… But once he moved to get out of the car, Ulquiorra grabbed his arm, earning him a questioning look.

"I want you to be the one to take my virginity!" Obviously, he didn't think beforehand, or else he wouldn't have said it… Like that, at least…

Silence followed his blurted words, but after a while, Keitaro spoke softly, "You sure?"

Ulquiorra nodded, he'd already made up his mind, after all…

"Now?" Such a question had him very much flustered, resulting in his next batch of frantically blurted words.

"N-no! Not now..! Not h-here, at least…"

He glanced away, keeping his eyes trained on his lap, until he heard a soft chuckle from his brother, and he glanced back up, just in time to see him lean foreword, a hand whisking out to cup the side of his face, along with a thumb that brushed against his cheek. "You're really cute when you blush and stutter like that."

Such a thing only had his blush deepening, and he muttered a hasty, "Whatever," before exiting the car, not even bothering to see if Keitaro was following or not.

But only when an arm slung around his shoulders and pulled him into his brother's side, was he aware that he was actually followed.

"Don't get all moody, you really are adorable."

Ulquiorra just sighed at that, not feeling the need to reply once he glanced at the window's of their floor. The lights weren't on. The bastard wasn't home, and he'd actually get sleep tonight.

Hallelujah.

Guhh… This chapter killed me. O-o Writing all of this… But yeah, I hope you like it, even if my writing might suck. :'D