Title: Boundaries when broken up
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com
Rating: T
Category: Neil/Andrea…All Neil/Andrea
Series: Story number six, what follows are titles and story id numbers. (1) After he's at her door – 2486705. (2) When the mighty all – 2506192. (3) While his wife's away – 2525486. (4) While they're away – 2543010. (5) When love's not working – 2543013.
Spoilers: None or some minor it won't bother anyone.
Archive (if applicable): fanfiction (dot) net.
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary: Neil and Andrea are apart but seeing each other everyday is not easy and Andrea needs boundaries.
Author's Notes: THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who's left feedback and to those who have been reading anonymously, I'm terrible at leaving feedback but love receiving it.
Disclaimers: I know the boundaries; no one here belongs to me!
Andrea takes no notice of the light switch although her apartment is drowning in darkness. Her keys and purse fall to the floor when her hands can no longer hold them. She slumps into the sofa sitting for the longest time listening to the traffic outside, the distant wail of an emergency vehicle. It's all drowned out by the silence from her apartment – deafening silence. She lets herself cry, here in the privacy and safety of her own flat and the cover of darkness is comforting as well. She lets herself cry till she sleeps.
"You look awful." Amber comments the next morning in the locker room. Andrea's neck is stiff from sleeping on the sofa and she isn't in the mood this morning.
"You have no idea." Andrea snaps, outwardly Amber's life is seemingly a series of one nightstands. Andrea believes she's never felt real pain over letting someone go; she'd probably wanted half the men she'd slept with gone by the morning.
"Sorry." Amber replies sarcastically with her nose a little out of joint. She slams her locker door before leaving Andrea alone and in peace. Andrea sighs and slams her own locker, pausing at the change room door to brace herself before she steps outside. In here she's relatively safe; out there she has every chance of running into Neil.
With a deep breath she opens the door and runs straight into Dale Smith. "Whoa, morning Dunbar," he says grabbing Andrea's shoulders to steady her after the collision. "You do know you're meant to give way to those already in the corridors." The small joke falls flat with Andrea. "Better lose that long face before you go up to CID today, the DI requested you." Andrea's heart sinks she was hoping they could split cleanly now it seems as though Neil was going to hang onto any thread he could.
"Oh but Sarge," Andrea protests moments after Smithy has walked away. He turns, brow crinkled with confusion. "If it's alright I'd rather not be in CID today."
"You don't knock these opportunities back Andrea, especially if you're inclined to be looking for a promotion in the future." Smithy lectures.
"I know Sarge but just not today." Andrea says quietly.
"You'll have to take it up with the DI; he was the one who asked for you." Smithy walks off leaving Andrea to rattle the information around inside her head.
CID is bustling and no one notices Andrea's presence too busy with ringing phones and chatter. She hates that her legs feel wobbly and she's not as confident as she would like to be. His door is closed and she takes a deep breath before knocking, it does little to make her feel better.
He's on the phone and for a moment doesn't look up giving Andrea an edge – even if it's only in her mind. "I'll call you back." He says to the person on the other end when he sees Andrea. She can see the sadness in his eyes which lock onto hers till he realises he's making her uncomfortable.
"PC Dunbar." He says lacking the professionalism the two words usually carry.
"Andrea." She corrects outlining the type of conversation it's going to be. Their eyes lock again, this time it's Andrea who initiates. "I'm here to ask you not to request me to come and work up here. I'm trying to…" but words cannot be found for the rest of what she wants to say.
"You don't want to be reminded of how we were because it hurts." Neil finishes standing to look down onto the street from his window.
"We can't sort things out if we're seeing each other everyday." Andrea finds the words to put it another way. Neil turns and takes her eyes with his again, both of them betraying just how much they want each other.
"I respected that Andrea, even before you knocked on my door…I didn't ask for you." Andrea feels a little off kilter.
"Sergeant Smith said…" Her voice falters.
"I requested a uniform, that much has to come from me but Jim and Phil wanted you because you were the one who took the call for the series of burglaries they're working on." As Andrea digests the news she realises she's made some unfair assumptions. She looks down and up again unable to find the words to say she'll get right back to work. It only takes one nod from Neil to let her know it's all right. A slight uncomfortable feeling accompanies her as she closes the door behind her.
"Oh God, its true," Yvonne says to herself spying Andrea standing against the wall of the station near the vehicles. In her hand a cigarette rests precariously, even more unstable the length of ash that clings to the unburnt butt.
"Honey said you were out here but I didn't believe it when she said you were smoking, but here you are." Yvonne sounds unimpressed.
"The Inspector was out here a few minutes ago, she said I looked like I needed one." Andrea looks down at her right hand.
"Figures, I didn't think you were a smoker." Yvonne sighs looking at the cigarette that doesn't rest as comfortably in Andrea's hand as it would a seasoned smoker.
"I haven't smoked since I was 13, took it up and gave it up after one puff. Got this one half-way to my lips and that was it." Andrea says softly and gives up the thin stick to Yvonne who extinguishes it under her foot.
"Amber's been telling anyone who'll listen about six different reasons why you're upset over this break-up, my personal favourite is that this guy was rich and about sixty and was going to be your meal ticket."
"Glad I can give everyone something to talk about." Andrea replies darkly.
"Tony came to your rescue, told her off for spreading rumours and being inconsiderate towards your feelings."
"He's a good father figure." Andrea smiles slightly.
"You wanna do something later, cheer you up?" Yvonne offers.
"All I want to do is go home and lick my wounds and mourn the loss of the man I would have married had circumstances been different." Andrea's eyes are wide and tear glazed.
"You know where I am if you need me." Yvonne offers squeezing Andrea's hand.
"Thanks."
When she gets home the box of his things stare at Andrea as they have done since she packed them there, it feels like weeks ago now, she's not ready to let them go yet.