A/n: Wasn't funny enough to be a house rule, so I just made it a oneshot. :D

Beta: Jeaniverre

Jasper's POV!

Frustration swept through me as soon as Bella stomped through the door. "Bella," I acknowledged. She waved me off and gracefully stormed up the stairs to Edward's room. I glanced at Alice, already sensing the quarrel that was soon to commence.

She looked down and cracked a smile. "She's so funny," Alice giggled.

"What's niggling Bells this time?" Emmett asked blithely.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough," she grinned, peeking at me and winking.

Alice and I had a connection, unlike the other couples in the house. We didn't need physical contact to know that we loved each other.

"But to throw a party, Edward – it's just – so – no. I won't do it," Bella stuttered, and, with a couple more steps, entered the room.

"It's just to let everyone know you're well," he consoled her.

"It's unnecessary. My friends already think I joined the cult of good-looking people, and besides, physically, I'm not twenty," she argued.

"I think you could pull it off," Emmett cut in.

She glared at him. "You are not helping," she seethed, and Emmett's eyes widened as he scurried out of the room.

"So much emotion," I started, breaking the discussion. "Such small grounds."

"This is not 'small'. This is big - huge. This is-" I cut her off with a soothing touch of tranquillity.

"Thank you, Jasper," Edward sighed sincerely.

"Don't think this is over," Bella snapped as she jabbed her finger towards him.

Alice laughed abruptly. "She's not kidding."

"Great..." I heard Edward mutter when Bella was out of the room.

Emmett snorted. "Dude, she's going to kill you."

I raised an eyebrow and stared at Edward. "What are you going to do for her party, exactly?"

"Nothing too-" he started.

"Liar!" Alice cut in, making all but Edward jump. "He's making a huge deal out of it; she'll freak out. I'm sensing some crying too." she replied, frowning at him.

"Out of happiness, I promise." He crossed his un-beating heart.

Emmett smirked to himself.

"Emmett!" Edward moaned.

"It's your own fault. You had it coming!" Emmett antagonized.

"What?" I asked; I was so out of it these days.

"Emmett is making derogatory jokes about Bella." Edward snarled, stalking out.

My mouth twisted and lightly high-fived Emmett's outstretched hand.

Alice rolled her eyes, annoyed, and stood up, murmuring about the obscene things that men think as she left.