The William McKinley High Cheerios were cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester's drones - everyone knew that. Identical uniforms, hairstyles, bags... hell even their folders and books were the same. They were also the most popular people in the school, including all the male Cheerios. The respect and fear they commanded from the student body was intense, so of course all the girls at the school wanted to be on the cheer squad.
Now Tina Cohen-Chang, one of McKinley High's resident goths, never thought she'd be a cheerleader, not in a million years. So, when her best friend Kurt Hummel decided to join he knew he'd need a friend to go with him. Rachel Berry was too much of a diva, Mercedes Jones was not cheerleader material, Quinn Fabray was pregnant, and Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez were already on the squad. But what made Tina say yes to Kurt's ridiculously crazy plan was the oh-so attractive footballer in her homeroom, Michael Robert Chang Jr., or Mike as he was known. Tina lusted after him. He was incredibly handsome, smart, funny, had mad dance skills, and was really popular. But Tina knew that he'd never go out with a girl like her, an unpopular goth with very few friends. She'd been branded as Tina Cohen-Loser for far too long. Sure, they were both Asian but he didn't seem interested in Asian girls judging off the way he looked at Cheerios like Cherish Williams, Niamh McNeil, or even Brittany during glee, or how the latter was usually his dance partner in glee club, often appearing on each other's Facebook accounts where Tina could only dream of being. So, of course, she would join the Cheerios if it meant he'd notice her.
"I'll do it," she announced unexpectedly as she skidded up to Kurt at his locker.
The counter-tenor blinked at her in confusion before it dawned on him, "you'll join the Cheerios with me?" Tina nodded as Kurt squealed excitedly, "all we need to do now is prove to Coach Sylvester we're good enough!"
The duo turned to Santana and Brittany for this part, the current cheerleaders persuading the cheer coach to let them try out during a lunch break. Tina knew that Kurt used some form of blackmail against them, although he wouldn't say what. She didn't really care – she was joining the Cheerios come hell or high water.
The routine Kurt chose was an intense display from both himself and Tina set to a mash-up of You Keep Me Hanging On and You Can Do It. The goth was glad Kurt was gay as he held her in the splits above his head at the end, not sure if she could handle a guy looking up there if she wore a Cheerios uniform.
Coach Sylvester looked at them towards the end before scrawling down a few notes, "you can put Little Miss Asian down now Lady," she barked cruelly, informing them to meet her in her office after they'd cleaned up.
Apprehensively they entered the office and quickly sat in the two chairs provided, "congratulations you're both on the squad," the cheer coach perched herself intimidatingly on her desk to face them, "I could use a dash of yellow number four and one of my male bases transferred schools a few weeks ago and I could use a handsome, flammable gay to take his spot thank you, Lady."
Kurt protested at her nickname, "that is offensive. If you insist on giving me a nickname just don't make it a slur."
"Fine, how does Porcelain sound. You do remind me of one of those china dolls," Coach Sylvester drawled, but strangely still respected the boy's wishes.
Kurt nodded in agreement, also confused by their new coach's respect, glancing quickly at his skin self-consciously. Sylvester handed them both bags with all the Cheerios items they could ever need or want inside, "practice is at seven am on Mondays and Fridays as well as on Tuesdays and Thursdays after school 'til five. Now get out of my office," she barked at them.
The duo exited as quickly as they had entered, beelining for their separate bathrooms so they could change into their uniforms. After pulling on the tight, revealing uniform and removing in her colourful hair extensions she stood in front of the mirror as she pulled her hair into the signature high ponytail. Only for Tina realise she didn't have a hair-tie on her. Dag nab it.
"Here, I have a spare," a cheerful voice said behind her. Spinning around Tina saw a short blonde Cheerio pull out a red hair tie as she styled Tina's hair into the signature Cheerios ponytail. "You could probably get away with leaving it uncurled but if you want I have a curling iron in my locker? It's not far. I'm May by the way." Deciding to stay on the good side of Coach Sylvester Tina nodded in agreement and the girl quickly returned with a wide barrelled curling iron, teaching the newbie cheerleader how to achieve the perfect curl as desired by their Coach.
"You look really pretty," May complimented again, to the former goth's relief. She was a hot cheerleader now. Tina Cohen-Loser was tossed into the fireplace, and Tina Cohen-Cheerio was born from it.
Tina thanked her before rushing out to spot Kurt waiting by her locker. Smiling at each other Tina grabbed her books and the new Cheerios headed for their combined English class. The rest of the day went smoothly. Kurt was still harassed by the jocks but they wouldn't dare slushie one of Sue's Cheerios so he was safe from that torture. Tina herself found more with than one of the jocks who ignored her before lusting after her.
"The rainbow hair was cool," one jock approached from behind her, "but goths are freaks. You're a freak no longer you sexy babe," Tina was rather uncomfortable with his leering as he closed in on her.
Fortunately for her, Santana and her sharp tongue showed up and sent him packing, "you'll learn to scare them off eventually," the Puerto Rican informed her with a devious smile, "just put some razor blades in your weave."
The two were quickly joined by Brittany and Quinn as they headed to the choir room. Kurt was already seated next to Mercedes, heads stuck together as was typical of the pair, the Unholy Trinity grabbed seats behind Artie Abrams who had paused mid-conversation with Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson to stare at her. She smiled shyly after the drummer winked at her before sitting down next to Mercedes. Right in front of Mike.
Mercedes leaned over to the new cheerleader, "girl you look smoking in that uniform. Congrats!" She hugged her friend happily.
Mr. Schuster entered, greeting his kids before talking them through some ideas for Christmas. Glee was relatively uninteresting with them voting on some song choices and Rachel insisting she hog every solo, much to everyone's annoyance.
The class was dismissed, and Tina was disappointed when Mike didn't acknowledge her or her joining the Cheerios. Matt Rutherford and Noah Puckerman had offered her a simple congrats and obligatory stare at her ass, while Artie grabbed her attention before she could leave.
"Girl you look fine in a cheerleading uniform," he assessed her and her ass.
"Th-t-thanks?" She stuttered out, slightly uncomfortable with him as his eyes zeroed in on her chest, specifically her boobs.
"What are you doin' Friday night?" Artie asked the pretty Asian cheerleader.
"Are you asking me out just because I got on the cheerleading squad?" She was shocked at him, even more so when he only shrugged at her, "get lost Artie I have a life without guys."
She ditched him and raced outside to where she knew her mother was waiting for her in the front car park.
"You joined the Cheerios?" Her mother Kim Cohen-Chang squealed, hugging her daughter happily as the latter climbed into the car. Tina nodded and her mother insisted their family go out for dinner.
"Only if we skip Breadstix and go to the little Karen diner in town instead?" She asked. Kim agreed and the mother and daughter headed home.
When they told her dad made a noise that sounded like that time Puck tried to reach Kurt's high notes as he hugged his daughter tight, "oh I'm so proud of you Tae-Na!" David cheered for his little princess turned cheerleader. "Karen for tea tonight?" Tina giggled at her father's Britishness as she nodded enthusiastically.
Her first full day as a Cheerio was Thursday. Her father had dropped her off at school nice and early for cheerleading practice before heading to work. It was gruelling, hard work and Coach Sylvester offered no compliments, only a constant stream of insults screamed at them through a megaphone. Plus, she had been put towards the top of the pyramid, underneath two random guys and Kurt. And to top it all off most of the Cheerio girls ignored her beyond Santana, Brittany, the overly bouncy May; and her best friend, a sweet half-Chinese senior named Susan. But surprisingly she still found herself loving every single minute of it. Even while Coach Sylvester was screeching at them through her. Cheerleading was her new passion next to music. It was so much fun.
A ringing sound deafened her ears. Damned cursed bell was right above her locker.
Now the bell had rung and she was late to homeroom. Homeroom with Mike. Making her entrance and accepting the scolding she received from Mr. Brown, Tina grabbed her usual seat behind Mike. And as usual, he ignored her. Why was it so damn hard to have him notice her? He still wouldn't even acknowledge her joining the Cheerios.
She let herself doze off as Mr. Brown took the role and read out the notices for the day, dreaming of hunky jock in front of her. He was so handsome. And kind too, she remembered seeing him help a cheerio pick up her books after the poor girl had tripped in the hallway near her locker. Mike was perfect, but she wasn't. So of course, he never gave her any heed. Perfect people only hang out with perfect people.
The bell rang and Tina headed to her freshman English class, watching as Mike headed to his sophomore biology class. Maybe he wasn't into her because she was younger than him? Nonsense, she told herself, she was three months younger. The fact that they were born in separate years should have nothing to do with it. She sighed and headed to English, spending the whole hour daydreaming about the ripped jock who honestly would never notice her in a million years.
She still had three more classes before lunch, the latter of which with Artie. Seated next to her. Gods he made her uncomfortable sometimes. Hopefully, he'd be tolerable today. Hopefully.
"Hey Tina," the brunette called out to her as she entered their maths classroom. She gave a small wave as she plonked down next to him. Darned seating plans that meant she couldn't escape him.
"H-hi." She stuttered back, smiling lightly as she occupied herself with grabbing her books out of her new bag. It was surprisingly roomy. She briefly considered swapping with the boy behind her to sit with Ben the drummer, but that idea was thrown out the window when their teacher entered and started the lesson. Why did biology have to be so boring?
Fortunately for her, Artie was civil the whole lesson, making the time in bio pass faster as she drifted into yet another daydream about Mike. God, she needed to get a grip on herself.
The rest of the week passed in that same pattern before Christmas break halted school for two weeks and Tina did everything she could to avoid gaining any weight, including using the laxatives Santana regretfully gave to her on their last day at school. But it was a new year now and the shy Tina Cohen-Loser was no more, she decided as her new year's resolution, now she was the popular and confidant Tina Cohen-Cheerio. She was going to own this year. It was hers and hers alone.
Striding into school, Tina smiled despite herself. Grabbing her books out of her locker she noticed some jocks coming towards her with slushies. Only just managing to avoid flinching at the thought they passed her entirely, tossing them on Rachel instead. One, Peter she believed, offered her one of the slushies, "strawberry," he smiled at her as he passed it to the cheerleader, "you seem like a strawberry kinda girl."
Oh, good Lord, he was hitting on her. Well, might as well just go with it, Tina thought as she smiled at him, with what she hoped was a sultry look on her face, quickly taking a sip, "lucky for you I am." Closing her locker she thanked him briefly before tossing the slushie in a bin out of sight of the jock. Good Lord did she hate those things.
"Nice performance," a scratchy voice interrupted her. Oh, hi Santana.
"Thanks," she replied curtly, "now what do you want?" Tina glared at her teammate.
Santana's smile remained but she got straight to the point, "just because Tina Cohen-Loser might be gone doesn't mean you're suddenly Tina Cohen-Cheerio."
"Are you threating me?" Tina rose an eyebrow, working hard to keep her voice from jumping several octaves at the Puerto Rican cheerleader's tone.
"No," came the reply, "simply an offer from the rest of the bitch squad to help you fully embrace you're inner queen Tay."
Now that'd be a great way to get Mike to notice her. Act cool, don't think about being unpopular.
"Fine," Tina replied, "show me what I need to do."
Santana smile grew as her eyes narrowed on a jock not far from them. Stepping seductively up to him, they instantly began to talk for a few moments before Santana gestured for Tina to join them.
"Dylan this is my friend Tina, she's a freshman too," Santana introduced the two. Dylan was attractive, with a round face with deep green eyes that accented his light brown hair. He was somewhat slender but still muscular with a sweet and heart-melting smile.
Tina smiled, "nice to meet you."
"The pleasure is mine," he replied charmingly as the bell rang, "see you later?" He asked.
Tina giggled the way she'd seen Brittany or Quinn do whenever they flirted, "of course." She strode to class and sat in her usual seat. Yeah, Dylan was cute and charming and probably as interested in her as she was interested in Mike, but the hunk in front of her was a dream come true. She sighed to herself, unsure of what to do.
Tina found Dylan in the lunch line. Taking a deep breath, she giggled lightly before greeting him. The smile she was rewarded with was probably worth a million dollars.
"Hey Tina," he greeted, "how was your class?" He asked politely.
The cheerio shrugged, "calc is boring, bio was literally explosive and now lunch is amazing. Yours?"
As it turned out he enjoyed anything English related as he wanted to be a screen-writer when he graduated, and a fascination with history was something they both shared. She also learned he was on the lacrosse and mounted polo teams.
"Care to join me?" Dylan asked as he led her out to the grass in front of the school. Nowadays she would usually sit with the glee club or some of the Cheerios but this was nice.
"Favourite song," she asked, the two deep into a game of twenty questions.
"Currently it's Rusted Root's Send Me On My Way."
Tina balked at his choice, "seriously. I don't know if we can be friends if that's your favourite song."
"It's currently my favourite, it changes every couple of weeks," Dylan rolled his eyes, "random fact about yourself."
"My name's actually Mi Tae-Na. It was anglicised to Tina when I started school, but then I was already using my adoptive parents' last name." She admitted, having spent more of her life with her English name as her mother called it. Thankfully they still insisted on calling the girl by her Korean name.
"Huh. Well, mine's that I wear glasses," he admitted, popping out a contact lens to Tina's disgust, "yours is better though Tayna." He tried.
"Tae-Na," the cheerio corrected instinctively, "but you don't have to call me by it. I'm so used to Tina that it's normal now."
Nodding, Dylan continued their game, the duo constantly erupting in laughter at their answers. It was a pleasant lunch, Tina would later recall, the two simply chatting about anything and everything.
"So, who was that guy you sat with at lunch?" Matt asked the moment she walked through the choir room door for glee.
"Dylan Porter," she replied uninterested. Brittany looked hurt as she asked if they were practicing cheer moves without her. Santana was quick to correct her.
"Dylan Porter not Dylan Foster," she explained as Tina recognised the name as the freshman cheerleader who had assisted Kurt in holding her up for the pyramid that morning.
"We know," Puck retorted, bringing everyone's attention back to Tina, "we just want to know if we need to hurt the guy if he breaks your heart Cohen-Chang."
"Oh, leave Tay alone boys," the Puerto Rican cheerleader snapped from her seat next to Brittany, "she's her own woman, she doesn't need a troupe of knights scaring of every guy…" her words faded from Tina as she allowed herself a quick glance at Mike. Ah crap, he was staring at her.
Mr. Schue walked in, abruptly ending any conversation as he introduced the man with him who promptly ruined all their dreams, telling them that they were worthless and would never come true.
Welp. There went all of her dreams about getting together with Mike, she thought dejectedly as she waited on the steps for her mum to pick her up after cheer practice that afternoon.
Throwing her uniform into the washing basket with tears of dejection in her eyes she wondered if it was even worth still being on the team. She joined to get Mike to notice her and it wasn't working. She was fine being Tina Cohen-Loser. Tina Cohen-Cheerio felt like some kind of façade.
Her phone buzzed with a message from Dylan Porter, sweet cheer moves. He sent, you have skill.
Smiling despite her current mood she sent him a thanks followed by a happy face. She had forgotten she was actually good at cheerleading in her moment of sadness. Coach Sylvester had only yelled at her once so far for her cheer skills and that was because she'd never actually done a backflip. Maybe Tina Cohen-Cheerio could stay for a little longer.
Her phone buzzed again, this time with a message from Mike, need a dance partner for glee, you in?
Tina shrieked in delight as she fell off the bathroom counter, Sure. What happened to Britt? She replied trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably at containing her enthusiasm on the inside as she squealed again.
Can't tap. Mike messaged back, Told me you could.
Could is a strong word. Tina giggled happily as she responded, I used to tap, haven't in a while.
Better than nothing. Mike's answer read a few seconds later, tomorrow, dance studio 3, 7 am. Be there.
Was it a date, no. Defiantly not. But did it feel like one to Tina Cohen-Cheerio, yes. Oh yes, it did.
Her phone dinged again. That's my girl! Read a message from Santana. Tina rolled her eyes at the fiery cheerleader's words.
Kay, she replied to Mike as she skipped out of the bathroom. The Cheerio settled in at her desk to start on her history homework, texting back and forth between Dylan about the Great Depression and Mike about tap moves that'd work. Tina Cohen-Cheerio was here to stay and she was on a roll.
AN: This was an idea that's been bouncing around in my head a lot lately and I'm so glad I finally got it out. I just absolutely adored every second of Tina being a cheerio in Swan Song. I wish she'd stayed haha. Also, just to explain the whole Tae-Na part, I have a head canon that Tina is actually her English name, so I wrote it in there. I'm not sure if I'll write anymore in this verse… who am I kidding of course I will. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed!