Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Renesmee's POV
I will not think about Jacob Black.
I will not think about Jacob Black.
I will not think about Jacob Black.
I will not—Oh, crap!
I'm thinking about him, aren't I?
My eyes averted away from the sprinting quarterback on the television screen and to Dad, who was clearly focusing in on my thoughts about Jacob. He nodded, wearing a sheepish smirk that seemed to annoy me to no end. Not only could I not stop thinking about Jacob friggin' Black, but I also had to share my thoughts with my father. That couldn't have sucked anymore than it already did. I mentally growled, stomping my butt out of the house.
"Where are you going?" Uncle Emmett asked.
"To the cottage," I answered. "I need to think."
"Alright then, don't hurt yourself!" He chuckled, waving me away as he returned his attention back to the football game.
Must. Not. Go for the throat!
Dad chortled at me.
See, what I mean?
I ran off and was in my room surrounded by baby blue walls in less than a minute. Now that I was full grown halfie, my speed had been enhanced, but I still couldn't beat my Dad in a race, but according to everyone else, besides Uncle Emmett, I could jump the highest.
Magnificent. I'm part human, part vampire, and part T-I-Double Guh-ER.
I kicked off my sandals and flopped down on my warm, marshmellow-like mattress. I buried my face into a pillow. Inhaling, I could make out the faint husky smell of the wilderness—Jacob's scent. I groaned in frustration, beginning to contemplate his murder.
Stupid, stupid Jacob Black! Ugh!
As fate would have it, the filthy mongrel started flinging pebbles at my window as he used to when Mom and Dad would make the attempt to keep us away from each other. At one time, I thought this gesture of true love was cute, but right now his adorableness was infuriating. He was not Romeo, and I was not Juliet. I would have preferred it if Jacob would just go away, but if he absolutely needed to speak with me, then the least he could do was ring the doorbell or something.
"Nessie!" Tap. "C'mon!" Tap. "Would you please talk to me?!" Tap. Tap.
I growled, hopping off my bed. Opening the window, I studied his face. Jacob looked extremely tired, which was partly my fault apparently. I jumped and landed right in front of him. Glaring at the werewolf, I hoped he would get the message and leave me alone. He, however, kept looking at me as if I were his everything, or his solution to every problem. That couldn't have made me feel angrier than I already was. And to make matters worse, my heart started melting and knees wobbled beneath the ivory skirt Aunt Alice purchased for me.
Dumb imprinting werewolf.
"In case you haven't noticed, Jacob, but my lack of communication with you lately has been an attempt to tell you that I really do need my space," I hissed.
"You know, I thought you would be happy about this," Jacob exclaimed angrily.
"Happy? Why should I be? I do not want you to be forced to love me, Jacob Black. You deserve a girl of your choice." My tone lowered on the last part, realizing that I wasn't actually at Jacob, but at my stupid existence. "I want you to love me, because you want to."
"I do want to love you, Nessie. I have always wanted to love you; I just didn't always know it." He took a step forward to me, but I did the exact opposite of what I wanted to do and moved away. His pained brown eyes locked with mine.
"What if I don't love you back, huh? What if I hurt you? I could never live with myself if I did." I didn't want to pull away from Jacob. I wanted to love him. I wanted him to hold me and be with him for the rest of eternity. "Things would be better for you if I was never born."
Jake let out a sarcastic laugh. "Ha! Yeah, I would be a bitter werewolf, killing bloodsuckers in cold blood, all the while I'm still over the moon for Bella. Sounds awesome."
I rolled my eyes, fighting that sickening twinge in the pit of my stomach that I always had when Jacob spoke of life before I arrived; however, this twinge was worse. What Jacob didn't realize was that I kept imagining him with another girl and he would have been equally, (if not more), happy. So, I showed him. The gooey, fluffy feelings that I had for him being reflected in the eyes of the fathomed girl in my imagination. By the end of the fantasy, Jacob started shaking his head.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"I won't ever want to love anybody else," he expressed.
"Duh. You're forced to love only me, remember?" I reminded him.
"Nessie, you just don't get. Before you were born, I was this angsty, self-loathing, angry, little punk that wanted to imprint and find the person that I was supposed to be with more than anything in the world," Jacob explained. "I have made so many mistakes in my life. I never hated Edward exactly, just the fact that he could find true love with the very same girl I wanted to be with. Living with that fact and me seemed almost pointless. And then, Bella gave birth to you."
"Yes, and had you not imprinted on me, my rump would have been roasted, because I killed your lurve. Then, we all lived Happily Ever After. Spare me," I grumbled, planting my butt on a large boulder.
Jacob sighed. "True, but that's not what I was going to say. The love I felt—that I still feel is stronger than anything than I've ever felt. That was never a mistake. "
"Wonderful," I mumbled sarcastically. "Right, right. So if I asked you to jump off the Empire State Building in a gorilla costume, would you?" I asked, getting up. Looking away from him, I let a few tears trickle down my cheeks.
"Yes," Jake retorted softly, "but is that really any different than what your parents would do? Jasper and Alice? Emmett and Blondie? Or how about Carlisle and Esme? They love each other the same we do, but they don't have the gift of imprinting."
Crap! He had a point.
"It's not like you ever get to choose who you're happy with," he added. "But for what it's worth, had I known what I know now, I would have chosen you from the very beginning. You know, let you live and maybe fall in love somewhere down the road."
He rested his warm hands on my shoulders. It took ever amount of restraint I had to not turn around immediately choke him with my tongue. My body began to tremble at his touch, the way I always had whenever I felt just one touch from him wasn't enough. Jacob took my hands and twirled me around to face him; breath hitched in my throat.
"J-Jacob," I stammered, blushing involuntarily.
"Nessie, don't you remember when you always used to refer to me as your Jacob—because I am. I am yours forever. Nothing you say here and now will ever change that—they way I feel about you.
"By force, Jacob!" I screamed. "You only love me, because I love you!"
"No, it's not like that and you know it."
Jacob roughly grasped my exposed porcelain shoulders and captured my lips with his in a passionately tender kiss. I didn't pull away like I probably shoulder. I just pressed our bodies closer together, allowing Jacob to caress my flushed cheeks.
After a long moment, his lips brushed gently against my forehead. I looked at him, unreasonably shocked, backing away slightly. Jacob Black gave me my first kiss and never have I felt so alive with an overwhelming warmth and passion.
"I love you, Renesmee Cullen. Don't you run away from me. Don't you say that I can't." Jacob said to me, softly running his fingers through my long bronze curls.
Bum, bum. Bum, bum, my heart pounded loudly, and I desperately wished that I could make it shut up.
"You feel what I feel, don't you? See? I'm not the only one here." Jacob stated with happiness in his eyes.
"Well, duh, Jacob!" I glowered at him as if he just stated the most obvious statement in the world. "I know that I love you, but I actually had to experience falling in love with you."
"And you think that I didn't do the same with you, Ness?" He inquired rhetorically, warmly smiling. "If you really think that, you're not as smart as everybody thinks you are."
"Fine, fine. What about me do you love?" I challenged, perking my eyebrows. "Go ahead. Tell me."
"I love how you run around on the shores of the beach and how your let-down curls swing around with your every movement. I love the way you wrap your arms around me when we ride together on my motorcycle; how you scrunch your nose when you're angry." I covered up my nose then. "The way you blush, so much like how you're mother used to. Your eyes-"
"Yes, I know. They're milk chocolate like Mom's used to be. Dad tells me that all the times." I glared, cutting him off.
"No. That's what I used to think myself. Sure, the eye-color is identical, but that's about it," the copper-skinned man replied.
"What do you mean," I queried.
"With Bella, it was sort of easy to always know what she was thinking, for the most part. She always looked gentle, breakable, fragile." I giggled, finding it hard to believe that Mom could ever be 'breakable' or 'fragile.' "But you—I see your pain, happiness, your anger, and your laughter. Still so easy to read, but no matter how you feel, your eyes are filled with such passion. They are your eyes. But what I love most about you is how you befriend everyone from vampires to werewolves, even the most seemingly dangerous ones." I laughed, knowing that he was talking about the Romanians, and possibly Zafrina. "Have I made my point yet? Or do I need to go on?"
I sighed, giving him a sad smile. Okay, so Jacob did in fact fall in love with me after all, but again, it's not like it was his choice. "Your happiness is all that could ever matter to me, Jake."
"Oh, Nessie," he grinned his most Jacoby smile for me in hopes of reassuring me. Maybe I was being unfair to him. I had seen how happy imprinting made Sam and Emily; Jared and Kim. . . "You make me happy. Maybe you need time to digest this?"
I shook my head, knowing that he would let me 'digest' this away from him. "No. Well—maybe, but not away from you."
"Missed me then, did you?"
"Shut up, jerk face, and kiss me." I ordered.
He mockingly saluted to me. "As you wish, my oh-so fair and noble leech." Jacob smirked, closing the distance between us.
We kissed again and I officially became Jacob's girlfriend; and him my boyfriend. Maybe imprinting on me wasn't a deliberate choice for Jacob, but he was my soul's mate. Free will be damned if it can make him happy.
I will not think about Jacob Black? Yeah, right!