What if someone bought milk, but it was in a solid bottle and Jesus had just recently been to the store and had unintentionally changed it into wine. The poor unsuspecting bought his milk and took it home to his family.
"Honey, could call the kids and then pour the milk?" And so he called the children and his wife brought out the roast chicken they were going to have for dinner. The man brings out the bottle of milk and begins to take the lid off, not paying attention to its contents as he asks his children how school was.
The blood red liquid begins to flow out of the bottle into the oldest child's milk glass. With a scream of horror the mother passes out, the husband throws the bottle against the wall in horror, splattering the red wine against the crème wall. The children sit there, staring blankly at the wall that is now dripping red wine. They then devour their family and leave the house. Holding hands as they skip, blood stained, into the night.
The next day the Winchesters show up. And they can't tell what is blood and what is wine. And it was all caused by Jesus. "Son of a bitch…" exclaimed Dean. Sam looked up into the sky and yelled "GOD DAMNIT JESUS."