Disclaimer I don't own Inuyasha Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Media do Rated R
Dedicated to whispering cage writer of The Not So Innocent Miko who inspired me to write
this and The Hentai Miko And The Happy Monk, updated extended April 15 2011, Sessh/Kag
Kagome Gone Wild
By Raven 2010 June 29 2010
The miko, the snake demon, and Sesshoumaru's camp
Kagome was walking in the woods alone she was enjoying the relaxing peace and quiet after all the many days of shard hunting with barely any rest stops, and she was in no mood to be screwed with today
A snake demon came "Miko give me the jewel shards now wench or die" it demanded
"Give me the jewel shards or die" Kagome mimicked in a childish whiny tone "Get off your ass and go find your own butt breath"
"Hiss" how dare you speak to me in such a manner? Give me the shards nooow" it screamed on the last part
"Constipated lazy assssshole" Kagome replied, then licked her lips "Yum snake meat, you know after I kill you there should be enough meat to feed a whole village, and I haven't had snake in a long time""
It mentally gulped, and cringed "I want the shards, give them to me now"
"Give you the shards" have you been drinking sake, and gotten blind, and brainlessly drunk? Tell you what" how about I put one of my arrows up you ass? Then skin you and make myself a nice belt" she said smiling evilly
It felt a chill run down it's back, and fear fill it's mind and body but the snake hid it well "Bitch I'm losing patience with you"
"Awww poor little snakey wakey's losing patience, you know what I am going to walk away now and you get to live another day" so are you gonna be a good boy and give a girl a break? Because I really do not feel like killing anything today" Kagome wise cracked
"Puny human" how dare you? Who do you think you are? It snapped
"Oh I am just the one who is bored with you" she replied
"Damn you" it screamed in fury
"You first lizard droppings" she insulted with a grin
Kagome turned to walk away the snake demon knocked her into a tree causing her to hit her head, but before she passed out she notched an arrow, and as she had promised she shot an arrow right into his ass. Kagome's last thought before she passed out was
"Now I'll finally get some freaking sleep"
Sesshoumaru smelled the demon and was on his way to deal with it. When he arrived at the scene he saw the snake demon with the arrow sticking out of it's ass just before it turned to dust he smirked
"Jaken?
"Yes lord Sesshoumaru?
I know you love to antagonize the miko but you see what happened to that fool snake demon, that is the sign of an exhausted miko who no longer cares, and who's fury is past the point of control, that will happen to you if you persist. When she awakens you will not bother her" Is that understood?
"Gulp, y, yes mi lord as you wish"
Sesshoumaru picked Kagome up bridal style and carried her to his camp site, he laid her under a tree. Rin made her as comfortable as possible but as usual Jaken couldn't behave and let stupidity take over
Jaken's powder, and the beehive
Jaken had a magic powder that when blown into the face of it's victim caused that person to go wild, and if the user of the powder wished for their victim to torment and fight with another they would. His plan was simple he blew the powder in Kagome's face at the same time he wished for her to aggravate Sesshoumaru, then Sesshoumaru would either kill or throw her out of the camp
A while later Kagome woke up "Where am I? she asked
"Your in my camp miko, you were knocked unconscious by the snake demon you battled and I brought you here to re cooperate" are you hungry miko? would you like something to eat? Sesshoumaru said
"Yes please" wow he is so beautiful Kagome thought while looking at Sesshoumaru "I bet he could love a woman to death, ah what a lovely way to die" she thought
"Rin please give the miko some food?
"Yes my lord Rin will" they look so good together Rin thought
As they sat around the camp fire and Sesshoumaru sat under his favorite tree a short distance away. Jaken decided to start the ball rolling on his evil plan. While Kagome sat eating her food he jabbed her in the leg with a small pointy twig hoping she'd lose her temper and strike him, and enrage his master
Forgetting about Sesshoumaru's keen canine hearing he whispered "Go ahead wench" who do you think mi lord will believe a filthy ningen, you or me his faithful retainer? Jaked needled her
"Oh you filthy toady woady your ugly but I bet you taste delicious I'm starving" should I roast you and see? Or just eat you raw? I always wanted to try toad meat" Kagome said then licked her lips
Jaken's eyes bugged out and he gulped "Your insane stay away" a panicky Jaken said
Kagome grabbed Jaken by the nape of the neck stood up lifted him up off the ground held him up to her height licked the sides of his face, then said hmm delicious what a delicacy but needs salt"
"Put me down stupid wench" he demanded
"Now don't be that way Jawken, I love you I thought you loved me to my pretty little toady woady" Kagome ragged, when she said his name wrong it really bugged him like she knew it would
"Lord Sesshoumaru, lord Sesshoumaru, do you know what this filty ningen wench has done?
"Jaken you know better then to wake me up unless it is urgent" but he really wasn't sleeping
"Yes but mi lord but she" he started and was cut off
"Silence you rambling pain in the ass, insolent fool I'll have no more of this or I will kill you" Sesshoumaru threatened
"Ye, ye, yes mi lord" Jaken stammered
"Hm miko one toad zero" Kagome needled
"Stupid arrogant wench"
"Future toad stew" she said
"Gulp" Jaken did then backed away
Sesshoumaru was enjoying it and quietly laughed to himself "The miko is acting strangely I know Jaken did something to her I do not know what, but I'll find out until then I'm going to enjoy the entertainment, this can only get better. I would not mind having the miko stay permanently she's a beauty and fun" he thought
Later that evening they went to their bedding and got ready to go to sleep Jaken snuck into the forest and very quietly cut down a honey bee hive, went back to camp shook it hard pissing off the bees inside, and put it under Kagome's blanket, sat back and waited for Kagome to get into bed
At warp speed Kagome was behind Jaken picked him up by the neck of his haori, took him to her bedding with her free hand threw back the blanket, shoved the bee hive over his head burying him in it down to his shoulders, then put him under the blanket with all the pissed off bees stinging him from head to toe
Jaken jumped up "Yeeeeeouch, help, ow, ouch" he screeched while running around in circles" he finally got the bee hive off his head
"How do you like me now numb nuts? Kagome thought
"Hehehe, I love this miko already" Sesshoumaru thought while mentally laughing his ass off
"Lord Sesshoumaru? lord Sesshoumaru? Jaken wailed
"What is it? He asked trying not to laugh
"Look at what that wench did to me" Jaken whined
"Jaken how many times have I told you not to play with the beehives? But do you ever listen, nooooo?" Sesshoumaru joked
"Miko 2 Jaken zero" she whispered to him
"Ooooo" Jaken groaned in frustration
"Want me to clean you up you poor baby? I could give you a nice warm bubble bath and squeeze the stingers out of the bee stings" Kagome teased
"No, no, no you stay away from me" why are human wenches so evil? Your worse then a demoness" jaken said
You're a pain in the ass and that is true but nobody loves you Jaken as much as I do" Kagome taunted "Pain in the ass like this" she said ,then put the tip of one finger on his butt and zapped him with her miko powers
"I don't want you to love me stay away" Jaken screeched then ran like hell
Before he left Kagome gave him an evil grin "Ok toad this war" she thought then quietly walked away without another word. She went into the woods and using her vast knowledge of herbs mixed a special batch she knew Jaken would try again
Orange Jaken, and an itchy runny situation
The following morning Kagome cooked and was serving breakfast, as usual Jaken tried again he snuck and put a lot of salt in her bowl. But what he didn't know is that she was ready for him she played dumb and very nicely served him his bowl of food, he ate after about 5 minutes his stomach started rumbling he began to itch scratch and then turned bright orange
"Lord Sesshoumaru look, look what she did to me" Jaken whined
"Jaken what have you went and gotten into this time? Did I not tell you not to fool with things you don't understand? And as always you never heed my warning" he said coldly
"But mi lord are you going to let her do as she pleases? She is a human wench and you are a great demon lord she should be on her knees before you" Jaken harped
"Jaken you dare to question me? Imp have you no wish to continue living?
"Forgive me my lord"
Then it began for Jaken the worst case of diarrhea in history and itching simultaneously
"I'll get that little ningen bitch if it's the last thing I do" Jaken mumbled to himself" Then an evil thought crossed his mind
"He'll never learn or understand the true treachery or wrath of a female who's been pushed to far" Sesshoumaru thought
"Why is master Jaken so dumb? Rin said to herself
Once again it was meal time Jaken slipped a powder in Kagome's food Kagome anticipated he'd put something in it and switched bowls. He ate it full of arrogant pride that vengeance was his, not long after he was doubled over in pain holding his stomach he had eaten his own pregnancy labor inducing powder
Kagome walked over to him and whispered in his ear "Never fuck with the master, miko three Jaken zero she taunted, you should stop before it's to late" she kissed him on the forehead then turned to Rin and asked "Rin would you like to go to the hot spring with me?
"Yes Rin would like that very much"
Hidden a good distance away from the camp site while sitting against a tree, Sesshoumaru did a very rare thing while holding his stomach and stomping one foot on the ground laughed so hard tears streamed from his eyes
"Oh my god I love the miko to pieces, I shall miss her I wish she would stay" Sesshoumaru said
Love, Sesshoumaru makes his move
Rin got out of the hot spring first dried off got dressed "Kagome I am going back to camp now ok" Rin said
"Sure Rin I'll be back in a little while"
"Ok Kagome" Rin said then left
Sesshoumaru who had went to and hid just outside of the hot spring sat hidden with his back turned waiting for Rin to leave. After Rin was gone he remained then watched the object of his affection, Kagome finished climbed out of the water and Sesshoumaru's eyes went wide his heart raced and he was in heaven with the sight before him she dried and then dressed
Sesshoumaru waited until she was finished then made his move. He quietly and stealthily snuck up behind Kagome she soon felt two strong arms wrap around her waist and soft warm lips kissing her neck Kagome looked down and saw the magenta stripes on his hands and knew who it was
"Se, Sesshoumaru? She said shocked
"Yes miko the one and only"
"You with me? Hah, what?
"Yes Kagome I very much desire you as I suspect you also desire me"
"You called me by my name for the first time, and yes I think that you are the most beautiful creature on earth or that I have ever seen I want you"
That is what I hoped to hear from you my miko" Sesshoumaru answered his hot breath caressing her skin
Sesshoumaru turned her to face him then took her lips with his in a scorching passionate kiss he used his tongue and coaxed her to open her mouth she did. Their tongues did a passionate battle, their breathing soon became heavy as the fire burned and rose between them
They broke apart both aroused "Kagome may I place a courting mark on you?
"Yes" with the tip his claw Sesshoumaru painlessly put a tiny crescent moon on left side of Kagome's neck
"My miko there is one more thing that I would like to ask your consent for" would you you do a blood bond with me?
"How is it done? Kagome asked
It is simple with my claw I will make a small cut one on the tip of your finger and one on mine, we would then drink each others blood. You will gain some of my abilities and I yours I would be immune to other miko's as well and it is also what you humans call an engagement"
"Engagement? Mate? She said in surprise
"Yes I knew by your scent the day I picked you and carried you to my camp that you were meant to be my future mate" he explained
"Then yes lets do the blood bond, and yes I want you and would love to be your mate" she said
With his claw Sesshoumaru cut their fingers they drank each others blood, then felt a surge of power flow through their bodies while their auras combined as one, in seconds their cuts were healed and gone
"Hello my intended mate" Sesshoumaru teased
"Hello my fiance" she replied then explained to him what a fiance was he smiled
Sesshoumaru stared deep into her eyes with such intensity it sent a spark throughout her body. Kagome put one hand around the back of his head and gently pulled him down into another hot kiss they, continued at it for a long time still in his arms he took her and flew off to a more private place
Then Jaken who had been scheming revenge went to the hot spring looked, and when he saw Kagome was no longer there he dumped a bottle of clear liquid potion into the hot spring so that when she went into the water again she would turn bright pink
Pretty in pink, here come the ants
The next morning Jaken waited with great anticipation for her to make her usual morning trip to the hot spring, Kagome played along but then suddenly found, picked up, carried Jaken to, then dropped him into that same hot spring
"Why do you persist in continuing to try toad boy? Will you ever learn and give it up? She asked Jaken
"I am an imp not a fucking toad filthy stupid ningen, and I shall persevere then vengeance will be mine wench"
"Wow Jaken oh excuse me I mean Pinken you look so pretty in pink"
"And you will look beautiful dead" Jaken screamed
You know Jerken oh sorry I forgot your name toad boy, if you got laid then you wouldn't be sooooo bitchy. There must be some blind female imp you could pay to service you
"Why you cheap little ningen tart"
"Not cheap or low enough to go with you, and I love you to my wittle jaky waky, this is 4 for me zero for you, hehehe" Kagome wise cracked, she loved reminding him of the number of times he failed, she made kissing sounds then turned and walked away
Sesshoumaru hearing that with his keen canine hearing "Ahhh that's my miko" he said smiling evilly
That night Jaken being the brainless ass that he was tried again he put ants in Kagome's bedding. Meanwhile Kagome with a plan of her own and was digging a hole a distance from camp, she came back found the ants hmm works for me she thought
She grabbed the blanket with one hand and Jaken with the other took him and gagged him covered him with honey threw him into the hole that she had dug shook the ants out of the blanket down into the hole then, swiftly buried Jaken up to his neck she did it all so fast Jaken had no chance to react
"Nighty night sweet prince sleep tight" Kagome said then turned and left
Early the next morning while they all slept Sesshoumaru scented Inuyasha and his group coming, he masked the scent of he and Kagome's blood bonding on his body first then headed out to intercept them Sesshoumaru approached them
"Sesshoumaru have you seen Kagome? Inuyasha asked
"She is at my camp she was injured in a battle with a snake demon and I brought her here, Rin and I took care of her but you must not take her away now"
"What the hell do you mean we can't take her asshole? Inuyasha barked
"As usual you stupidity infested half breed you falsely accuse then rush in without waiting to find out first" Sesshoumaru retorted
"Inuyasha I'm sure lord Sesshoumaru would not make such a request without good reason" Miroku said
"Ahhh shut it monk"
Gonk "Ouch my head" Miroku what the hell was that for? Inuyasha asked rubbing his head
"I hit you with my staff to try and knock some sense into that stone head of yours" Miroku replied
"Thank you monk" Sesshoumaru said
"Your welcome my lord" Sesshoumaru told them everything
"Jaken has just now gotten out of the hole and will undoubtedly try again which will prove to be very entertaining for us" come with me? We can observe you will enjoy it Immensely"
They hid behind the bushes just outside the camp and watched Jaken made it back to camp picked up his staff of two heads and tried to scorch Kagome, but faster then he could blink she knocked it out of his hand ,then used her miko power formed a spear of energy from her index finger pointed and shot it at his ass and scorching his derriere
Kagome herself and the others watching saw something new and strange, instead of her miko power glowing light pink it was a medium dark pinkish red, and 3 times stronger "Holy shit" Kagome thought
"What the fuck was that? Inuyasha said, Miroku had his suspicions but remained silent he and Sango grinned
"Hm our blood bond has given her a big power boost, she will be a powerful mate" Sesshoumaru thought while he mentally smirked with pride
"Jaken didn't I tell you the other day that if you got laid you wouldn't be sooo bitchy? there must be some blind and insane female imp you could pay to take care of you" Kagome taunted
"Oooh shit" Inuyasha said "that's cold, oh well better him then me"
"You see I told you it is hilarious" is it not? Sesshoumaru said "What can I say the little green pain in the ass never knows when to quit"
"Ok you little green bastard since you won't quit here let me show you exactly how much I love you" Kagome said smiling sadistically
"No, no, no, no, no I'm sorry" please forgive me? I will never do anything again I promise" Jaken pleaded
"Okay I am the forgiving type" Jaken smiled "Not" Kagome wise cracked
"Eeeeeee" Jaken shrieked
"Oh crap I am going to fucking die this shit is to funny" a laughing Inuyasha said while tears poured down his cheeks "Hey Sesshoumaru he's male does he have a death wish screwing with a miko?
"I've given up all hope of him ever gaining an once of intelligence long ago, Just wait little brother the biggest shock for Jaken has yet to come" Sesshoumaru said grinning
"Oh I can hardly wait for that then" Inuyasha replied
"Me to Sango, and Miroku" said
Kagome grabbed Jaken poured a lust potion down his throat then held his beak shut for a couple of minutes so he couldn't spit it out, then suddenly Jaken gulped turned deep beet red and put his hands over his crotch, then Kagome let him go and he ran like his ass was on fire
"Hope you enjoy for the next 7 days that's how long your gonna be in that condition. Remember what I said pay a blind female imp? But Remember because it's you she has to be blind if she got a look at the real you she'd run screaming" Kagome wise cracked
"You see is this not entertaining? Sesshoumaru asked them
"Miroku, Sango, and Inuyasha were laughing so hard they couldn't answer and just nodded yes
"Jaken used a powder on the miko because he thought to set the miko against me and cause a war, but because she's a miko and I'm a Taiyoukai it had the reverse affect. Oh kami's I have enjoyed the miko's antics too much" Sesshoumaru said then laughed
"Sesshoumaru your laughing every body knows when you smile it's just before somebody dies. But your laughing that means whole villages could be wiped out, good god's man your giving me the creeps" Inuyasha said
"Relax Little brother I merely immensely enjoy seeing that little green pain in my ass being dealt with in such a humorous way. But Inuyasha I would strongly advise that you not be your usual overbearing self with the miko until the affects of the powder Jaken used on her wear off in two more days"
"Yeah ok fine whatever"
They walked into camp "Oh hi guys I missed you" Kagome said
"Oi wench we've come to take you back so get your ass in gear and let's go" Inuyasha said
"Really Inuyasha you don't know how happy it makes me to hear that" before he knew what hit him Kagome had him pinned against a tree, pulled the front of his hakama open looked down and said nice package Inuyasha remind me to try roast it over an open fire later" Kagome said
"Ouchy" Miroku joked
"Want me to get Jakotsu for you? He's probably a little kimky and wouldn't mind a big strong man like you being bossy" Kagome ragged, Inuyasha was to shocked and embarrassed to move because of all that had just happened to him, but recovered fast when they all heard a high pitched scream of agony coming from the forest
"Ahhhhh" Jaken screamed
"Aw judging by that scream I think our little jaky waky finally found a girlfriend, sniff, sniff my little boy has grown up so fast" Kagome joked, and feigned tears with a wicked smile
"Miko you are indeed his undoing I love it" Sesshoumaru said
Jaken was so blinded by horniness that he saw a tree with a small hole in it hallucinating and seeing it as a female, and tried to mate it and relieve himself. Only not paying attention he didn't realize that it was a tree and got his manhood full of splinters
Sesshoumaru walked over to Kagome hugged her and said "Thank you miko this has been the most enjoyable Jaken event ever"
"I think h, h, he'll be scarred for life" Miroku got out
The bride and groom
"Sesshoumaru, and Kagome turned faced each other locked eyes then Kagome put her arms around him and kissed him. Sesshoumaru returned the kiss and deepened it, Inuyasha gasped while Sango and Miroku tried to keep a straight face and not laugh
"Okay my miko it's time for us to go and consummate our union" Sesshoumaru said picked Kagome up and put her over his shoulder
"What Sessho and Kag? Inuyasha gasped out in shock unable to finish their names
Sesshoumaru dropped his masking spell then it hit Inuyasha's nose the scent of the blood bond Kagome and Sesshoumaru had done, plus the courting mark
"You and her blood bond, courting mark, future mat? A wide eyed Inuyasha said but did not complete the sentence
"Inuyasha I believe the word you want is mate" A smiling Sango said
"I knew it, I knew it I knew it lord Sesshoumaru and Kagome" Miroku said then did a happy dance
"I, I, I" shocked Inuyasha said then silent with eyes much like a zombie, Miroku Sango and Kagome almost bust a gut laughing
"Hm little brother your speechless for once wonderful, this is better then I had hoped for" Sesshoumaru said smiled then flew off with Kagome
"Congratulations and have a happy honeymoon" Sango and Miroku said to Kagome, and Sesshoumaru's retreating forms
Sesshoumaru arrived at a small island and set Kagome down, overwhelmed by lust and not having the patience to wait Kagome and Sesshoumaru removed each others clothes kissed and felt each others bodies.,
"My Kagome" Sesshoumaru said in a love and passion filled voice
"I love you Sesshoumaru"
"And I you, and always have"
"You mean you have wanted me and all this time I never knew it? She said
"Yes miko, I said nothing because I thought you wanted to and would mate Inuyasha" he said
"To tell you the truth I'm happier then you know that it was you, your so beautiful your face body everything"
"As are you" he replied, then kissed her
Still kissing her he laid her on her back mounted and entered her the second that contact was made both gasped in pleasure, she screamed his name while he pleasured her over and again, then while they exploded his fangs went into her neck she repeated his actions, and they continued their love making hours
Inuyasha stayed in a state of silent shock for a week Shippou Sango and Miroku were in heaven without his usual nagging yelling and complaining. Days later when Sesshoumaru and Kagome returned Inuyasha unable to believe it his eyes went wide while a look of deep shock covered his face
"Sesshoumaru and a human mated I never thought I'd live to see the day" Inuyasha said
"Surprise little brother" Sesshoumaru said
"Inuyasha now is that any way to greet your sister in law" Kagome joked
Wanting nothing more then to give Inuyasha a big jolt he reached over stroked then gave Kagome's butt a gentle squeeze, Inuyasha gasped, gulped, went wide eyed, then his jaw dropped and mouth was agape, Miroku wore a lechers grin of pride, and was beside himself with joy to have a fellow butt groper in the group
"Holy shit I can't believe it" Inuyasha said then rubbed his eyes in disbelief, then looked again only to see Sesshoumaru still at it "My mister high class never a hair out of place brother is a big perv, who would'a thought it? Inuyasha said
"Hehehe" Sesshoumaru laughed "What, I am still a man you know, and I like ass but only my miko's?"
"Ohhhhh I need a drink" Inuyasha said, went into the hut grabbed a bottle of sake, came back out, sat under and with his back against a tree, and proceeded to get blind drunk
"Yeah but you've got to admit it is funny as hell count on good old Inuyasha to always make life fun it'll never be boring" Miroku added
A half hour later Inuyasha was stoned out of his gourde "Oh my big brother is a man of high class and he loves to grope ass, weeeeee I thinky I'm drunky"
"That you are" Miroku said with a grin
"Little brother you are astounding while drunk" Sesshoumaru commented with a grin