AN: This is a parody of Solliefan's story Pure True Love. No offense Jess, but there were so many things that I found about your story offensive girl. So I decided to set things right. For all those who are concerned about copyright violations, Jess gave me permission to post this. She said she didn't care if I wrote a parody based on her ideas that she was flattered. Ask her if you don't believe me. I'm not normally a writer, don't have any intention on being one either. But let's just say that Jess's story inspired me to write this. Which is good I guess.

Becca

Schuyler Van Alen woke up screaming as she blinked her eyes awake she sighed when she felt her long hair on her naked back and sighed deeply when she was still in his arms and that he was still blonde and his sculpted body was ridden of tattoos.

Good lord, what a nightmare.

"Schuyler," Jack's voice murmured. "Are you okay, love? You're shaking."

"I had an awful nightmare, Jack." The young Blue Blood said.

"Did you," He said as he pulled her small body close to his. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed heavily, "Not really…Um, Jack you don't know anyone named Caleb do you who spells their name weird?"

"Caleb," Jack said. "No, never heard of a Caleb. Why?"

Schuyler sighed as she remembered the God awful dream she had in which she was bonded to some tattooed freak who had ruined her life by impregnating her and then leaving her for Mimi Force of all people who Schuyler happened to think was her sister.

Seriously?

"Oh no reason," Schuyler said. "Jack, would you ever name a child Peaches, Pebbles, Pixie, or God I forgot the last one…"

"No, no, and no." Jack said. "And what's this with kids? I thought you wanted to wait before we tried. I thoughts that's why you were on the pill and why we always use condoms because better safe then sorry."

"I do want to wait," Schuyler said. "God, after that dream I had I think I want to get my tubes tied."

Jack laughed, "Oh, no you don't. Because when we're ready you and I will make the perfect baby together. Of course, we have to deal with Mimi and the conclave first."

"So Mimi's still not my b.f.f." Schuyler said frowning with the mere use of the word.

"No," Jack said. "Hardly. She hates you. Wants to kill both of us."

"Jack," Schuyler said. "That is the best news I heard all day. Besides the fact that that freak Caleb doesn't exist. And I still have my hair and you haven't ruined yourself by getting any stupid tattoos."

Jack just blinked at her and asked if she was okay.

"Oh, I'm better than okay." Sky said as she kissed her love. The man she was about to be bonded to. "I'm perfect just being with you. Just remind me never to have eat Indian food again before I go to bed. Well, that and to never get a body piercing, tattoo, shave my head, or call myself Darkly Delicious, and get myself knocked up every other month."

Jack looked at her, "Sky…"

"Yes, Jack." She said.

"Let's go back to sleep," Her love said.

"But I don't want to go back to sleep," Schuyler said.

"I want to be with you."

"Well that," Jack said. "Can be arranged."