The adventures of bubble boy
By Angelwings9
Team fic, but could be seen as more depending on your goggles.
Shep whump – naturally
No warnings
No spoilers
There is a reference to a fic I wrote previously, but you don't need to have read it, it's not important.
Written to cheer myself up after my own allergic reaction – good times? I don't bloody think so!
Summary: John wakes up to discover he's allergic to something. His day gets worse from there.
XXX
When John awoke in the tent, he found himself feeling a little worse for wear. The headache, queasiness and dry mouth he put down to the rather marvellous wine they had all been drinking the night before. Why on earth his face was itchy and his lips tingly he had no idea. Maybe he'd slept funny. Stumbling out of the tent, pulling his left boot on, he was greeted by Teyla. "Morning Colonel did you… OH MY GOD! What happened to you?" she exclaimed.
Startled, John fell over. Teyla rushed to help him up off the damp grass. Ankle beginning to swell, with a wet arse and pants, John allowed her to help him over to log, where he could sit. "Why, what's wrong with my face?" he said distracted, as he rubbed his sore ankle. It was a sprain only, but it didn't half hurt. Reaching up with her hand, Teyla gently examined the blotches which had evidently appeared over-night.
"It looks like you've had an allergic reaction to something. Here," she handed him a compact mirror from her pocket. Who knew she was such a girl. He decided it best not to call her on the mirror; he didn't need beating into a pulp today.
Taking the mirror he looked at his reflection and gasped. His right cheek was swollen and puffy, red blotched had shown up all over, and his eye was beginning to close of its own accord it was that bad. "What the hell? I look like I went ten rounds with Ronon."
Teyla looked at him sceptically. "Ten? Your hopeful, no offence John but it'd be more like 2 rounds," she smirked.
"That's right, kick me while I'm down," he chuckled.
"Does it hurt at all?" she asked, still trying to assess the severity of his reaction. He wasn't normally prone to allergies, but as they come into contact with so many new things and foods, it was bound to happen one day.
"No but my lips are tingling and my face is really itchy," he said, as he began scratching in earnest.
"Do you feel breathless?" she said, pulling his hand down. "Stop scratching you'll only make it worse," she chastised.
He though for a moment, concentrating on his breathing, "No," he decided.
Teyla stood, walked over to her tent, and got her pack out. Delving to the bottom, she pulled out a packet of anti-histamines, which she kept just in case Rodney needed them. She's never really thought about anyone else have a reaction to anything. She'd be sure to add another packet to her pack once they were back on Atlantis. 'Better safe than sorry' -she's heard that from Laura and decided to steal it as her own motto. As she passed the camp fire, she poured a coffee for John and snatched up a thick branch, which he could use as a crutch.
While Sheppard took his pill like a good boy, Teyla put a tube bandage around his leg. It would help keep it secure on the trek back to the gate. "How many of these can I have?" he asked.
"Just one a day, hopefully it'll be enough until Keller can deal with you," she helped him to stand and gave him the makeshift crutch.
"Thanks. We'd better round Ronon and McKay up and head out. Thinking about it, where are they?" he rubbed his face.
"They went down to the lake, Ronan's showing Rodney how to fish; runner style. And stop scratching!" she explained. John decided not to comment on the wonderful absurdity of McKay learning to fish. He was looking forward to seeing it for himself.
"I can't help it, it's very itchy!"
After they'd packed up the camp, they walked- he hobbled- down to the lake to see the others. Sheppard simply couldn't help himself when he burst into raucous laughter. He had been quite correct. It was an absurdity. There was Ronon, knee deep in the muddy looking water, with a spear. He looked ridiculous, almost like he'd taken all those caveman insults as advice. McKay was ankle deep, also with a spear, thrusting it in and out of the water, as instructed by Dex. Ronon looked like his patience was wearing thin. Teyla shot John a look, "Don't laugh, he's trying."
"Oh no doubt of that!" as they approached, it was John's turn to be laughed at. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up at least I'll be fine when we get home, I'll have photos to laugh at for life!"
"You didn't. Did you?" McKay looked worried, "Oh god, my reputation will be ruined, you can't do this to me Colonel!" he splashed back to the shore, spear in hand, and marched over to Sheppard and Teyla.
"Relax McKay. I can't use a camera with one hand." He grinned.
"God, don't smile, it looks even worse. What is it you're allergic to anyway, bubble boy."
"Who knows, and never call me bubble boy. That's your name." the banter continued as they set off. Back and forth, as John hobbled next to McKay. Teyla was on point with Ronon bringing up the rear. His face felt better for a few hours after the anti-histamine, but it stubbornly refused to clear up completely. His ankle was killing him, so what should have been a four hour trek was actually taking them well over twice that. The terrain was beautiful, soft green grass with lots of pretty wildflowers poking out. Unfortunately it was uneven and there were potholes everywhere, making it hard to walk across.
After six hours he needed to rest. "Guys, lets take ten," Rodney looked particularly pleased with the plan. He hated walking at the best of times and had been restraining his normal moaning, as John looked like hell and probably didn't need to hear it. Teyla took the opportunity to check Sheppard over.
"It's gotten worse," she handed him the mirror. She wasn't kidding. His right eye was now nothing more than a piss-hole in the snow. The swelling had spread, so that now his entire face was enlarged, his left eye was starting to close too. The blotched were now hives and had spread down his neck.
"That's not good." said McKay coming over to have a nosey.
"Astute McKay. Why didn't you tell me it was this bad?" he snapped.
"Because I didn't notice!" he sat down next to Sheppard, grabbed his face and had a closer look, "are you having trouble breathing, because your necks starting to swell too?"
John thought for a moment. He did feel a little breathless but he'd been struggling to walk so…. "Not really." He said, as he absently scratched his chest.
"You're chest is itchy too? Let me see." McKay didn't give Sheppard time to protest, as he whipped his tac vest off, and hitched his shirt up, "oh dear."
"What?" John wasn't in the mood.
"Teyla, look at this." when she saw John's exposed chest she gasped in horror. Hurriedly she took his shirt of completely to inspect his back too. Angry red welts were everywhere, his chest, back, shoulders and going down his arm. "I think another pill might be a good idea, at this point," said McKay with concern. "How do you feel, are there any other symptoms? And do not even think about lying to me! You are not as good at poker as you think!"
John reached up and slapped McKay up-side the head. "I feel fine and it's you that has no poker face, who won last time?" he gloated.
"You were cheating!"
Wisely Teyla stepped in, "as I recall it was Ronon who won last time we played." Ronon grunted in agreement.
"Not that time, I mean on Tuesday nights, when cheating bubbly boy and me play." Rodney replied.
"I though I told you not to call me that!" John gave McKay another slap.
Teyla gave up. 'Boys will be boys'- another gem borrowed from Laura. They rested for a few minutes more before moving on. Teyla was anxious to get Sheppard back to Atlantis; she didn't like how fast his symptoms were developing. She could see that Rodney was also fretting by the look on his face. Poker was really not his game. John should stick to chess as well, in her opinion. It was abundantly clear that he had other symptoms and had indeed been lying. His breathing was laboured and he was leaning heavily into McKay, who was by now supporting him. Ronon, who did have a poker face, was watching closely in case Sheppard need to be carried. It was not out of the realms of possibility.
With the gate finally in sight, McKay let out a sigh of relief. The last hour had nearly killed him. John was using him as a crutch and it was painfully obvious that he had got significantly worse. He'd stopped scratching and was concentrating on walking, one slow and uncoordinated step after the other.
"McKay? I think we need to stop again," Sheppard wheezed. Before Rodney could move, John dropped to the floor in a heap. He was barely conscious and only just breathing in quick, short bursts.
"Ronon, quickly, you'll have to carry him. We need to get him to Keller right now!" Rodney shouted through his blind panic. Ronon holstered his gun and scooped John up in his strong arms. With Ronon in the lead, Teyla on their six, they ran at top speed the few hundred yards to the gate. Rodney dialled quickly as Teyla checked John. She did not look happy. "Go, go!" McKay roared as soon as the event horizon was stable. Ronon, wasting no time, ran at the gate and jumped through.
By the time Teyla and Rodney reached Atlantis, Ronon and John were a blur disappearing down the corridor leading to the infirmary. They both ran after them, leaving poor chuck the gate tech, to explain to Wolsey what had just happened. Naturally, Chuck delivered it with his usual polite efficiency.
In the infirmary, Keller was startled when Ronon came running in, carrying Col Sheppard in his arms like a child. She instructed him to place Sheppard on the nearest gurney and sent him to fetch her staff. She was surprised at the gentleness Ronon used, making her remember her analogy of Sheppard being a child. Flicking her hair out of the way, she checked Sheppards breathing and heart rate. She was displeased with both. Sarah, an excellent nurse and one of the Colonel's favourites, helped her to attach wires and tubes to his body.
When Teyla and Rodney arrived, looking tired and stressed, they told her what had happened and what treatments had already been administered. She would have shooed them away, but she knew it was pointless. SGA-1 were notorious around the infirmary, for being the biggest mother hens in Atlantis. If one was hurt, the rest just could not leave their bedside until they were all better. Sometimes, even when a Band-Aid was all that was required. Really, it was insanity but Keller secretly thought it was rather cute.
She gave Sheppard some intravenous anti-histamine and asked Sarah to apply cream to his swollen blotches and welts. As his trachea had closed to the point where he couldn't breath, she had to perform a tracheotomy, with Sarah assisting.
"You know, I once did this with Carson, when the Colonel had insulted some priestess. He does make me smile," Sarah said, fondly.
Keller made the incision in Sheppard's swollen neck, just above his Adam's apple, while Sarah cleared the blood away, so that Jenifer could see what she was doing. "I remember reading about that in Sheppard's file; he's been stabbed in the neck hadn't he?"
"Yes, that was it. He does like the pretty girls doesn't he?" Sarah giggled as she applied cream to his more private areas.
"When you two have quite finished gushing about Kirk here," Rodney indicated Sheppard by waving his hand, "can you make him better? I'd hate for all the jokes I'm planning to go to waste."
"Don't worry, Rodney, he'll be good as new in a few days. Just a little sore." Said Jenifer, as she checked the Colonel's breathing again.
"Good, now when you've finished with him, my back is mutinous after carrying him for hours." Said McKay, reassured.
Teyla cut in, "I believe, Rodney, that Ronon is the one that carried John." And he was off, ranting and raving. Teyla smiled, she just couldn't help herself… it was like taking candy from a baby.
The end