So it has been requested, so it has been granted: another El Cazador fic! I pictured the setting being before the big showdown of episodes 22 on, but after the whole Ricardo/Nadie fauxdating thing (thank god Ellis was jealous and reclaimed possession of Nadie quickly!).
Disclaimer: I do not own El Cazador, nor Ellis or Nadie. If I did, they would be canon rather then massive subtext searching. Though, I do admit, my subtext goggles are happily worn.
It wasn't uncomfortable, not really: almost the exact opposite in fact. But it felt strange somehow, a more "wow, this is new" strange than unnerving strange.
No, waking up with Ellis curled up against her was certainly not something Nadie experienced every morning. Though, if it always felt this… well, right… then she could certainly get used to it. The way Ellis' arm was casually thrown across her waist and how the blond head dug into her shoulder: Nadie, if anything, was in sensory overload. She felt her partner's – in more ways than one – breath on her neck, running those tingly sensations all up her spine; she heard her own heartbeat pounding in her ears so erratic compared to Ellis' slow, untroubled one; she knew that the smile that crossed Ellis' lips was there because of this contact, because of this connection they had.
And yet, Nadie couldn't actually define the "connection." They were friends, that was a given. They were working partners, another given. But were they… well… lovers? They never kissed, never cuddled all that much – and the few times they did, it was easy to disregard such cuddling as sisterly/friendly – and they certainly didn't seem to have any sexual attraction of sorts. So, they weren't lovers, right?
But what defines lovers? How often they have sex? Never. How much time they spend together? All the time. Whether they show unfaltering affection for each other? They never really manage to stay upset at each other long…. Where is the line drawn between lovers and good friends?
Hell if Nadie knew. She did know that she wouldn't mind kissing the younger girl but would never dare initiate any such contact. It wasn't that Nadie was particularly scared or nervous -- though there was a bit of that too. No, it was more that she feared that she over-read everything and that Ellis didn't see her as a lover, that Ellis would view it as a betrayal or something. After all, their survival was completely dependent on whether they could work well together. Crushing that just for the chance at romantic interactions… well, it certainly wasn't worth it.
Besides, Ellis never really showed any romantic interest, right?
Jealously over Ricardo was normal for close friends. Besides, Ellis was dependent on her for friendship and didn't want to lose the attention. And that explains the cuddling too, right? If Ellis was at all worried she would lose Nadie to Ricardo, she would want to prove to him that they were inseparable, which they were. Possessive nature was to be expected, since Ellis only had Nadie. Right?
Friends, not lovers. Two completely different definitions.
But really, when Nadie thought about it, being lovers wouldn't be all that different. They would still go everywhere together. There still would be the occasional cuddling. They would still talk and be together. She would still wake up with the other girl curled up next to her. The only real difference would be that they would both probably be naked in the morning. Which, now that she thought about it, wasn't exactly a bad thing….
Nadie stared up at the cracked ceiling of their hotel room. It was the third room this week, admittedly the most dingy one too. But they had to keep moving. If anything, L.A. was just getting worse, which didn't help Ellis' frame of mind, and time was running out, like it always seemed to. Nadie didn't have time for mulling over the distinction between lovers and friends. That was better left to another time, another place.
"Nadie…" Ellis barely mumbled as she slowly woke up. She really didn't want to move, actually. Realistically though, Nadie would want to get going as soon as she convinced herself to get up. Can't have that happen.
"Hm?" Nadie looked down at the girl in her arms. Wait. When did she put her arms around Ellis? And how did she not notice this before?
As soon as Nadie tried to move her hands from around Ellis, Ellis muttered "Don't move."
Freezing, Nadie just stared at the younger girl. "Don't move"? That was quite a command. A command Nadie found herself most willing to follow. She relaxed her arms and pulled Ellis closer to her, smiling into the other girl's hair.
As she took in a big breath, Ellis closed her eyes again and clung even together to Nadie's wiry frame, which tightened only for a second before relaxing again. Ellis knew Nadie had no idea what was going on and liked to keep it that way. If Nadie thought too much about it, she may change her mind. Better to leave her inconclusive rather than explaining and leaving it up to chance.
Besides, Ellis knew that the line had been crossed.
They weren't lovers, but they could no longer be just friends. They somehow managed to situate themselves into that middle gray zone. It now came down to definitions, to the technical details. Ellis could sit there counting the ways to make Nadie confront the feelings or how to make her make a move. Or, maybe, considering all the ways she could make a move on Nadie, have her realize that, yes, this is what she wanted.
But why worry with such details, such definitions? Why continue fretting over something that will eventually work itself out? Sure, it'll need a push and a shove here and there, but Ellis will find a way eventually.
This morning, however, as it slowly seeps into the afternoon, will be spent relaxing in Nadie's arms, with no care in the world.
Definitions be damned.