Keep your enemies closer
What's that saying? Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Trouble is it's knowing who your friends are, that's one good thing about not having many it doesn't take long to figure out. I have to keep my enemies off balance by keeping them unsure of my intentions: by befriending them, lulling them into thinking that i mean them no harm, then striking them a death blow when they least expect it. That is what I have been doing with a certain someone. Walker, does he really think that im stupid? I watch him try to wrap me round his finger, the way he tries to manipulate me, the trouble with that is im the king of manipulation and you really can't kid a kidder. Everything that has happened lately, does he really expect me to believe that Sampson is guilty of it all? The thing is certain things don't add up. Joel's stabbing, Chez's diary, how did they even get hold of it? Even Lynsey knew the person who killed her, there was no forced entry, okay she might not have trusted Walker but she wouldn't freak out if he entered the flat. I don't know call it a hunch but he is involved somehow I just know it.
What he doesn't realize is that when he is around I watch everything, I watch how he reacts to people and situations and I notice things, regardless of how small they are. I've noticed lately that he looks at Steven in a certain way and I don't like it, I don't like it at all. He stares at him like he is just about to pounce on him and it makes my blood boil. I denied that he was my ex to him, that way he couldn't be hurt, or be brought in to anything. I know he sees me watching him sometimes from the balcony, and I know that no matter how much I tell him that he isn't important to me, he sees it in my eyes that he is. I saw him in Carter and Hay a little while back and his eyes didn't leave steven the whole time he was in there, I was looking in from outside and it took all my strength not to go in, pull him out and beat the living daylights out of him. I had to bide my time.
He desperately wants to get inside my head but he will never succeed, I will make sure of that. I will never put Steven's life at risk, I made a huge mistake with Lynsey, and I should have known, looked out for her more, I won't make the same mistake with Steven. Walker's visits to Carter and hay became more frequent but I kept my eye on him, every time I saw him in there I joined him. If he thinks im just going to sit back and calmly watch him flirt with the man I love he's got another thing coming. Was he out to destroy me? Was that what this was all about? He wanted me to suffer, they all wanted me to suffer, and even Steven at some point wanted me to suffer. I had done some terrible things in my time I know that, things that im not proud of but the people I love don't deserve to take my punishment. Steven and I had been getting on so much better, I don't want anything to jeopardise that, and if walker tries to hurt him I will protect him at all costs. I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe.
By keeping Walker close i will know all his characteristics, his likes, his dislikes, his weaknesses and strengths. This will enable me to overcome him in time of battle by anticipating his every move and being one step ahead at all times. I know he is going to use Steven to get to me, everybody does, I am prepared for that and when the time comes I will be ready for him. For now though I will continue on using him, letting him think that he has got one over on me. He thinks that he is untouchable and maybe he was, but I know that I can get to him, I can get under his skin and I will bring him down. I will make him see what happens to people who mess with me and the ones I hold dear to my heart. I am a loose cannon, im unpredictable, uncontrolled and I am likely to cause him serious amounts of damage should he choose to take me on. I will make an example of him, i can promise that.
I will have to speak to Steven; he needs to know about walker, he should know that he can't be trusted. I don't want him getting involved with him, I know that Steven hates to see the bad in people but he needs to know what he is capable of, his life could be at risk and I can't have that, he means everything to me. I will keep him safe from harm and injury and shield him from walker and all the other thugs of the world. I love him and would give anything to be with him but maybe it's a blessing that he chose to be with Douglas, he will always be safe with him. I kind of sound like a hypocrite, he wasn't always safe with me but I swear that I would never hurt one hair on his head now. Walker will get too big for his boots eventually and there will be a show down, this is what they call the calm before the storm. Im sure there is a lesson to be learnt in all of this, another reason for me to change and maybe I will try when all this is over but for now I will carry on protecting those I love and I will remain a force to be reckoned with.
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