Inuyasha Goes to the Movies
–All characters etc. copyright their respective owners.
Just in case anyone thinks I actually owned them. That would certainly explain why this isn't available in book retailers, wouldn't it? Rated for language and mildly violent and inappropriate situations.
Hideyho! For anyone who doesn't care about this, go ahead and skip down to the actual story. For the rest of you, welcome! What we have here on the screen is a collection of movie parodies starring the cast of Inuyasha! Hooray! Although some of them will be more like book parodies... it doesn't really matter. I'll continue this until I run out of ideas. But I sure have a bunch.
And for those of you reading "Gender Bendered" and/or "Greatest Fanfiction Ever", I'll get to updating those eventually, be assured. Just, you know, writer's block. Also, my spacebar stopped working, so I had to get a new keyboard... anyway, here's the first story!
The Wizard of Oz
Kagome Higurashi always thought of her life as a black and white movie - or actually, sepia-tone. Life on her uncle's farm was very dull and wheat-filled, not at all like that "Oklahoma!" That's why no one's ever written a musical called "Kansas!" Because it's dull, wheat-filled, and sepia-tone in Kansas. Even the tornadoes were sepia!
And one day, a sepia-tone tornado ripped through the town. Curiously, everyone was conveniently absent, save for Kagome and her strangely patterned cat, Kilala. And the tornado picked up her house, with her and Kilala in it! Gasp!
When the house finally came in for a landing, Kagome opened the door to find things were suddenly in technicolor! To steal a line the English dub lamely stole from the Wizard of Oz movie, "I feel a feeling we're not in Tokyo anymore..." Kilala mewed, as if in agreement, but she was actually saying, "Tokyo? I thought we lived in Kansas."
Suddenly, a bunch of midgets - er, Munchkins - came skipping over to Kagome's fallen house. "Dude, you totally killed the witch!" one Munchkin who looked suspiciously like Kagome's brother Souta said.
"What? Killed? I didn't..." Kagome protested.
"You sure did! We saw it!" a girly-looking fox Munchkin piped up.
"No, I..."
"A ha ha, you'll have to forgive them," a taller Munchking (ie, Kohaku) said. "We're just happy for you to have killed our oppressor!"
"Are you a witch, too?" Souta said, examining Kagome's clothes. "You're certainly not from around here."
"No, dear friends," a voice called from off-screen. "She has come from a long ways off. Right?" The voice revealed itself to be belonging to an elegantly beautiful woman who looked like Kagome except not really, wearing a puffy dress, hat, and holding a staff with an "N" at the head.
"Yeah, um... could someone explain all this?" Kagome said, looking from face to face.
'And move this story along?' Kilala, ever tolerant, mused.
"Right, well. I'm the Good Witch of the North. You can have the Wicked Witch of the East's very sparkly shoes, and head over to the Emerald City to see the Wizard to get him to send you back from whence you came," Kikyo of the North nodded succinctly. "Bye," she disappeared.
"But how do I get to the Emerald City?" Kagome asked, bewildered.
"Just ease on down the Yellow Brick Road," Shippo jumped up, pointing at said road of yellow bricks.
As the Munchkins sang songs from various musical versions of this story, Kagome walked quickly, wearing her gaudy silver slippers. Eventually she passed by a field, where she saw a scarecrow. As she gazed at him, she noted he was wearing blue, the color of the town she had just left, and had a blank expression on his face. Also, there seemed to be something... odd about him, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"You got a problem, bitch?" the scarecrow glared.
"Excuse me?!" Kagome was outraged. Never had anyone called her that name before besides... besides...
"What the hell are you staring at me for?" Inuyasha the Scarecrow yelled.
"Uh... Just that something seems a little odd about you," Kagome tried to restrain her temper.
"Yeah? You look in a mirror lately?"
Remembering the plot and barely containing the urge to kick the scarecrow in the haybags, Kagome said, "Say, you don't need to go see the Wizard to get a brain, do you?"
"That's another thing! Seriously, do you honestly think that I of all people am the dumbest character on InuYasha?! I'm the friggin' title character!"
"I'll just get you down off that pole and we'll go off together!"
"I can do it myself!"
Kagome and Scarecrow Inuyasha made their way into a mysterious Ozian forest. At some point, they saw something... It looked like a statue of...
"A woman?" Inuyasha said unenthusiastically.
"A man!" Kagome gasped. "But what's all the shiny stuff on him? Could it be... steel?"
"Iron?"
"Aluminum?"
"Copper, it is clearly."
"Wax paper?"
"See, you should be the Scarecrow instead of me!"
"It's TIN, you idiots!" the Tinman said through clenched, unoiled teeth.
"Hey, we were supposed to guess!" Kagome harrumphed.
"We'd probably still be here a year from now if we kept you guessing. 'Is he made of kittens?' I'm sure," Inuyasha said contemptuously.
"You could at least pretend to care!"
"No, I couldn't. See..."
"Hey! Plot continuation! Over here!" the Tinman called.
Kagome and ScareYasha walked over to the Tinman, and Kagome spotted a, um, thing of oil, while InuCrow laughed hysterically under his breath - if such a thing is possible.
"Oh yeah, Brainless? Wanna fight?"
"Now this casting I like!" InuCrow pointed and laughed at Naraku the Tinman.
Hinged, oiled, and refreshed, the group continued on to pick up their next addition, the Cowardly Lion, while Naraku and Inuyasha were busy complaining about the roles they were cast in.
"I mean, I do have a heart! I just cast it out of my body, is all, but I have one!" TinRaku explained to a nodding InuCrow.
"Grr! Who dares trespass into my lands!" a feminine sounding voice said, apparently emanating from a big pink balloon with arms and legs.
"I thought Shippo was already a Munchkin," InuCrow said, partially shocked.
"Um... The three of us are on our way to see the Wizard! He's gonna give them a heart and a brain, and he's gonna help me get home!"
"What does he need? A liver or spleen or something?" TinRaku said.
"And I'm the stupid one?! He needs an appendectomy!" InuCrow said smugly.
"Courage! Courage! Sheesh!" Shippo reverted to his normal appearance - except with a lion costume.
Skipping some extraneous adventures, the group made it to the Emerald City! For One Short Day! Very excited they were - and by "they", I mean Kagome - but the Wizard told them he wouldn't help until they brought him the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West, who coincidentally was the sister of the Wicked Witch of the East! Who'da guessed!
Then they got to the Vinkus (the west county in Oz), and InuCrow, TinRaku, and the Cowardly Shippo were NOT killed, but merely detained off-screen as the main heroine fought the evil villain because this show is rated G for General Viewing.
Anyway...
Kagome had a sort of battle with the red-eyed and feathered Wicked Witch, until she caught on fire! The Witch, I mean.
Kagura sighed. "Again?"
"I'll save you!" Kagome dumped a bucket of water onto Kagura of the West, not allowing her any opportunity to stop, drop, and/or roll, and thus killed said Kagura... who certainly did not slip through a trapdoor that only exists in one version of this story... yah...
Kagome recollected her friends and headed back the Emerald City, in a much shorter trip. Oh, Kagome also had the "broomstick" which was of course a feather.
"So now that we've killed the Witch, you'll give us said prizes?" Kagome said hopefully.
"Erm... that is... uh..." the Wizard's giant green head said.
Suddenly Kilala noticed something behind the curtain. She went over and pulled the curtain open, revealing a... erm... Jaken.
"Uh, ignore that thing behind the curtain!" the Head / Jaken said.
"What?! The Great and Powerful Oz is friggin' Jaken?!" InuCrow cried incredulously. "Screw that! See you next chapter!" He pulled off his cap and walked away.
"Hey!" the Cowardly Shippo protested.
"Uh, right, well, something about how you three had your spleens all along, but I can't help you, Kagome. You'll have to see Glinda, down south in Quadling Country," the Great and Powerful Jaken (you know he is, don't deny it!) explained.
Kagome sighed and once again headed out on the you-know-what road. When she finally arrived at Glinda's palace, a strange little girl greeted her enthusiastically. "Miss Glinda's been waiting for yoooouuuu!" she smiled, tugging Kagome by the hand.
When Kagome saw Glinda, several things became clear. Although Glinda was full of fresh beauty, she seemed to be enchanted, for she was actually much, much older than she appeared. Also, an immense aura emanated from Glinda, so it was clear she was very powerful. She sat on a throne that appeared almost to be a flower, she was dressed in all white, and wore a strange headdress.
"Yes? What do you want with this Glinda?" Sesshomaru asked from... er... her? throne.
"Well, Kikyo told me to ask Jaken to take me home, but it turns out he can't do anything, so he told me I should talk to you," Kagome summed up nearly five pages in one short sentence.
"Oh, that was foolish of him. You merely need to click your heels together thrice and say 'there's no place like home'. Now please vacate this vicinity."
"Wh-what? You mean all this friggin' time I could've gone home? Just by clicking heels and saying things?!" Kagome exclaimed.
"Yes, but isn't it better to have made friends and learned things and such and such?" Sesshomaru of the South drawled.
"Hell nah! I'd much rather have gone home immediately, than met three incredibly annoying talking... jerks! And almost getting killed by a stupid witch! ARGH!" Kagome's voice increased in pitch from anger.
"Well, that's life. Now get out before I call the cops," Sesshomaru the Good did not bat an eye.
"Fine!" Kagome clicked her heels and such, and landed mysteriously back at her homeplace, where her aunt and uncle were building a new house. "Huh..." she sighed. "And I thought traveling through the well was hard."
Fin.
OoO
=D? The story you have just read takes basis from the original MGM movie version of the book, the book itself, and references the musicals The Wiz and Wicked, both sort of based on said Wizard of Oz. Huzzah!
I assure you, other InuYasha characters will be making appearances in future stories. And Kagome won't be the main character in all of them.
And before I go, I'll say that I won't be doing certain movies in this story, because I've already read Inuyasha versions of those movies, and I just don't want to. Other movies will not be adapted because I don't think I can do them very well, I've never seen them, or heard of them. And I probably won't Inuyasha-fy the Inuyasha movies. Because... yeah...