This is a de-anon from the Kink Meme, the request being the story of Harry Potter with America as Harry, England and France as Hermione and Ron, Canada as Ginny, and Russia as Voldemort.
Okay, just so you know: the casting is going to get progressively crackier because I'm running out of canon character, and there will be a lot of OCs involved unfortunately, but all OCs will have a country equivalent. (Such as Mexico and Native America) And no, I do not own Hetalia or Harry Potter. No way, right?
The Magical Misadventures of Alfred F. Jones, the Boy Who Lived
Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived
Senor and Senora Garcia were proud to say that they were just as normal as any other American, thank you very much. (Well, okay, the truth was that after Senora Garcia had moved from England to Mexico, she had met and married Senor Garcia and jumped the border into America with him, but other than that, they were perfectly normal.)
(There also was some funny business with Cuban missiles a few years back, but no one needed to know about that, right?)
Senor Miguel Garcia worked at a factory that made guns; he was a dark skinned Cuban man with long dreadlocks pulled back into a ponytail. He was very tall and very broad, extremely muscled and just slightly intimidating.
Senora Maria Garcia was rather short and curvy, with long dark hair and skin just as dark as her husband's. She did not work and spent most of her time at home spying on the neighbors and adding new things to her ever-growing list of possible gossip topics.
The Garcias also had a young son, who they believed was the finest boy there could be and spoiled him quite rotten.
In their very honest opinion, they had everything they could ever want and were an example of the most perfect family.
However, they were also hiding a very interesting secret. (Besides the whole illegal immigrant and skipping the border thing, of course.) You see, Senora Garcia had a younger sister by the name of Amelia Jones who she had not seen or spoken to in many years. (Not since fleeing England to escape her family.) Amelia was married to a very strange man by the name of Samuel Jones, who Maria Garcia believed to be a good-for-nothing fool. (Who was also quite as UnGarcia-ish as possible.)
The Garcias were terrified that this well kept secret would some day come out; they shuddered to think what their neighbors would think of the Jones family and their relation to them. (Not to mention it might also lead to other discoveries…such as not being true American citizens and what not, and well, that just wouldn't do at all.)
So it was an unspoken rule that the Jones family was not to be spoken of in their household. (Or even thought of, for that matter.)
And so, it was with no thoughts of the Jones or the strange life that they led that Senor Garcia left for work on a cloudy Monday morning. It seemed like a normal morning in all senses and Senor Garcia was convinced it would be just as normal and boring as all Mondays tend to be, until he began to pull out of the neighborhood and happened to catch sight of something rather odd.
A panda bear. In the suburbs of Chicago. Reading a map.
Senor Garcia slammed on his breaks and looked again but there was no panda bear to be found. He stared for a moment before pressing the gas and laughing at himself. Of course there was no panda bear wandering in the Chicago suburbs. And certainly not reading a map. The idea was preposterous indeed and Senor Garcia had to wonder where he had thought that up. He decided to put the strange idea out of his mind entirely and focused instead on the work he would be doing that day.
However, just as he pulled into the city the factory work was forgotten by yet another strange sight: people in cloaks. As in…the sort of things children wore for vampire Halloween costumes. And not just children (or even teenagers, who could be brushed off as yet another strange fad) but full grown adults! In red cloaks, blue cloaks, star covered cloaks, cloaks of all patterns and colors!
Senor Garcia starred at them in shock before growling about strange Americans and their odd customs. (For despite 'moving' to America, Senor Garcia had never quite gotten over his hatred of Americans.) He decided he wasn't going to let a bunch of weirdos in cloaks drive him mad and continued on his way. A few minutes later, Senor Garcia arrived in the parking lot of the factory, his mind back to assembly lines.
(Throughout the day, Senor Garcia did not notice the owls crowding the skies when the rest of the people of Chicago did. Likewise, he did not notice the spontaneous meteor showers. By the time work ended, Senor Garcia had already forgotten the two strange events that morning and was back to his normal, completely usual life.)
It was when he was leaving the building and heading towards his car that the third strange thing happened. As he walked through the parking lot, he happened to walk right into a strange little man who (Senor Garcia groaned as he noticed it) was wearing a cloak. He nearly knocked the man over, but managed to catch him at the last second and pull him to his feet.
"Sorry 'bout that," he grunted, but the man merely smiled and him and shook his head.
"Oh, don't worry, friend!" the man exclaimed. "Today is such a glorious day! All of the world should be celebrating, even you Muggles! Hurray for our British friends!" And with that, he hugged the confused man and disappeared. And quite literally, too, for Senor Garcia swore he did not see the man run off but rather that he simply was no longer there.
Confused and slightly frustrated at being so very confused, Senor Garcia returned to his car. On the way home, Senor Garcia left his windows rolled down and swore he heard the name 'Jones' whispered through the streets by the cloak-wearers. Now not only confused, but also slightly worried, Senor Garcia rushed home.
He debated informing his wife about the strange occurrences and the mention of the Jones family, before realizing that Jones was a rather common American name anyway, and he did not want to worry her unnecessarily. After all, whatever strange was going on (even if, God forbid, it did involve the Joneses) would not bother them.
Or so, as it happens in most stories, he thought.
That night, as the Garcia family drifted off to sleep, a panda bear (in fact, the very one that Senor Garcia had convinced himself he imagined) wandered into the street in front of their house and glanced around as if in wait of something.
After a few moments, there was a quiet little pop!in the air and a man appeared out of, quite literally, thin air. The man was rather tall (taller even that Senor Garcia) and very tanned. He was just as muscular as Senor Garcia (if not more) and had curly, brown hair, a bearded chin, and green eyes that seemed to twinkle with laughter at some untold joke. He was dressed in white robes that seemed to date back centuries, with a crimson cloak draped around his broad shoulders and brown sandals on his feet. The man's name was Romulus Vargas.
Romulus did not seem to notice that everything about him was unwelcome in this neighborhood; either that, or the man simply didn't care. He was too busy looking around him, searching for something in the dark street. His green eyes landed on the panda bear only seconds later, and a wide smile spread across his face.
He did not appear shocked at all to find a panda bear in the Chicago suburbs, and as he approached it called out, "Fancy meeting you here, Professor Yao."
The panda bear rolled it's eyes at him before pushing itself up onto it's hind legs; the bear seemed to stretch itself out and contort until where there once was a panda bear now stood a rather short and skinny Chinese man. He was dressed in traditional red and gold Chinese clothes, his long black hair pulled back into a low ponytail and draped over his shoulder.
The man, Yao, placed his arms on his hips and glared at Romulus as he came to a stop in front of him. "How did you know it was me?" he asked, very clearly annoyed.
Romulus laughed, a loud booming laugh that Yao worried would wake the neighborhood, and placed a large hand on the smaller man's shoulder. "Panda bears are not necessarily a common sight in America, Yao."
Yao shrugged the hand off his shoulder and scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yes. It's been a pain having to hide myself away here all day."
"All day? When you could have been celebrating? Why, I stopped by countless parties on my way here," Romulus exclaimed.
"Yes, and all those parties are rather careless. What if the Muggles were to find out?" Yao huffed, before uncrossing his arms and shifting awkwardly, features shifting from annoyed to a strange mix of worried and hopeful. "Then…he really is gone? You-Know-Who, really defeated by a child?"
"Yes."
"So all the rumors are true then? That last night…he… he went to Liberty Place…and, well," Yao paused to take a breath and recollect himself. "Then Amelia and Samuel Jones are really dead?"
Romulus's smile did not disappear, but it no longer looked as happy as before and carried with it a sense of sadness. "Yes."
Yao kept quiet for a moment, wringing his hands nervously. "And a child, Romulus? After all this, after everything anyone's ever tried. It was a child, barely a year old, that destroyed him? How is this even possible?"
Romulus shook his head in reply, as if to say that he did not know anymore than Yao did. (But if one were to look closely, they might have noticed the gleam of understanding in his green eyes.)
Yao quieted, glancing around him. "And why are we here, in this Muggle neighborhood? In -" he sniffed with a bit of distaste, "America?"
"Ah, this is where the boy's - Alfred Jones - last living relatives are: his aunt and his uncle. They will be taking care of him from now on."
Just as he said this, there was a small pop!- just as there had been with the appearance of Romulus - and a young woman appeared beside the other two. She was tall and thin, head reaching to Romulus's shoulder, with long, straight, black hair adorned with feathers and beads, and dressed in robes made of animal hide and decorated with beads. In her hands, she held a small bundle wrapped in cloth.
The woman looked up and, noticing Romulus and Yao, nodded at the both of them. "Hello," she said simply, a look of deep melancholy in her brown eyes. "I've brought him, Rome." She lifted the bundle slightly as she said this, and Yao leaned closer to see that inside it rested a small child. The baby had blond hair, but through the bangs one could see a strange scar in the shape of a star.
"That's him then, is it?" Yao asked, eyebrow raising. Romulus and the dark skinned woman nodded in reply.
Romulus took the baby from the woman's hands and approached the house of Senor and Senora Garcia. He carefully placed the sleeping child on the doorstep and, removing a letter from his robes, placed it next to him. "I'm leaving a letter explaining everything," he told the other two, before coming back to join them. "Well, there is no reason for us to stay here any longer, then. Goodbye." And with that, the man vanished.
Yao sighed, casting one last look at the baby on the doorstep, before he too disappeared into the night. Only the woman was left. She walked towards the house and came to a stop in front of the child. "Good luck, Udsi." And then she too vanished.
All through the night, Alfred Jones slept peacefully on the doorstep, until Senora Garcia found him the next morning, letting out a scream of shock before taking him into the house. And all throughout the British Isles and the United States of America, wizards and witches raised their glasses, proclaiming happily, "To Alfred Jones - the boy that lived!"
Maria is my OC for Mexico. Amelia Jones is Fem!America, and Samuel Jones represents the Original Thirteen Colonies. Romulus is obviously Rome and the woman is Native America. 'Udsi' means 'child' in Cherokee.
The casting of the Dursleys is not meant to offend anyone, I jsut couldn't think of anyone else to cast for those roles. Also, I don't know who to cast as Dudley - any ideas?
The rest of the story will not be quite so similar to the actual books, I promise! Please review!