A one-shot. takes place after the wedding, after Spencer and the other girls have been sent home from the police station - presumably on bail. Spencer finally hits a breaking point. Enjoy. x
She looked so fragile. Her usually crimson cheeks were pale, ghostly almost. The chill in her skin was deadly, but he held her hand clasped tightly in his own. The bandages, the IVs… it was just too much. He couldn't stand seeing her this way, he couldn't stand knowing that he was part of the reason she had done this. Part of the reason she had tried to take her own life.
If he had known, if she had just told him - things would be different. He wouldn't be sitting at her bedside with tears in his eyes, praying to a God he wasn't sure existed that she would survive this. He wouldn't be pouring his heart out to her, speaking words that he wasn't even sure she could hear - words he wasn't sure he'd have the courage to say ever again.
He was beating himself up inside. He knew it hadn't been right. He knew the sudden change in attitude towards him wasn't coming from her heart. It was outside forces, always outside forces. Why hadn't he seen this? Why had he been so harsh? Why hadn't he chased her when she ran from his truck?
He rested his head in his hands, the hum of machines were the only sound to break the silence. He refused to leave her side. Hours went by. He placed soft kisses on her cold lips, stroked her icy cheek. He was afraid of what she might say when she came to… if she came to.
He reached into his bag, shuffling through tools to find the one book he always carried with him. It was the French version of Saligner's "Catcher in the Rye," the first thing she'd ever given to him. The first connection they had ever made. He began to read, stumbling upon a few words every now and then.
A small moan escaped her lips. He fell silent. He cleared his throat, sitting up in his chair, squeezing the hand he held in his own. Her eyes fluttered before consciousness was suddenly regained.
"…Toby?" Her voice was raspier than usual, as well as weak.
"I'm here, Spencer… and I'll always be here," He replied. She didn't answer, her eyes closed again. He sat back in his chair, the lump in his throat growing larger. He couldn't bare the thought of her rejecting him again, not after this. Not after he had almost lost her for good.
Moments later, he felt her fingers wrapping around his, her hand enveloping his own. He looked down, surprised.
"I love you," She whispered, she turned her head to look at him, "I love you so much." Her eyes were brimming with tears. He was past the point of no return, a sob escaped from his lips.
"You have no idea how glad I am to hear that."