Beauty and the Beast
I stood, clenched fist encased in a golden luminosity. The pointed rocks above me quivered, fighting to be impaled into Beast Boy's flesh. I was torn. The part of me I still claimed as my own was begging to let Beast Boy live. The part of me that belonged to Slade was screaming out for his death.
Did I even have a choice anymore?
The rest of the Titans were yelling at me. They thought they could talk me down. I felt a sudden urge to laugh hysterically -if only it were that easy. This had gone beyond words now. What I had done to them, what Slade had done to me, could not be forgotten. The scars had bled too deep.
I looked down at Beast Boy, into the eyes I used to lose myself in. He was oddly calm as he spoke to me. Through all the noise, it was his words alone that I heard.
"It's your life, Terra. Your choice. It's never too late to change."
That stirred something in me, made me feel emotions I thought had been shut away. Memories flooded my mind, times where I had been almost…happy. The things I had said that very morning came to me now, mocking me with their malice.
"My name is Terra. I have done horrible things…."
"And I have absolutely no regrets."
Was that true? Did I really have no regrets? It was hard to believe that now, at the point of snatching Beast Boy's life from him. Was this really who I wanted to be? I tried to imagine living the rest of my days as Slade's apprentice. For the first time, I felt disgust, even horror at the prospect. I couldn't do this. I couldn't. No matter what else had happened, all I wanted now was to do the right thing. And with that decision, an immense feeling of relief came over me. I felt stronger, felt Slade's control over me receding. I was secure in my own power, and finally, I knew who I was. Who I belonged to.
"I'm sorry, Beast Boy."
His eyes widened, and I could see he thought I was going to kill him. I wanted to weep; had his estimate of me dropped that much?
"-For everything I've done." My voice grew stronger as I swung my hand away from him. I screamed, filling the underground cavern with all my fury. The rocky missile flew straight towards Slade, who dove for cover. Anger clouded up my mind, muting all my thoughts until just one remained. Slade had to be punished. He had to be hurt, had to feel all the terror and anguish and pain he had put me through. I took after him, his elusiveness serving only to make my determination stronger.
It was at the climax of our battle, when he had me by the neck and my strength was almost gone, that I dredged up the courage to make one final stand. I looked at him weakly, at that one-eyed glare of his that was as twisted as his heart. As we stared each other down, all my hatred came flooding back. My fury built up slowly, as words of defiance tumbled out of my mouth. "You-'' I spat-"can't control me…any more!" My voice rose to a shout as I summoned up the last vestiges of my strength. Golden rays of light flowed out from me, illuminating both of us in a glow that was almost angelic. It just kept on growing, and soon we were both enveloped in it. I could no longer feel, no longer see…..the light was blinding in its radiance.
And then, it was gone. I sank to my knees, weakened and alone on a dusty rock.
A tremor ran through the ground. I could feel it through my feet, through the Earth. Robin yelled from somewhere, "Terra's power! It's triggered a volcano!" Cyborg's voice followed. "Big enough to take out the whole city! And way too big to stop!"
I squeezed my eyes shut. I never meant for this to happen….Beast Boy, I'm sorry.
The Titans were leaving, but he lingered. I floated down to him, needing to make him understand. I knew what he would say, as I already knew what my answer would be.
"Terra! Come on, we got to go!" I felt tears come to my eyes. Through all of this, he was still staying by me. I cursed myself for not treasuring his loyalty while I could. It was too late now. All I could do what try to make him understand. "I have to stay."
"No!"
"I'm the only one who can stop it."
"Please, Terra, you can't! It's too late!" He was almost in tears himself.
I didn't want my last memory of him one with tears coursing down his face. I smiled sadly. Brushing my hair back so I could look at him fully, I answered. "It's never too late."
He understood. He always did.
I wanted these last few seconds to last forever. I had so much I needed to tell him….but maybe he already knew. The tears ran freely down my face as I stepped forward and hugged him fiercely. "You were the best friend I ever had." His eyes were beautiful in the dimmed light. I would remember them that way forever.
When he was gone, I squared my shoulders and faced the volcano. Without even having to think about it, the light flowed from me again. Within the confines of my mind, I explored the volcano, figuring out a way to keep it from exploding. I raised my arms and opened my eyes. Everything became suffused with light. I felt my life draining away from me, to intertwine with that beautiful golden glow, but I didn't stop. This was what I had to do. I had a purpose. I had a friend.
Just before the world darkened around me, the inky blackness consuming the light, I remembered beast Boy's face, and smiled.