Disclaimer: If I had any rights to any of this, it wouldn't be on Fanfiction, would it?

Sonic the Hedgehog stood around in a kitchen. Now, you may have a few questions. Why is he standing still? Who's kitchen is this?

He was standing still because he's allowed to do that. And this was Tails' kitchen, in his home that he apparently has in the Mystic Ruins. Sonic was unaware, really. But yes, the kid had his own house. And Sonic, hero of the world, didn't own one yet… It would have cramped his style, in his opinion.

Tails walked into the room, carrying a weird machine with him.

Sonic said, "Hey Tails! Long time no –"

"Sonic, if you finish that sentence, I'm kicking you out and locking the doors. I saw you just a minute ago."

"Sorry, force of habit I guess. So what's that?"

Tails looked dumbfounded for a second, and then remembered he was holding the plot device – I mean, a completely unknown machine. "Oh! This is my Shrinkanator Mk.49!"

Sonic scratched his head.

… "Um, were you going to say something, Sonic?"

"What? No. Just scratching my head."

"Most people say something when they do that… huh. Anyways… umm… I kind of expected you to ask about it, and want to test it."

"Nah. That thing shrinks, I assume? Seems dangerous really. I like thrills, don't get me wrong, but that seems unnecessary."

"… You aren't even curious as to why this is the 49th version I've made?"

"I'll assume it was fan fiction or something similarly stupid, and leave it at that. You make a lot of stupid machines on that site."

"Oh. So my machines are stupid now?"

"No! Not all of them! But you have to admit, what's the use of that Shrinkamabob? Unless you use it in combat. And even then, you might hit me on accident…"

"So now I have terrible aim? Fine. You know what, I'm going to find a machine that I built that is so amazingly useful, it'll knock your socks off! If you were wearing socks… you know what I mean!"

At that, Tails ran off, leaving the plot – I mean Shrinkanator – on the counter. "Okay, Tails. You have fun with that," Sonic said.

Then, he added in a mumble, "because I doubt there is one."

He wandered around the kitchen, and noticed a rose in the window. "Hey Cosmo! How's the afterlife treating you?" the rose was right above the sink. The soil in the pot seemed kind of dry, "Let me fix that for you." He got a cup, and filled it with water, "Alright, time to get you all wet." At that, he started pouring water into the pot.

While doing so, he noticed Amy Rose making her way towards the house… the sun was shining on her perfectly, birds flying around her and singing, and leaves from the trees falling down around her. A marvelous scene to some…

Sonic was not impressed, and dropped the glass, backing away in fear. The glass fell on the flower pot, causing it fall in the sink. The pot shattered, the flower getting caught in the drain. The automatic food processor started up, the flower shredded to bits, and bits of dirt flying out of the sink.

"Oh my God, I killed Cosmo!" Sonic backed away from the sink, uncertain of how to stop the processor that was processing dirt at the moment. What would Tails think?

"Hey Sonic! I got this little thing I use to perform electrolysis tests on that flower that Cosmo turned into! I'll show you that. It's always funny…"

The blue blur was in a very bad situation. Amy was approaching the house, and Tails was coming back into the kitchen to find a mess, and Cosmo puree. Sonic eyed the Shrinka-Whatever, and looked to the left to see a rusty tea kettle Tails never used… He grabbed the device, the thing clasping onto his wrist, and put a hand in the kettle. He used his nose to hit the big green button, and… it got somewhat flashy as Sonic shrunk down to size.

Sonic woke up, feeling drowsy, drained, tired, and cranky. So an ordinary morning, really. That was one weird dream he had earlier…

… Looking around proved this was no dream.

There was all kinds of weird things, floating around, crawling around, and just… eww. They were disgusting. They reminded Sonic of all those things that Tails kept trying to show him in the microscopes and stuff. What were they? Bacteria or something like that…

He got up, and started walking around. He waved to some of the things as he walked by, "Hey, hey, how you doing today." Nothing was said back to him… Well, he guessed that this wasn't like all the stories where people visited microscopic worlds where you go and have adventures and stuff…

"Greetings, sir! How do you do?"

… Or maybe it was.

The hedgehog turned to see another of those germs, "Hey! How's the weather down here?"

The germ looked at him oddly, then grabbed at Sonic's legs, trying to rip them off.

"Hey! What the heck!?" Sonic kicked the thing, and backed away.

"I'm sorry, good sir, did I misunderstand?"

"Misunderstand what!?"

"Well, you seem quite ready to be dismembered, and eaten. I suppose you're younger than you seem…"

"… Why on Mobius would I let you eat me!?"

"Oh, ha. Ha ha ha. You are funny. I shall play along in this joke, quite well indeed."

"Umm…"

"Yes, quite! Ahem. We tear each other apart and eat each other all the time down here! You forgot? … Am I acting good quite admirably, yes?"

Sonic's eye twitched. He ran away from this horror show. He dared a glance back, to see another germ tearing apart the one he was talking to. The one he spoke to was saying, "Well. Of course. Quite indeedily." As he was ripped apart, innards spilling…

Sonic retched, but kept his lunch. What the hell?

As he ran, more and more germs were being ripped apart by each other, and more and more appeared from nowhere to continue the cycle. There was no end to the horror.

A germ jumped on Sonic's back, and said, "Run!"

He was scared of it, but kept going. "What is this horrible place!?"

The germ said, "Kettland! Just another city at the bottom of the kettle, now keep running!"

"Who are you?"

"What?"

"Who are you! Like a name or something!"

"… What's a name?"

Sonic groaned, and said, "Okay. So my name is Sonic!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means you call me Sonic! Like, if you wanted to talk to me, you say, 'Hey Sonic!' and I would respond! It's what people call me."

"Ohh… Um. I don't get it, and I don't have one anyway…"

"Well, I'll think of something for you then…"

Tails was bawling by the sink, mourning the loss of his favorite subject. "What will I perform x-ray analysis on now?..."

Amy patted his back, "Cheer up, Tails! I'll make you some tea!" She reached for a rusty tea kettle…

Author's Note:

Update! April the 2nd:

On April 1st, here in America, I published this, the first chapter, under a different title, summary... even a different cover image.

This is because, here in America at least, I get to relish in April Fools. The first day of April is good and ripe for pranking, and it's all in good fun.

Anyway, to actually talk about the story now.

This was inspired entirely by conversations I had over at this forum. So, we've got Sonic shrinking down to microscopic size, to meet zoorganisms that tear each other apart and eat up the remains in an endless cycle. And we have to one germ on his back that so far, hasn't tried to eat him.

And Amy is going to make tea! AKA flood Kettland and boil it, destroying Sonic and everything down there!

I'll have to update eventually, just don't expect it anytime soon. I've taken a long enough break from Reactivity Factor, and I need to update that story again again.

Sincerely,

UpontheThrone