The cave on the egde of the digital forest was dark, cold, and empty, spare for a blonde kid and his Digimon.
I was the said blonde kid. I shivered and drew closer to the wall. Bad move. It was almost as cold as my flesh. Almost.
I glanced over at my Digimon, Gabumon. He must be colder than I was. The digital monster that looked half wolf, half dinosaur was curled up in a tight ball and sleeping soundly. He seemed to be oblivious to the cold, at least for the moment.
*Good,* I thought, drawing my knees closer to my body in an attempt to get a little warmer. *He really...doesn't deserve this. I should...*
I immeadiately shut out any of -those- type of thoughts. I could make it on my own. Of course I could. I was beautiful alone. There was Gabumon...but Gabumon was...
...NOT a friend. A Digimon. Yes, a Digimon. I was fine on my own.
I needed some time to get my head together, I really did. This whole thing was slowly tearing me apart. So I went away. I left Mimi, Sora, Izzy, Joe, my little brother...TK...and Tai.
Tai...I'm sure he's mad pissed at me. But, he's like...I don't know. He thinks ANY problem can be solved by running and throwing Agumon at it. He hardly ever gets down or miserable--angry, yeah, I've been on the receiving end of that anger more than once--but I bet he never feels so mixed up inside that he has to run away!!
I felt bad about it...I felt like a little brat. But, there was nothing else I could do. I could stay, and explode, or go and cool my head for a bit. And if Tai couldn't identify with me, then he had no right to get angry.
*Dammit!* I thought. *Stupid jerk's not even -here- and he's bugging me!*
I blinked. The tears had crept into my eyes without my noticing. I brushed them away hurriedly, but more built up and trickled down my cheeks. Then my shoulders bagan shaking and I was -crying-.
I curled up in a little ball and crept closer to Gabumon. I just needed...a moment's peace. Just a few moments of
sleep...would do me good. I layed my head on his midsection, and cried softly until sleep overtook me.
*
I woke up perhaps an hour later, rubbing my stinging eyes. I hate crying--not only 'cause it's stupid, but 'cause it hurts my eyes like all get-out later. I sat up, yawning hugely, and what I saw shocked the life out of me.
Tai was sitting perhaps five feet away from me, staring at me.
"Hello, Yamato," he said coolly.
I felt rather uncomfortable. "H-hello...Taichi."
He stood up, burning with an anger I had never seen before. Quiet, un-Tailike anger. Believe me, if he's pissed off at
something, the whole world knows it, courtesy of his big mouth.
He paced across the cave, his hands in his pockets, that silent rage still in his body language.
"Nice place here--isn't it a little cold?"
"Yeah..."
He smirked. "Serves you right."
"Hey," I snapped, standing up. "You think you can just show up here and tell me what to do?"
Tai reached the end of his fuse. His dark eyes raged with anger and his face contorted.
"No, you self-absorbed moron, but I -can- tell you what you've -done-!!"
"What I've done?!"
"Yes, what you've done!! One, you left us!! ALONE!!"
"You don't need someone like me dragging you down," I muttered, turning away from him.
"Oh, that's bullcrap, Matt, and you know it!! We all need you!! You're PART OF THE TEAM!! And if you don't think so, well, think of GABUMON!! He's part of the team, and the rest of the 'Mon need him!!"
I stopped. I hadn't thought about that. "Tai--"
"And your little brother--"
I whirled around, anger clouding my thoughts. "Don't you DARE use TK in this, you jerk! Don't you DARE!! Besides, he's more of a 'kid I'm related to' than a brother! I barely know him."
Tai scowled, shaking with anger. We were now nose-to-nose. "That's a PATHETIC EXCUSE!!" he screamed. "Whether you know him or not, HE NEEDS YOU!! HE NEEDS HIS BIG BROTHER!!"
"I'm NOT his big brother!! I don't know how!!"
"If you stopped thinking about Matt Matt Matt you WOULD!"
"SHUT UP!!" I screamed, willing the lump in my throat to disappear.
Tai's eyes narrowed. "Fine. I'll shut up. But there's one thing I want you to know."
I blinked. "...what?"
He raised his fist and punched me in the jaw. "THAT was for being such a selfish pig, and--" he punched me again "--THAT was for abandoning us."
The last blow sent me sprawling on the floor. I sat up, rubbing my aching jaw, and desperatly tried not to start bawling again. I spit something foul-tasting out of my mouth. Blood...and a tooth!! He'd knocked it out! I wanted to punch him, to cuss him out, to let him know in physical pain how I felt mentally. But I couldn't. I just felt so tired...so tired of it all. Miserably, I tried to compose myself.
"Son of a bitch," I said, the words becoming a rushed sob.
Tai was staring at the blood and the tooth and his still-clenched fist with wide eyes. "I...I'm sorry, Matt...I didn't mean to hit you...I guess I lost control..."
I bit my lip, my jaw hurting and my soul hurting and my head throbbing. "Get out."
"But--"
"Go AWAY, leave me ALONE!!" I burst into tears, crying like a baby. That only made me feel worse for being such an idiot and bawling in front of him, and I cried harder. I put my head on my knees and hugged my legs to my chest, hiccuping, trying to stop, hoping that Tai would just disappear.
I tried to stop blubbering for about a minute and a half, when I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder.
"Matt." It was Tai.
"I told you to go away."
"...I don't want to leave you...so sad."
"I'm NOT sad. I'm just...I don't know," I snapped gruffly. "It's just some stupid reaction thing."
"Matt, I'm sorry about hitting you. I guess I just lost my temper and probably my mind. I didn't know you were hurting so bad."
"I'm not hur--" I stopped and looked at him, feeling some sort of angry bewilderment take me over. "You DIDN'T KNOW? I run away, take my Gabumon, you find me curled up in a cave, and you DIDN'T KNOW? Are you dense?"
Tai looked pained. It was true...he was oblivious to some of the most obvious things in the world. Ironically, the characters used to write his name mean "thick one".
He laughed, but without humour. "I guess I was. You know, it was Sora who convinced me to go look for you. She said you were in a pretty bad way, but I thought you were being your regular jerk self."
"But--"
He shushed me. "Let me finish, 'kay?"
"...'kay."
"I can't tell, Matt. I'm not like Sora--you know she's empathetic and knows how people feel. Well, I'm not--" he broke into a wry grin "--I'm Tai. If I can't run at a problem, I more than likely can't solve it. So I look at you, and I see cold, moody Matt. It wasn't until now, with you crying--"
"I was NOT crying."
"--that I finally knew." He put his hand over mine. "So...I want to say I'm sorry. Oh, I'm still pissed at you for leaving, and I'm not going to take anything that I said back, but I'm sorry I didn't see...that you were a human."
I looked into his coffee-coloured eyes and saw sincerity. Odd that. It was time to swallow my pride, and I knew it.
"I'm sorry too...for everything...that I've done. It's just that it...it..." I felt the tightness in my throat again and blinked back the tears furiously.
Tai brushed his fingers against my lips. "Shhh...I know. It's okay, Matt."
I shivered from his touch. Why? I don't know...
"You...promise...?"
He laughed lightly, brushing a lock of my hair out of my eyes. "I promise. Oh...Matt?"
"Yes?" I whispered, my heart turning over with an uncomfortable thump. Tai...was...making me feel like this?! No way!! He was a boy!! This just wasn't possible!! He...he...I...
*...love him. I always did.*
No!! Of course I didn't!! It was impossible!! He didn't understand!! Well, he used to not understand...I just...
"Has anyone told you that you have beautiful eyes?" Tai asked, his voice gentle and his smile genuine. He took a lock of my hair in his fingers and brushed it away from my face again. He seemed to enjoy that...
"No..." I said in a choked, shocked whisper. "Never...no one's
ever..."
"You have beautiful eyes, then," he smiled warmly, and then put his face close to mine, his hand on my cheek. My heart began to pound. There was a moment where we sat very still, breathing the same sweet air, and then his soft lips brushed my cold ones, giving me warmth. I murmured, and closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around his waist, surrendering to his embrace.
It was over a thousand years later. Or, at least, that's what it felt like. The gentlest kiss...my first kiss. From the -boy- who was the thorn in my side...well...now, the pain from the thorn had ebbed.
"A...anou..."
Tai giggled. "Surprised?"
I spluttered for a few moments, then found my tongue. "Pleasantly."
Tai drew back, smiling. "I liked that..."
"Me too...
We were silent for a few moments. Tai leaned back against the wall of the cave, a strange smile on his face. I noticed his hand was still in mine. I blushed furiously, but then felt a warm, safe feeling flow through me when I looked at his face...his beautiful face.
"Tai?"
"Yeah?"
"I...I think...I love you."
He giggled again, kissing my forehead. "I love you, too, Matt," he stood up. "Now...I'll get going."
I stood up slowly. "I guess I'll have to face the others sooner or--"
"I didn't say -you- should get going."
"Whazzat?" I said, blinking.
"You still need some time alone. Shh, don't say anything--" he kissed me gently when I protested, holding me close. "--you need it. I know. Come back when you're ready. We'll be waiting."
I pressed my face into the crook of his neck. "I don't want you to go."
"I know, but SOMEONE has to keep the rest of those goobers in check."
I laughed. "Well, since you put it that way..."
He nodded, flashing his classic grin. "See ya soon...Yamato."
"Catch you later...Taichi."
And he walked away, leaving a real, pure smile on my face.
*
Gabumon had watched the whole thing through half-lidded eyes, a smile on his own face.
"Congratulations, Matt," he whispered so the boy standing near the entrance to the cave couldn't hear him. "Finally...there's something that can keep you warm."
"Yamato wa tereyana no sa! Atsui kimochi ore ni wa wakaru."
"Yamato, you're just embarassed! I know all about passionate feelings."
-------
[notes]
The quote at the end comes from "Shinka -de- Guts!!", a song sung by all the Digimon.
"...can be solved by running and throwing Agumon at it" quote comes from Tai's profile at the Lost Temple of Ishida: http://smooth.as/yamato
I was the said blonde kid. I shivered and drew closer to the wall. Bad move. It was almost as cold as my flesh. Almost.
I glanced over at my Digimon, Gabumon. He must be colder than I was. The digital monster that looked half wolf, half dinosaur was curled up in a tight ball and sleeping soundly. He seemed to be oblivious to the cold, at least for the moment.
*Good,* I thought, drawing my knees closer to my body in an attempt to get a little warmer. *He really...doesn't deserve this. I should...*
I immeadiately shut out any of -those- type of thoughts. I could make it on my own. Of course I could. I was beautiful alone. There was Gabumon...but Gabumon was...
...NOT a friend. A Digimon. Yes, a Digimon. I was fine on my own.
I needed some time to get my head together, I really did. This whole thing was slowly tearing me apart. So I went away. I left Mimi, Sora, Izzy, Joe, my little brother...TK...and Tai.
Tai...I'm sure he's mad pissed at me. But, he's like...I don't know. He thinks ANY problem can be solved by running and throwing Agumon at it. He hardly ever gets down or miserable--angry, yeah, I've been on the receiving end of that anger more than once--but I bet he never feels so mixed up inside that he has to run away!!
I felt bad about it...I felt like a little brat. But, there was nothing else I could do. I could stay, and explode, or go and cool my head for a bit. And if Tai couldn't identify with me, then he had no right to get angry.
*Dammit!* I thought. *Stupid jerk's not even -here- and he's bugging me!*
I blinked. The tears had crept into my eyes without my noticing. I brushed them away hurriedly, but more built up and trickled down my cheeks. Then my shoulders bagan shaking and I was -crying-.
I curled up in a little ball and crept closer to Gabumon. I just needed...a moment's peace. Just a few moments of
sleep...would do me good. I layed my head on his midsection, and cried softly until sleep overtook me.
*
I woke up perhaps an hour later, rubbing my stinging eyes. I hate crying--not only 'cause it's stupid, but 'cause it hurts my eyes like all get-out later. I sat up, yawning hugely, and what I saw shocked the life out of me.
Tai was sitting perhaps five feet away from me, staring at me.
"Hello, Yamato," he said coolly.
I felt rather uncomfortable. "H-hello...Taichi."
He stood up, burning with an anger I had never seen before. Quiet, un-Tailike anger. Believe me, if he's pissed off at
something, the whole world knows it, courtesy of his big mouth.
He paced across the cave, his hands in his pockets, that silent rage still in his body language.
"Nice place here--isn't it a little cold?"
"Yeah..."
He smirked. "Serves you right."
"Hey," I snapped, standing up. "You think you can just show up here and tell me what to do?"
Tai reached the end of his fuse. His dark eyes raged with anger and his face contorted.
"No, you self-absorbed moron, but I -can- tell you what you've -done-!!"
"What I've done?!"
"Yes, what you've done!! One, you left us!! ALONE!!"
"You don't need someone like me dragging you down," I muttered, turning away from him.
"Oh, that's bullcrap, Matt, and you know it!! We all need you!! You're PART OF THE TEAM!! And if you don't think so, well, think of GABUMON!! He's part of the team, and the rest of the 'Mon need him!!"
I stopped. I hadn't thought about that. "Tai--"
"And your little brother--"
I whirled around, anger clouding my thoughts. "Don't you DARE use TK in this, you jerk! Don't you DARE!! Besides, he's more of a 'kid I'm related to' than a brother! I barely know him."
Tai scowled, shaking with anger. We were now nose-to-nose. "That's a PATHETIC EXCUSE!!" he screamed. "Whether you know him or not, HE NEEDS YOU!! HE NEEDS HIS BIG BROTHER!!"
"I'm NOT his big brother!! I don't know how!!"
"If you stopped thinking about Matt Matt Matt you WOULD!"
"SHUT UP!!" I screamed, willing the lump in my throat to disappear.
Tai's eyes narrowed. "Fine. I'll shut up. But there's one thing I want you to know."
I blinked. "...what?"
He raised his fist and punched me in the jaw. "THAT was for being such a selfish pig, and--" he punched me again "--THAT was for abandoning us."
The last blow sent me sprawling on the floor. I sat up, rubbing my aching jaw, and desperatly tried not to start bawling again. I spit something foul-tasting out of my mouth. Blood...and a tooth!! He'd knocked it out! I wanted to punch him, to cuss him out, to let him know in physical pain how I felt mentally. But I couldn't. I just felt so tired...so tired of it all. Miserably, I tried to compose myself.
"Son of a bitch," I said, the words becoming a rushed sob.
Tai was staring at the blood and the tooth and his still-clenched fist with wide eyes. "I...I'm sorry, Matt...I didn't mean to hit you...I guess I lost control..."
I bit my lip, my jaw hurting and my soul hurting and my head throbbing. "Get out."
"But--"
"Go AWAY, leave me ALONE!!" I burst into tears, crying like a baby. That only made me feel worse for being such an idiot and bawling in front of him, and I cried harder. I put my head on my knees and hugged my legs to my chest, hiccuping, trying to stop, hoping that Tai would just disappear.
I tried to stop blubbering for about a minute and a half, when I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder.
"Matt." It was Tai.
"I told you to go away."
"...I don't want to leave you...so sad."
"I'm NOT sad. I'm just...I don't know," I snapped gruffly. "It's just some stupid reaction thing."
"Matt, I'm sorry about hitting you. I guess I just lost my temper and probably my mind. I didn't know you were hurting so bad."
"I'm not hur--" I stopped and looked at him, feeling some sort of angry bewilderment take me over. "You DIDN'T KNOW? I run away, take my Gabumon, you find me curled up in a cave, and you DIDN'T KNOW? Are you dense?"
Tai looked pained. It was true...he was oblivious to some of the most obvious things in the world. Ironically, the characters used to write his name mean "thick one".
He laughed, but without humour. "I guess I was. You know, it was Sora who convinced me to go look for you. She said you were in a pretty bad way, but I thought you were being your regular jerk self."
"But--"
He shushed me. "Let me finish, 'kay?"
"...'kay."
"I can't tell, Matt. I'm not like Sora--you know she's empathetic and knows how people feel. Well, I'm not--" he broke into a wry grin "--I'm Tai. If I can't run at a problem, I more than likely can't solve it. So I look at you, and I see cold, moody Matt. It wasn't until now, with you crying--"
"I was NOT crying."
"--that I finally knew." He put his hand over mine. "So...I want to say I'm sorry. Oh, I'm still pissed at you for leaving, and I'm not going to take anything that I said back, but I'm sorry I didn't see...that you were a human."
I looked into his coffee-coloured eyes and saw sincerity. Odd that. It was time to swallow my pride, and I knew it.
"I'm sorry too...for everything...that I've done. It's just that it...it..." I felt the tightness in my throat again and blinked back the tears furiously.
Tai brushed his fingers against my lips. "Shhh...I know. It's okay, Matt."
I shivered from his touch. Why? I don't know...
"You...promise...?"
He laughed lightly, brushing a lock of my hair out of my eyes. "I promise. Oh...Matt?"
"Yes?" I whispered, my heart turning over with an uncomfortable thump. Tai...was...making me feel like this?! No way!! He was a boy!! This just wasn't possible!! He...he...I...
*...love him. I always did.*
No!! Of course I didn't!! It was impossible!! He didn't understand!! Well, he used to not understand...I just...
"Has anyone told you that you have beautiful eyes?" Tai asked, his voice gentle and his smile genuine. He took a lock of my hair in his fingers and brushed it away from my face again. He seemed to enjoy that...
"No..." I said in a choked, shocked whisper. "Never...no one's
ever..."
"You have beautiful eyes, then," he smiled warmly, and then put his face close to mine, his hand on my cheek. My heart began to pound. There was a moment where we sat very still, breathing the same sweet air, and then his soft lips brushed my cold ones, giving me warmth. I murmured, and closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around his waist, surrendering to his embrace.
It was over a thousand years later. Or, at least, that's what it felt like. The gentlest kiss...my first kiss. From the -boy- who was the thorn in my side...well...now, the pain from the thorn had ebbed.
"A...anou..."
Tai giggled. "Surprised?"
I spluttered for a few moments, then found my tongue. "Pleasantly."
Tai drew back, smiling. "I liked that..."
"Me too...
We were silent for a few moments. Tai leaned back against the wall of the cave, a strange smile on his face. I noticed his hand was still in mine. I blushed furiously, but then felt a warm, safe feeling flow through me when I looked at his face...his beautiful face.
"Tai?"
"Yeah?"
"I...I think...I love you."
He giggled again, kissing my forehead. "I love you, too, Matt," he stood up. "Now...I'll get going."
I stood up slowly. "I guess I'll have to face the others sooner or--"
"I didn't say -you- should get going."
"Whazzat?" I said, blinking.
"You still need some time alone. Shh, don't say anything--" he kissed me gently when I protested, holding me close. "--you need it. I know. Come back when you're ready. We'll be waiting."
I pressed my face into the crook of his neck. "I don't want you to go."
"I know, but SOMEONE has to keep the rest of those goobers in check."
I laughed. "Well, since you put it that way..."
He nodded, flashing his classic grin. "See ya soon...Yamato."
"Catch you later...Taichi."
And he walked away, leaving a real, pure smile on my face.
*
Gabumon had watched the whole thing through half-lidded eyes, a smile on his own face.
"Congratulations, Matt," he whispered so the boy standing near the entrance to the cave couldn't hear him. "Finally...there's something that can keep you warm."
"Yamato wa tereyana no sa! Atsui kimochi ore ni wa wakaru."
"Yamato, you're just embarassed! I know all about passionate feelings."
-------
[notes]
The quote at the end comes from "Shinka -de- Guts!!", a song sung by all the Digimon.
"...can be solved by running and throwing Agumon at it" quote comes from Tai's profile at the Lost Temple of Ishida: http://smooth.as/yamato