As ever, none of the characters mentioned or not mentioned belong to me in any way. Be very glad.

Intro.

As the late Sixth Hokage, Uzumaki Naruto's effects were being removed from his retirement home, a stack of papers were found shoved under the leg of the kitchen table to stop it from wobbling. Closer examination revealed them to be letters, although no one knows who wrote them, or to whom they were sent. Presumably the 'Kakasi' frequently referred to is the famous Sharingan Hatake Kakashi, but there was no one in any of the village records of any importance called Iruka. Historians are still pouring over them, but admit that we may never know.

Hey there,

Hope this finds you as safe as it leaves me. Everything is still very tense around here. Snake breath has been beaten back for now but there's a lingering sense of danger from all sides, so everyone is still pretty jumpy. Well everyone except Kakashi, now that he's finally came back to me, exhausted and weak as a kitten. But I'm starting to get used to that.

Two weeks later he claims that he still doesn't have the energy to get out of bed before noon (although he has no trouble pulling me in with him). Between you and me I think he's faking at least half of it. True he is still flashing back to Itachi's eye jutsu once in a while. I can tell because he puts his hand over his eye and gets very pale and shaky. Well paler anyway. When I ask what's wrong he just shakes his head and says he's fine, so I know he's lying. When he wilts elegantly on the couch and starts talking all whispery and croaky and asks if he can rest his head on my lap, then I know it's okay to go out and leave him on his own all day.

I think I've finally worked out what makes these jounins so crazy, it's all the time they spend in each other's company. I swear I can feel a few more of my brain cells committing suicide each time I try to start up a conversation with him. All I asked for was some advice in evacuating the kids more efficiently, since he's a bit older, and a lot more experienced, and this genius of strategy and everything. He just laughed and said they'd be fine. Then he asked if I knew we were almost out of milk?

WTF? Almost out of milk! The tragedy! How could the poor dear possibly get through the day? I could feel the tears of sorrow starting to prickle at the back of my little eyeballs. Here I am worrying about protecting a school full of mininins, spoiling for the chance to put into practice everything they've been learning for the past few years and rip the enemies throats out, when my poor darling might run out of milk.

I pointed out as sweetly as I could, while cramming the veins back into my forehead, that if the worst came to it he might just have to consider drinking water with his cookies.

Then the damn brat had the nerve to say that he was relieved that at least he didn't have all those kids to worry about anymore. ALLTHOSE KIDS! He had a team of three, count them, one two three. We lost several good teachers during the attack, and there are still quite a few out on medical leave, and trust me, I know I'm lucky to have got off as easily as I did. But still, the net result is that classes are doubled up, tripled for some of us more experienced teachers. I had fifty seven kids squeezed into my classroom today. Fifty seven and he's still whining about how hard it was to teach three!

At least he had the decency to blush when he realized who he was complaining to. So he said I looked really tired and that I was overdoing it, and that some air would do him good. So he dragged himself of the couch and went out to the market to get milk.

Well of course he had a flashback and passed out in the dairy aisle. I know because twenty minutes later, just as I had started to relax a bit with the help of a glass of wine, there was a knock at the door. Gai stood there with my life's partner draped over his shoulder like an oversized fashion accessory. Luckily he'd been in the market and seen him go down, and knows the situation well enough to bring him back here rather than take him to the hospital. Otherwise I'd be riddled with even more guilt than I am now.

So I begged Gai to stay with him while I trekked all the way across town to get his favourite organic unpasturised milk from the health food store. I know it's just his imagination but he swears he can taste the difference.

Gai left a little while ago and I'm writing this while waiting for Kakashi to come around so I can serve him a glass of warm milk and a bathtubful of contrition.

Yours, counting my blessings and then some,

Iruka.