Disclaimer: If I owned this legally I'd have the moneyz and the super brain to go with it. Alas, I have neither. And suing me for writing fanfiction won't really do much since all I have to my name is a couple bucks in the bank. So no, I don't own.
I was watching Split Decisions and I felt the need to write this. I seem to have the pathological need to mentally end walk-away's or apologies with angry confrontations first and walk-away's or apologies later. But I'm angry person(not really, I think I mostly talk a lot of bs) and needed to spread my angry thoughts. Sorry for any inconsistencies or oocness or bad writing. Feel free to tell me what's good or bad.
Tony DiNozzo rummaged through his desk drawer in a contemplative funk. He hoped this wasn't going to start being a thing. The sassy, hot women he had met on the job lately were crazy, criminals or friend murdering not-female bitches. Kate was nice and pretty, but her jibes about the kiss he had with the friend murdering transsexual were really starting to wear on his nerves.
It's not like he had a problem with the 'she being a he'. Nope. College, a couple drinks and some really adventurous parties kind of broke down that barrier. It helped that he always found both genders attractive anyway. Either way, NCIS was still a militaristic agency and would more likely than not be unhappy with his regaling of exploits with both sexes.
Despite what Kate might think, he was picky. Men and women fell for his charms, sure, but he didn't always feel up to a random fling every weekend. He had a job that took up most of his time, after all.
"I really liked her." Tony lamented aloud.
"An ATF agent involved in illegal weapons and murder." He could hear the scoff in Kate's voice from the desk across from him. "What's not to like?"
"So quick to judge, Kate." Tony closed the desk drawer he was rummaging through. "Sure, she has flaws. Sure, she's going to prison." He rounded his desk, sitting on the edge. "But my... instincts told me she had good qualities as well." He sighed in his head, not wanting Kate to see his full disappointment. What was it with blondes lately?
"Two of them wouldn't happen to live under her shirt, would they?" She threw at him with a flash of teeth. She wasn't holding back. Women always thought it was about boobs. Maybe seventy-five percent of it was about boobs. Okay, eighty-five. But it wasn't always about the boobs.
Tony let out a dry chuckle. "You're not gonna believe this, but uh... when it comes to women, I actually look for more... complex things under the surface." And men, because you know, men don't have boobs. He actually happened to like eyes more than chest. Beautiful blue- and that totally wasn't the conversation they were having right now.
Kate stared up at Tony, disbelief clearly written on her face. "Really?"
"Really." Tony replied, pushing away mental images of certain blues eyes, giving Kate his most earnest -definitely not challenging- face.
"Like when you were tonguing that he-she a week ago. Lots of complex things under that surface." Of course she would go right for that, just like a shark to blood. He made passes at a lot of beautiful women he met on the job. So what? He was a healthy red-blooded male, he knew attractive when he saw it. He also knew uninterested when he saw it. The flirting he did with Kate was just to get a rise out of her. She was pretty, but he wasn't into the whole 'I'm not interested at all, but I like to go for your balls because I apparently have issues with you that comes off as me pretending I'm your wife'. He liked his balls just as they were, thank you.
This was ridiculous. He was hurting over Pacci's death just as much as she was. The guy was a good friend and made the job that little bit easier when a case was really crunching down over their heads. Tony let all emotion drain from his face, jaw clenched. He leaned forward over the clutter on Kate's desk.
"I know you're still hurting, I am too." Kate sat up, opening her mouth and he held up a finger in response. "For the record-" He slammed his fist back on her desk, startling her. "-sticking my tongue down my friend's killer's throat is not my idea of a good time. Yes, it happened. No, I'm not proud of it. But we got him in the end, didn't we?"
His eyes flicked up to notice Gibbs, who was just stepping out of the elevator with his coffee, then back to Kate. "And if you're trying to get me for the guy thing?" He growled lowly, straightening up. "You're over a decade too late."
He grabbed Gibbs' wrist as the headslap he came by to deliver before it connected. He turned to look at his boss, registering the shock mixed with... concern? He knows the headslap was most likely to break him out of his mood, as a lot of them were, but he's too worked up for that. He gave himself a mental shake and looked Gibbs in the eye. "Not today, Gibbs." Tony turned back to Kate, taking grim satisfaction in the shock on her face from his gesture and words.
"I gotta go." He pushed around Gibbs and grabbed his pack, heading for the elevator.
"What did you do?" Gibbs asked Kate, who sat in her chair stunned and gaping. Gibbs gave a cursory glance to his computer and let out a frustrated breath. "Go home, Kate." He ordered as he turned and headed for the elevator Tony was getting on. Gibbs stuck his arm to keep the elevator from closing and stepped on next to Tony. He could almost hear the creak in Tony's jaw as it clenched harder.
They stood in silence as the elevator descended until Gibbs flicked the emergency switch and turned to stare at Tony, who was glaring determinedly at a spot on the mirrored elevator wall.
After a couple long moments, Tony broke the silence and turned to the other man. "I'm not in the mood, Gibbs." Gibbs simply stared at him. Tony stared back, eventually breaking under the other man's unwavering gaze. Tony glanced at the emergency switch, but stopped when he looked back to Gibbs and a raised eyebrow.
Tony ran a hand through his hair and crossed him arms, moving his gaze to the floor. "Look, Kate's been needling me about the thing with the he-she and I kind of snapped. I don't care what he was. Pacci was my friend too and I don't exactly like being reminded that I had that sicko's tongue in my mouth." Tony's entire body seemed to sag with the weight of this confession to Gibbs. "Sorry, boss. Won't do it again, boss."
Gibbs stared for an uncomfortable moment longer, then gave Tony a light slap to the back of his head. Tony glanced up at the other man, startled. Gibbs stared at the face in front of him for a moment, then turned away from Tony and flicked the emergency switch back. "You grab beer. I'll order pizza. You want anything special on it?" He said to Tony as he exited the elevator before the other man, heading for his car.
Tony stopped when he registered Gibbs' words fully and watched him go, flabbergasted. "Wha- boss? Beer for what?"
"Get with the times, DiNozzo. Buy some beer and bring it to my house."
"Ye- wha- okay, boss!" Tony called back as Gibbs got in his car and sped away. Tony stood half elated and half uncertain about what was going on. What a weird night this was shaping out to be.
I know it probably seems kind of cliffhanger-y. Sorry about that, but let me know if you think there's a need for it to be continued. Either way, I hope you enjoyed it.