This is just a one-shot about Leah after Sam left her for Emily and her reaction, thoughts, etc…
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
"A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses."
There's something about watching the one you love turn away and love another. It changes you, not just the way you act but a bone-deep chemistry change. Your entire thought-process rearranges. Your heart takes on a different beat. Your view on life, love and, most of all, loss is altered into something completely foreign. And then you are on a very slippery slope. It's like walking on a wire, your will either retain your careful steadiness or topple over and fall into the wide ocean of acidic misery waiting below.
I never did have great balance.
"Good morning Leah," my mother greets me warily. She eyes my blood-shot eyes, taking note of the dark shadows beneath.
I sniffle and say the same back to her. I'm in no mood for talking.
"How'd you sleep, honey?" Mom gently leads me to the leather couch with a light hand against my back. I don't have the energy to push her away.
"Fine." The word is curt and harsh, sour on my tongue. I don't like hearing the bitter edge in my voice but I fear it's permanent.
"Leah," Mom sighs deeply before continuing, "Sam will realize how stupid he's being and come running back to you in no time. It's only been a week, Lee-Lee, and he's probable just on his man-period or something!" Mom is trying to be funny, trying to cheer me up. I force a weak smile but even I know how insincere it looks. Besides, I've never been able to fool my mom.
"Mom, I saw him yesterday. Down at First Beach and he was …" The sentence gets stuck in my throat and my vision goes bleary as tears start to form. A soft sob shakes me and I swallow hard. "Mom, he was with Emily."
And suddenly, I can see them clear as day. Sam taking her pretty face in his hands and abruptly their lips connect, Emily looking shocked and angry at first but giving in after seconds. They were standing at the waters edge, only their feet getting wet. It was a soft kiss, surprisingly gentle and sweet. I couldn't deny the innocence of the kiss, like it wasn't a kiss at all, but a kind reminder of his adoration for her. I couldn't tear my eyes away from my ex-boyfriend and cousin. It seemed like eternity before their lips parted, only and inch, and they just stood like that staring at each other. I couldn't remember a time when Sam looked at me like that. Of course, he has looked at me like I was the absolute best, like he really did love me but not like this. Who knew the man could be such a great actor? He really didn't look like he was acting this time though.
I sneak a quick glance at Moms face. She's gaping at me, just as appalled at I was.
"Leah … are you sure?"
I don't trust my voice so I merely nod once. My chest feels tight, my palms are sweaty, and my stomach aches.
"Oh," Mom breathes, "well, that is just outrageous. Emily even told you she didn't like Sam last time she visited. I just … this is so unlike her and…" Moms' voice trails off, shaking her head and wrapping a thin arm around my shaking shoulders.
"I'm going to take a shower." My voice cracks and wavers around the unforgiving sobs. I race down our short hallway to the bathroom, not hearing my moms reply if she gave one.
In the shower I let everything attack me at once. Emily's betrayal, Sam's abandonment, the gapping hole in my chest…
I put the water all the way on hot and let it burn my exposed flesh. The physical pain is easier to focus on then the emotional suffering. But the hot water escapes me all too soon, being replaced with freezing cold water. The exchange reminds me of my love-life. It was burning hot, a bright fiery Sun shining light on Sam and me, and now the Sun has been chased away and only a cold, wet rock remains.
I step out of the shower and examine myself in the small bathroom mirror. Blood-shot tired eyes glare back at me. Black hair sticks to my skin in thick, wet ropes. I can't bring myself to continue looking at me, my face and Emily's face … just too much alike.
Wrapping a towel around myself I trudge to my bedroom and climb in under the warm purple blanket on my bed. My hair soaks the pillow almost immediately so I toss it across the room and pull the blanket over my head. Sleep does not invite me so I lay there and imagine myself in a glass coffin with spider web cracks and splinters all across it. And deep within me, I know that all it takes is a small tap and the glass with shatter all around me and fall in slicing me everywhere.
Whoever though I would end up the broken one?