Dear Neighbor
by Diana-san
Sakura came home one day to a note on her door. She would have ignored it as just more spam mail from the new pizza shop down the street or some sort of flyer asking for donations if it weren't for the abnormally large drawing on the front. She shuffled some of her grocery bags to one hand as she yanked the paper off the door.
Dear Neighbor,
Your dogs are being too loud. By the way, did you know our apartment building prohibits pets?
Thanks,
Apt 23
She wanted to comment on how terrible the drawing of a barking dog underneath the 'No Pets Allowed' sign was but Apt 23′s owner had a somewhat gifted talent for art. Still, she crumpled up the note as she muttered underneath her breath, "Asshole."
Given the situation, she should be panicking about her neighbor ratting her out to the landlord and technically, she would be if it was Apt 20 or even Apt 21. But Apt 23 was an exception. She already had some grievances about Apt 23 and receiving a slightly passive-aggressive note from whoever it was only made her angrier.
She turned the key to the door of Apt 22 as she kicked the door open and dragged her groceries inside. Slamming the door, she dropped the rest of her things on the floor as she un-crumpled the note and turned it around to the back side.
Dear Neighbor,
Did you also know that our apartment building also prohibits the use of illegal substances? In fact, our current country's laws has a nice little five year sentence with some additional hard labor thrown in for good measure. I did a little light reading online last night when I was enjoying the nice night out and breathing in your wonderful herbal cooking.
Sincerely,
Apt 22
Sakura grinned as an evil smile broke out on her face. Drawing furiously, she used the four years of college art classes she took as she drew herself on the balcony with her two dogs. She made sure to highlight the smells coming out of the balcony of Apt 23. Reveling in her masterpiece, she walked back out to the hallway as she slapped the note on the door of Apt 23.
She had imagined that to be the end of that. After all, five years of prison should be a hefty threat. Imagine her surprise when she comes home after work to find another note on her door.
Dear Neighbor,
I'll be sure to tell my friend that you sincerely despise his cooking. Sorry to say that I was out for a few days and he was house-sitting my plants. Make that 'plant' since my bonsai tree is now missing. And you know what else I'm missing? The sound of silence. Especially at 5 am when your dogs begin to yap like hyenas.
Regards,
Apt 23
Sakura didn't even want to comment on the new drawing this time. "Well hyenas are a lot nicer than you, jerkwad…"
Dear Neighbor,
Your friend probably tried to smoke your bonsai tree. Regardless of whether it is you or your friend, each tenant is responsible for their apartment guests.
Best,
Apt 22
There was no reply the next day and Sakura was sure that she had finally won the battle of the neighbors. That was until later that night when she saw a note taped to her pizza delivery box.
Dear Neighbor,
You must have been in the shower when the pizza guy came. Or maybe you couldn't hear the doorbell over the loud yapping of your dogs. Regardless, I ended up paying for your pizza because I am a nice guy. Why do you have corn on top of your pizza?
Your drawing of a grotesquely buff macho man with a tiny baseball cap sent a clear message. Strange, I had you down as a petite, young female. But regardless if you are twice my size or half my size, seeing as you are a fan of the Konoha Leaf, shall we call a truce? We can watch the game this Saturday at my place. You can even bring your yapping dogs.
Cheers,
Apt 23
Sakura stared at the note for a really long time as she read it over again and then once more and then a fourth time to make sure she wasn't seeing things. She opened the pizza box and was surprised to find two slices also missing from her order. She looks back at the note and notices a small note underneath the drawing of a smiling lion, the mascot of the Konoha Leaf.
P.S. I ate two slices while writing this note. Never would have imagine that corn can be good on pizza. Before you send me an angry note about eating your pizza, let me remind you that I did pay for it. I will also gladly buy you a X-Large pizza on Saturday.
She didn't know why but her heart began to beat quickly as she hurried back into her apartment with the pizza in hand.
Dear Neighbor,
I'll bring the beers and the dogs.
Apt 22
P.S. Make it a XX-Large. This petite, young female can eat a lot.
She was practically running to her door the next morning to check if there was a new note. There was.
Dear Petite, Young Female Neighbor,
Did you know our landlord is a fan of Suna? Almost like half of this building is as well. If anything, I think the two of us will most likely be evicted for cheering for the rival team.
Loyally,
Apt 23 aka Tall, Devilishly Handsome Male
"Shit," Sakura said as she slumped down to the floor. Were they flirting now through their back-and-forth notes? He probably wasn't trying to but she wished he was.
She began to write on the back of his note as she sat on the floor of the hallway.
Dear Tall, Devilishly Handsome Male Neighbor,
Let's stick to more objective adjectives until I see for myself whether you can be classified as either devilish or handsome.
I never liked the landlord to begin with. No wonder this apartment complex has so many rules. We're living under a tyrant.
Love,
Her pen dawdled at signing her name down. She then gave a double-take as she stared at her writing.
"LOVE?!" she shouted. What was wrong with her? Why would she sign it with love?
"Love? A little excessive for someone you haven't even met yet, isn't it?"
Sakura is startled by the new voice as she sees a guy peering over her shoulder and reading her note.
"Can I help you?" she asked with an accusing look as she tried to cover her arms over her note.
"More like can I help you? You're sitting out in the hallway and writing me a note."
"You're the guy who lives in Apt 23?"
"You seem surprised."
Sakura was surprised. He was indeed devilishly handsome like his note said. And despite being able to craft clever little notes this past week, she was now at a complete loss for words. Thankfully, she didn't have to say anything as her two dogs came running to her with excited barks at the sight of another person.
"So these are the yapping hyenas?" Apt 23 asked as he crouched down and began to play with the dogs. There was a slight smile on his face as he held out his hand and the dogs gave him a paw in return.
"Yeah," she replied.
"Guess they're not so bad when you see them instead of hearing them through your walls all the time."
She nodded.
"Blows your mind, doesn't it?" he asked her.
"What?"
"That I am devilishly handsome, after all," he said with a smirk.
She threw her pen at him as she picked up her dogs and walked back inside her apartment.
Outside of Apt 22, Sasuke chuckled to himself as he picked up the fallen note. He walked a few steps over to his apartment as he unlocked the door while reading the rest of the note in his hand.
The next day, he found a note on his door.
Dear Neighbor,
Yes, you are.
Sakura