A Very Dante Christmas

When Ari and Dante got off the bus, they somehow hadn't expected a town decked out for Christmas. Pine trees shone like spaceships through house windows; wreaths of holly hung over the snowy, dark streets. Ari and Dante had spent six hours winding through the Canadian wilderness to stay with Dante's aunts in a surprise winter holiday.

Dante's aunts, Bella and Laura, were overjoyed to see their favourite nephew again, and they had pretty, endearing faces despite Legs trying to lick them off. Ari was taken aback when they hugged him with just as much gusto.

'You're a part of the family now, Ari,' said Auntie Bella, holding him close to her chest.

'Whether you like it or not,' Dante smirked, and gave him a wink.

The four of them drove down a forest road through the night, and Ari, eyes bleary from no sleep, was amazed by their house- a great big wooden house, with fireplaces and secret rooms. Auntie Bella and her husband had played in an orchestra that went around the world, and the house was full of horns from Switzerland, carvings from Morocco, tablecloths from Buenos Aires.

Dante yawned. Ari caught his drift and yawned too. Fifteen minutes later, they were both in their own bedroom. Ari tip-toed out of his bed and cuddled up to Dante. He smiled and let him in. They were together at last, and Dante's eyes were full of love. He kissed Ari, neck, cheek, mouth. They did that now. He finally let himself be close to Dante, feel his warm skin.

'I've missed this,' Dante said.

'Missed what?'

'Just this. Us. Being together.'

'Me too,' said Ari awkwardly.

'Sorry.'

'Sorry what?' Ari asked, propping his head up on his shoulder. A bit of Dante had grown hard against Ari's pyjamas. 'Oh.'

'Sorry again,' said Dante, smiling. And suddenly they were kissing- full on, like in the movies, kissing like fifteen-year-olds losing their virginity to a stripper, like they were on a crashing plane.

Each kiss, with Dante, felt like the first. Ari fell asleep in his arms.

They spent the next playing chess, reading books and making angels in the snow.

The second night, Ari was confronted with something they didn't have in El Paso; a million million stars. Dante was up on the roof, of course, screwing a lense cap onto his telescope. It was bitterly cold. He put a hand on his shoulder.

'Not now, Ari,' Dante said, his eyes screwed to his telescope. Something in his voice sounded wrong.

'It's cold, Dante. Let's go inside.'

'But Saturn.'

'Come on,' Ari said, and punched him on the shoulder. 'In bed, you can do anything you want.'

'Anything?' asked Dante, raising an eyebrow.

'Anything.'

'Okay. I want to draw you naked,' he said. A mischievous grin spread across his face.

'Deal.'

They packed up the telescope and went inside. In their bedroom, Ari shimmied off his jumper, pants, and boxers, and stood naked in front of Dante.

Dante was very precise. He expertly sketched out Ari's outline, shading in hair, thighs, nose and other places, cross-hatching Ari's pubes. He sat cross-legged on his bed while he worked, wearing only Star Wars boxer shorts. Ari giggled when he saw Dante sizing up his dick before drawing it.

'I need a better view,' he mumbled. He stood up in front of Ari, staring at him like he was a Rodin sculpture. 'Il Penseroso,' he said. He sunk his face into the soft skin of Ari's shoulder like a vampire, and with his right hand he brushed past Ari's stomach and fondled his dick and balls. His own dick was already hard, causing a sizeable protrusion in his silk boxer shorts. Ari rubbed against the soft silk, and now they were kissing. He pushed Dante onto the bed. Soon the boxers were off, and Dante felt so warm against his skin… He kept rubbing, rubbing, and Dante was moaning while Ari moved to the rhythm of Dante's hands against his dick... Suddenly, Dante tensed up, like a deer in the headlights of a car. Eyes fixed on Ari, he gasped. The silver liquid burst out of his dick, five straight jets, covering Ari's hand and Dante's hard, bare chest. This was too much for Ari, he tried to hold on but Dante's hand was giving him too much pleasure, he came all over Dante's chest and a bit of cum hit Dante's cheek. Dante wiped it with his finger and licked it up like a cat.

And then they kissed, and Ari was in Dante's arms, and Dante was working his fingers through Ari's curly hair. Dante fell asleep, and Ari stayed awake listening to his snores and the patter of rain on the windows.

'I love you, sleepyhead,' said Dante the next morning, which was Christmas Eve. Outside it was a winter wonderland.

'I love you too,' said Ari.

Dante had made him a cup of hot chocolate. Ari sat up in bed and drank it. Dante kissed him even though the chocolate left a stain around his mouth. He noticed that Dante had a funny expression, like a little kid in trouble.

'I know it's not Christmas yet,' he said. 'But I want you to have something.'

Ari noticed the two large presents at the foot of his bed. He thought he recognised one of them. The first one was a big, fat encyclopaedia, full of stars, galaxies and magnitudes. It must have cost a fortune.

'Thank you, Dante,' he said. Dante hugged him.

The second present was Dante's own telescope. He never let it get dirty. It was his pride and joy.

'Dante. Why?'

'I got a scholarship,' he said plaintively. 'The School of Visual Arts in New York. And there aren't a lot of stars in Manhattan. That's why I want you to have it. It's nice to think that, wherever I am, you'll be looking at the stars.'

Weightlessness. Ari had never thought he and Dante would last forever. In just six short months, school would end, and then university, and then life. It seemed too soon, and Ari had no idea what he wanted to do, or where he wanted to study at. He was good at English, he liked science. He had a fleeting vision of himself at some university, in Salt Lake City or St. Louis. There would be other gay guys there, and boys and girls with lots of talent and big ideas. But life without Dante..? He thought of Legs in his basket, who always jumped to see Dante, barking and yapping like a kid at Christmastime.

'It's okay. I'm happy for you. Really I am.'

'I know.'

'This is what you've always wanted to do. You have to do it. For you.'

'I'm not sure I want to go to New York.'

'Why not, Dante?'

'Don't worry about it now. I'll tell you later. I'm going to have a shower, do you want to join me?'

'I'm alright.'

'Okay.' Dante kissed him on the cheek, and left him to his thoughts.

Ari's present to Dante was a book about Vincent Van Gogh. He should have known better than to give it to him at breakfast-time, because Dante started reading it over his cereal and stayed on another planet all morning. That afternoon, Dante's aunts took them shopping into town, and they gave Legs a walk. There had been some talk of making love, but by bedtime, Ari was too tired, and Dante was engrossed in his book, so he went to sleep in his own bed.

He awoke to the sound of a slammed door. It was eleven at night. He glanced sleepily over to Dante's bed, to find the covers thrown over. No Dante.

He must have gone outside. Ari hastily put on some clothes over his pyjamas, and went outside. The myriad of stars had been replaced by a dark purple cloud. There was every danger it might snow. It was bitterly cold. The kind of cold devoid of beauty or compassion, that got right to your bones and led only to frostbite and death. Ari could just make out a pinprick of torchlight, up a forest path. He followed it, hugging himself to stave off the cold. He tried not to think about bears and wolves.

The forest path went uphill, and sometime later it led to a frozen lake. It was unlike anything he had ever seen in Texas. Dante was sitting on a rock, and he was crying silent tears. Snowflakes surrounded him like fireflies. Out of instinct Ari sat down next to him and hugged him.

'What's wrong, Dante?'

'Why do you think my parents would send us here, at Christmas? It's mum. She has cancer. She's got fucking cancer.'

This was more horrible than Ari had ever imagined. Dante's mum, with all that life and all that love.

'And Bobby?' Dante's sister was three months old now, and growing fast.

'Bobby's fine. They found it when my mum was pregnant. She has five years? Twelve months? We don't know. The doctor told me.' Dante's face, still scarred from the time he was beaten up, was full of hurt. 'But my dad, he can't raise a girl on his own. My- fucking- dad'- he broke down crying, and Ari cried too. Seeing Dante broken hurt his heart.

They cried together for half an hour, until the clouds had cleared and the sky was full of stars. When they couldn't cry anymore, they walked out onto the frozen lake and lay down on the ice, staring up into space.

'They've got my parents, and you've got me,' said Ari. 'Whatever happens, I'm here for you. We're a family.'

'I guess we really are now,' said Dante.

'My mum wants me to go to New York. But I'll miss her. And I'll miss you. I guess things will never be alright. It's just shit.'

Ari thought about this. 'Love is a kind of freedom in its own right,' he said.

'Freedom from what, Ari? We're still gonna die. Pain is still gonna make us'- he shook- 'like that. Numb. There are still gonna be things I can't protect you from. It breaks my heart.'

Ari was shocked by this. Dante's heart wasn't easily broken.

A million stars. Weightlessness. Time and space. 'That day, Dante, the summer we first met. When I saw you running for that bird. You could have died, Dante!' He fought back tears. 'We're both little birds. We're gonna die one day. But love is when you saved that bird. It's a respite from that. And I'll follow you no matter what.'

Dante smiled. They walked home together, hand in hand.

'What are you going to do?' he asked. 'What about school?'

'There are plenty of universities in New York. Or we could both work in a Starbucks, I dunno.'

Dante laughed. 'I'd like that.'

'Together?'

'Together.' Dante gripped Ari's hand. They never had to be scared again.