Another day of audition tapes for the Juilliard admissions board. Another day of lackluster performances and rather monotonous personalities until a lithe blonde in a bikini comes onto the screen.
"Oh... Hi! My name is Brittany Pierce. And for my admissions essay, I'm gonna tell all you at Juilliard why I'm going to make an amazing dancer."
The video cuts to a music room where Brittany is sitting with several peers.
"As the most talented member of my glee club, I'm skilled at commanding the attention of a room and discussing very important issues."
The camera pans to a whiteboard that has one word written on it: Journey. A fully clothed Brittany stands and addresses her companions, much to the annoyance of a girl wearing a plaid skirt.
"It has come to my attention that Mr. Schue would like us to perform Journey songs at competition… again. Since Britney Spears has given me the courage to demand all of the solos, we should perform Ke$ha's timeless hit Tik Tok with me on lead vocals. All those in favor of winning please say I."
A rousing chorus of I's is heard before the scene changes and Brittany's in her bikini once again, this time floating in the pool.
"I'm able to recall hundreds of important details at the drop of a hat."
A Latina girl glides by on her own raft, pausing to briefly link pinkies with Brittany before asking, "Hey Brit-Brit! Do you know what happened on One Tree Hill yesterday?"
"Why yes, Santana, I do! Once again, Brooke is engaged to Julian and is pregnant with his baby and as you know, Nathan is in his second NBA season."
Next, it's back to the choir room where Brittany is goofing around with a lanky Asian boy.
"I feel comfortable using dance terminology in everyday life!"
"No Mike, you're supposed to pop, lock, and then drop it…"
She then proceeds to demonstrate the correct sequence of moves, only to have the camera fade back to the pool, where she leans up against the side.
"And that's why you should vote for me, Brittany Pierce, future dancer for the class of 2016."
Brittany paces her room, nervous about the tape. It's been almost a month since they sent it off.
"But Santana… Some of those things never really happened. Aren't they gonna figure out we edited that clip of me saying all that stuff about solos? It kinda went that way in real life, but I feel bad tricking these people into letting me into Juilliard."
"Brit-Brit, you're the one who came up with this idea after we watched Legally Blonde. Besides, Juilliard is gonna love you and I'm going to NYU. It's a win-win for both of us."
The review board deliberates.
"She does have a cheer and dance background and she sent in an audition tape as well."
"A Cheerio?"
"Well, sir, we've never had one before, and aren't we always looking for diversity?"
"Her list of extra-curricular activities is impressive."
"She was in a Britney Spears/Madonna fantasy!"
"Clearly she is dedicated to the point where she even dreams about dancing."
"She also has her own internet talk show called Fondue for Two."
"She's a friend to the animals as well as a journalist."
"Brittany Pierce… Welcome to Juilliard."