Title: Two Hours Trapped In an Opera
Summary: The Village Council had decided to civilize their warriors in a new form of art.
Warnings: Crack.
A/N: I'm rather poor with writing crack stories but hopefully this pleases some of you. ;D
- Nokkonen
Not many of the shinobi in the village knew about the old theater, Golden Vines that was located at the west side of the village, in the midst of the old tea houses and onsens. Every now and then you could spot a poster or something from a travelling troupe that was performing there but all in all the theater was more known by the civilians.
"Until now that is," Iruka mused wryly as he ignored yet another cringe from the man sitting next to him as the booming baritone swept over them and the rest of the audience. "And they call me loud," he couldn't help but complain in low voice.
"Iruka…." Kakashi whispered, pleading and tugging ever so lightly the sleeve of Iruka's dark red haori. Any other time Iruka would have drooled at the formal kimono and hakama the jounin was wearing. The dark green and earthy colors of the Hatake clan were simply amazing against Kakashi's pale skin and gravity-defying silver hair – even the ever-present mask matched his haori, the green so dark shade that it was almost black – but any lustful thoughts were promptly squashed by the suffering look in the older man's eye and covered face.
"Just take it like a man, love," Iruka murmured, wincing when a very high aria split the air and nearly shattered the ear drums of the audience – from the corner of his eye, the tan man could see Tobitake Tonbo cover his ears and try to disappear in to his seat. Kami-sama knows I'm trying to…
There was a wave of sympathy from the masses as they watched Hyuuga Neji stand guard stiffly in the pale blue kamishimo he had been forced to wear, equally unhappy Tenten kneeling on a higher platform, the amazingly preserved jūnihitoe kimono almost swallowing the young girl. Before them Lee was performing with his eyes ablaze and taking very seriously his role as the farm-boy-turned-into-a-warrior. The vivid yellow silk ribbons tied in the bō staff danced with the teenager as he made somersaults in the air, landing gracefully on the tatami-covered stage.
It looked good quite impressive and Iruka's teacher side approved the improvement in Lee's skills under Gai-sensei's tutelage. And right on cue, the Green Beast of Konoha appeared on the stage, his usually deafening voice even louder as the taijutsu-specialist sang from his heart's content. Dressed in flowing robes and beard, Gai acted the role of the wizen martial arts teacher who had found the unpolished gem of a warrior and taken under his wing.
"I swear I'm going to hide the bodies of those bastards, who came up with this idea, so that they will never find them," Kakashi groaned, the dark eye glaring sullenly at the mock-fight between Farm Boy and Kame-ojiisama, his whole posture screaming nothing but unhappiness.
"Then you'll be charged with the murders of your fellow shinobi," the chuunin muttered back, not turning his eyes from Team Gai and the (un)fortunate genins that had been roped as the members of the fair and youthful Yuriko-hime's court, "not to mention they'll add high-level of treason and wasting the village's budget, since Tsunade-sama did put some of her own money in to this."
Cursing under his breath at Iruka's words – or it could've been the second, even higher aria that split the air – Kakashi glared darkly at the stage and.
"Don't worry, we're halfway through already," Iruka murmured and grasped Kakashi's hand with his own, "just one more hour and then we can go home."
The jounin's long, suffering moan drowned underneath the Tenten's surprisingly beautiful soprano and Iruka could only grin.