Ok, I had a sudden inspiration for this story I hope you like it!

DISCLAIMER::::: I OWN NOTHING!

(tear, tear.)

chapter one: now what?

There, thats it. I give up. First Edward, now Jake. He was supposed to be my sun, my sky, my stability. But no, insead he finally realised how unlovable I am. Yes, he has finally seen what I have bin tryign to tell him about this whole time. im useless, worthless, a stupid sac of flesh.

All i do is waste space on this relentless planet. All I can do is take steal peoples time, and cause a problem for all who get to now me. Ask anyone, ANYONE. I took renee away from phil and kept her from enjoying her life. I disturbed charlies peaceful home. I was a stupid tempt for the whole vampire population, and know I've put jake under my'spell' and hes finally broken free and is ripping my heart out in return.

But alas, I deserve all that is given to me. I deserve charlies cold shoulder, I deserve my moms ignoring me, I deserve the gift from edward. The gift of a shattered heart, and now im left with something that might resemble a heart. Its shredded and ruined. So why not put it out of its misery?

Why not stop eating charlies food? And wasting peoples time at school? Because of my cat. Azzy, he is the only thing keeping me from my misery. keeping me from accidentaly swirving off the road, and taking away all the pain. Because he, would be left all alone and i cant bare to cause any more problems for the world. No, no more.

I try to make myself scarce and not be a nuisance. I clean everything and eat little. I spend my days at the library or crying in my closet. I am the one everyone avoids. I am the one that takes the beatings for nerds and dwebs. I am Bella.

I dont deserve the name. It should not have to be stuck with, with this. this thing that is me.

Oh well, I think as I skate down the streets of forks. Its about 11pm rite now. I skate to keep weight off and to keep my mind off of the deppression.

Azzy allways stays near me. He's the only thing i have left. I release my arms from clutching around my body. Its so cold nowadays. I swing my arms back and forth as I begin to pick up speed. Yes, I think as I begin to lose my peripheral vision due to it becoming blurry. I push faster, and faster. I squat and lean to my right as I make the hard right turn. A few miles down this dimly lit road.

I pick up even more speed if that possible. I crouch lower as I reach my peaked speed. I see a hooded figure standing ahead on the sidewalk. I catch a quick glance at this tall figure just as I zoom past. Everything was blurred except for those beautiful blue eyes. Hes mine. Woah,
did i just think that? What the fuck and I thinking? I would just ruin his life.

I slowly make my way back home finally losing all feeling in my midsection. im wearing only a sports bra and sweats. Its February.

I quickly unstrap and de-lace my skates as I am about to enter the house. Charlies out for a few weeks on some kind of cop, thing. Good. It will be easier to hide my eating habits.

I walk up stairs, stow away my skates and plop down beside Azzy. He is faaaat fat fat. I feed him way to much. I pull out his bag-o-treats and fill his bowl. I watch lovingly as he munches on the sweets.

I get up to go down to the kitchen, my stomache is growling. I feel a binge coming on. Ok, I say to myself. We can eat alot know but no food for the whole week ok? I do a little cheer dance and swing the frige door open. Hmmmm, I grab the tuna, macaroni, fried chicken, and hot dogs. Yup then I'll have some toast with peanut butter and syrup for desert.

I gorge on the food for about 20 minutes an halfway through my second peice of chicken I run to the bathroom. My tummy needs to be cleaned. I grab my tooth brush and lean over the toilet bowl. Shove it down my throat and clench my stomache. Good ,good. Two more good ones like that and I'll be ready to go again.

I flush the toilet and go back to the table. round two.

The next day at school.

I wipe eye crust away as I try to atleast look interested in the lesson today. Not working out. The bell finally rings for lunch and I stalk tword the door, last and begin down the hall. I walk slowly so the halls are allmost clear by the time I reach the library, I know I know, the library? Yeah thats were I spend lunch.

As I open the door I hear a slamming noise. I look over to the lockers and see Laura-bitch shoving someone into the lockers and geting in her face. Ugh, I cant let someone else feel any pain like I have, I just cant.

I sigh and walk over to them and thats all it takes. Lauren looks at me and forgets about the opther girl. She retreats and thanks me with her eyes. I turn back to Lauren to see that two of her freinds are approaching.

"Oh Bella! I totally forgot I had something special to tell you! Isnt that right girls?" She turns to Jessica and Tanya, they nod. "Why dont you come with me for a moment?" She locks arms with me and walks me to the back doors leading outside. I dont even bother rejecting her I just follow knowing what is to come. As soon as we are in the dingy ally, she shoves me away from he wiping her arm with a wipey out of no where.

"Ugh why the fuck are you still alive?" because my cat needs me. she kicks me against a wall not bothering to hear an explanation she just beats me sensless. At one point she grabs my braclet and trys to rip it. Its a braclet jake gave to me. A sudden rebeliousness explodes in me and I scream and punch her in the face.

She looks more shocked than hurt. I dont have much strength. She just smiles and grabs me up by my hair with her manicured nails. Hard.

"You little bitch!" She yells in my face and slams my head into the bricks.

Then everything goes black.

Finally I come to it and im on the ground very sore and maybe broken. My voice is hoarse and its getting dark. I blink a few times and see three pairs of feet aproaching and my heart begins to flutter faster.

Then I realise its Laura-bitch and the crew all giggling and laughing. I wonder why they bothered to come back? I then see a sack over Tanya's shoulder.

I hear a sound like an animal...oh, my, god. SHE HAS AZZY! She dumps the cat out of the bag and he lands on his feet.

"You have one fat ass cat hoe." Lauren says as I struggle to make my body move. Azzy licks my face not the least bit mad. I begin to cry harder as I see tanya hand her a bat.

"Pl-plea...lease!" I attempt to gasp out. Unsuccessfully as I see her raise the bat in the air. I squeez my eyes closed and try to not listen. I hear a strangled animal sound and a horrible splat. I feel sprays on my face and my eyes shoot open. Here I am on the ground with my last hope to living splattered on my ugly face. I stop breathing stop thinking.

I force myself to my legs not even feeling anmore. I hear a few snaps. Yup something is definately broken. The girls look dumfounded and scared as they watch me, a blood covered broken girl rise.

I dont even blink I limp to my truck leaving the girls behind staring. I drive to La Push, stop at the beach, and walk to the cliffs. I dont bother to take off my baggy shirt and jeans. I take a deep breathe. I cant take it anymore. Im done. I take a step forward.

Then I hear a twig snap. Someones there. I turn and gasp at the sight before my eyes.

Uh oh! Whats going to happen? Review and I will continue!:)

REVIEW~!

Thank you:))))))))) By the way have you ever noticed how when you read fanfics some people spell definitely as defiantly? lol, oh and I know that im not the best person at editing and such and I know that I may spell things wrong or whatever so please dont tell me what I already know k? thanx!