"Me, why?" he asked in mock surprise. By then I had summoned all my courage, enough to tell him that it was important to talk to him alone and somewhere less public. So we were walking together. He was eying me intensely. I got the heebie jeebies, and yet, it excited me. It was a difficult walk, as my heels were too big for me. But I loved it, the walk. After walking a while, he stopped abruptly. "What do you want from me?"
"You" I blurted without hesitation. Cheesy and ego shattering, but what can a ninth grader say when all they used to watch back in those days was Animal Planet. He was amused. Oh wow, he likes me. "You are kidding, right?" he asked me. I could only shake my head for no.
"So is that why you're wearing a Christmas frock in September and putting on scarlet lipstick. To lure me for a date? You look like a fool. Didn't you see the mirror before coming here? Go home and put that lipstick in your locker if you want to attract a boy sometime in your life. You're a child and I don't date children."
The end of love as I knew it
Snip, snip… with each word that he uttered, he was snipping away all the confidence I ever had. He walked away. I sat on the ground. I didn't know when I got back home. I could never love again. I was shattered. A year passed but my love for him never changed even after his harsh words.
I loved him the same way I did the first day I saw him. That love had made me a real girl. My friends too had grown up. A very dear friend of mine used to travel in the same school bus as he did. She was more beautiful than me. And she didn't wear glasses. She got friendly with him. It was done with a purpose to bring him to me. There was a ray of hope at last. But instead of bringing him to me, she hooked up with him. They fell in love with each other.
Time passed by and I really grew up this time. I passed my years with good grades. My friend and he were still together. I was still friends with her too. To pursue my education, I went to the big city where my parents lived. But the memories of my small town dorms and him were with me all the time. Could I ever forget him? When I first got to my parent's place, I didn't like the big city. It was just too big. And there were no things such as friendship, everyone was in his or her own boat rowing on to crush others.
A true love story rekindled
But then I clung close to my parents and I loved it. I was tuned to my studies and made myself forget the whole heart-breaking "trauma" of my teen years. Do you think I could ever make the folly of falling in love again? I never did believe I would.
But I did fall in love again. There was this guy, my neighbor. For the first time in my life I was a girly girl who actually was hogging all the stares of the men from Mars, and vicious green stares from Venusian eyes. For the first time in my life, I started flirting. "Harmless flirting", that's what one of my cousins called it. My neighbor was very handsome and I could say, quite interested too.
So we started our little game of "harmless flirting". We would look at each other and smile. But there was nothing more than that. No words. He was good, with words (gestures actually, as we never spoke to each other) and I was mesmerized by his eyes. I never thought that I could fall in love all over again. I was a veteran in love long before it was time to be one.
I had left everything of my past behind, even the phone numbers and addresses of my friends. I was happy with my new found flirting partner. I had my future clearly etched for me. I would study hard as I always did, get a job and would flirt with him for a change, if he ever remained around that long.
I was going through a blank frame of mind for a few days and the occasional veranda flirt also failed to cheer me up. So I completely avoided going out on the balcony for two days. One time, as I was sauntering home after school, I saw him. My flirting friend. Whoa, what was he doing here? He waved his hands and gestured towards me. I felt like I was in a stupor, I went to him. "Where were you the last two days?" he asked.
So he could use his mouth to communicate. Interesting.
"I was wondering if something happened to you", he added.
"No, I am fine", I managed to say. It was one thing to flirt from your balcony, but a completely different thing to talk to him, that too in front of your school. "Wanna have coffee?" he asked all of a sudden. "Uhm, oh, ok" Whew, I could talk to him too, though in monosyllables. He took me to a café. I was on my first date.
My first date with love
My first date, and I was so not ready for it! There I was on my first date. The worst part was that he was looking so handsome. And he was talking to me like he knew me for years. I was too busy thinking. He was asking why he didn't see me on the balcony the last two days. I just shrugged my shoulder and said, "Blame my shitty mood". I couldn't believe that I had cussed in front of him. Ding Ding! Minus two hundred points!
My first date was converting into a disaster and I was the jackass axing the branch I was sitting on. Believe it or not, surprisingly, it didn't end in a disaster. He asked me out and we met frequently afterwards. He was pursuing a graduate degree. And I got to know much more about him and his family as the time passed. His name is Andrew. Not a romantic name. But today I can tell you that he is the most romantic person in the world. He is responsible for bringing out the lost confidence in me and I am not afraid to be myself with him. He is mine and I could ask for nothing more. He proposed to me and it was the best day of my life. Of course, I accepted and we're going to get married soon.
Just last month, my first crush tracked me down on Facebook. He got my...
wait till next friday to read the rest of the story.