A/N: It's a dialogue RusAme piece! Translations are at the bottom and while you're there you can also click the review box and type something in it~
…
Good god I need to do homework instead of write fan fiction*flails arms wildly*
Disclaimer: Nope.
"Yes."
"Nyet."
"Yes!"
"Nyet!"
"C'mon man, it's a totally awesome plan that'll totally work!"
"Da, it is 'awesome', but it will not work."
"Uh hell yeah it'll work. It's got the hero in it, ain't it?"
"Where is this 'hero'? I do not see him."
"Oh shut up you commie. I'm right here!"
"Da I know Amerika. But I was asking about 'hero'."
"I'M THE HERO!"
"But you are Amerika."
"Dude first off its America; C-A not K-A. And second off, I am the hero! So it's gotta work!"
"…Nyet."
"Ugh. Dude, just trust me –"
"Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! No! No! N – "
"Okay man, calm the hell down. Look, I know that we have a rocky past –"
"You think?"
"Nope! I know."
"Well that is first thing you have gotten right, mudak."
"What did you just call me, asshole?!"
"Da."
"Stop smirking you damn –"
"Nyet."
"Is that the only thing you're going to say?"
"…"
"…"
"Nyet."
-Table flip-
-Chuckles-
"Okay man, I'm at wits end right about now and I want – no I need – you to cooperate with me. If this epic plan is going to work then I can't have you pissing me off and vice versa, 'kay? Now –"
"Hold on, question."
"What is it Russia?"
"Why are you pranking England?"
"We –"
"You."
-Growls-
-Glares-
-Face palm-
-Smiles-
"I am pranking the Iggster because I'm bored and have nothing better to do. That's why. Now can I please for the love of Mickey D's just get to the plan?!"
"Hold on, another question."
"Well what is it?!"
"Why do you need me?"
"Because you are going to be my bodyguard, that's why."
"Bodyguard?"
-Nods-
"…Amerika?"
"Yes Russia?"
"Are you scared?"
"WHAT? ME? SCARED? Pfft hell naw!"
"Then you do not need me."
-Gapes-
-Stands up-
"Wait commie you don't understand!"
"Oh?"
-Vigorous nod-
"Then explain capitalist pig. Oh and by the way, I'm not communist anymore, da?"
"Nye it. Once you're a commie, you're always a commie."
-Laughs-
"Why are you laughing?"
"Were you trying to say no in mother tongue?"
"Yeah, I was. You got a problem?"
-Laughs-
"Would you stop that!"
"Nyet! Or how you would say: Nye it!"
-Growls-
-Laughs-
"Well you know what Ruski?"
"Hmm? What is it stupid American?"
"I don't give a rat's ass about your language."
"Really, are you sure?"
"Yep! In fact, I think it's unintelligent, atrocious, and absolutely ridiculous."
"Oh wow what big words you are using, Amerika! I did not know you were capable of such feats!"
"Can it Sunflower Boy."
"No, I do not think I will. Vash yazyk khuzhe, chem tebe, ty egoistichnaya svin'ya! I dlya protokola , ya ne budu vashim telokhranitelem tol'ko potomu, chto vy tak govorite ! Nevazhno, skol'ko ya ochen' lyublyu vas, tak ne poluchayete nikakikh idey! Pereyti nayti kogo-to yeshche , potomu chto ya sdelal so vsemi etimi oskorbleniyami i der'mom. Tak khoroshiy den', chtoby vy podsolnechnik, uvidimsya na sleduyushchem zasedanii Mira."
"Dude, I have no idea what you just said because of all the rapid-fire Russian, but I'm guessing that you're pissed."
-Glares-
"Yep definitely pissed over something that is totally not my fault."
"KolKolKol~"
"Don't give me that Russia."
"KolKolKol~"
"Ugh! Fine! I'm sorry that over whatever the hell I did just please don't kill me even though I could totally whoop your ass. Is that better?"
-Glares-
-Glares back-
*10 minutes into the Staring Contest*
-Blink-
"Aha! I have beaten you Amerika!"
-Growls-
-Smirks-
"Damn you. So are we fine now? Can we plan?"
"Nyet. We are not fine. We are far from fine. And no, I do not want to plan with you because I do not want to prank Angliya."
"But why~?"
"Stop whining, it is unbecoming of you."
"I'm not whining! Hero's never whine!"
-Snorts-
"It's true, Vanya."
"What did you just call me?"
"N-Nothing…"
-Squeals and hugs-
-Almost crushed to death-
"YA lyublyu tebya! YA lyublyu tebya! YA lyublyu tebya!"
"Can't…fucking…breathe…"
-Releases-
-Backs up and takes in a big breath-
-Grins-
"Why are you grinning?"
"You called me Vanya!"
"Y-Yeah I know...so? What's it to you?"
"You called me Vanya!"
-Blushes-
-Grins-
"A-And? Look are we going to plan this or not?"
"No, but you say you are bored, da?"
"Yeah that's why I'm pranking England."
"Then we can do something!"
"Like what?"
-Kisses-
-Blushes-
-Smiles-
"No. No. No. Nyet –"
"You said it correctly Amerika!"
"Stop squealing, Rus."
-Frowns-
"Look I – we – it wouldn't work man."
"Why?"
"Because dude, we hate each other. It would make no sense."
"But –"
"But nothing."
-Blank stare-
"Aww c'mon Ivan, don't do this. What would the others say? Or our bosses for that matter?"
"So you do not…like me?"
"NO! I mean yes! I mean -! That's completely irrelevant to what I was sayin' because even if I do like you – if – our reputation of enemies would be ruined."
"…You make no sense, Alfred."
-Sighs-
"So what you are saying is that you rather be enemies than together?"
"It's complicated."
"Clearly."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you afraid, little one?"
-Stares at ground-
"Da, you are. I can tell. But do not worry; you do not need to be afraid."
"Wha…?"
"Back in my home country there is song. Song is called 'Ya Soshla S Uma' and is about two devochki falling in love. Society hates them, but they stay together. Why? Because they love each other no matter what people think."
"Ivan…"
"Yes sunflower?"
"That's not what I'm afraid of."
"Oh then what are you frightened of?"
"Of how our relationship would be like, ya know?"
"Hmm well future is unwritten, da? So if we make work, then it will work."
-Looks back up-
-Kisses nose-
-Blushes-
"We need to plan attack on England, da? Let's go."
"Oh sweet dude! You're like totally going to do it now, huh?"
"Da."
"That's awesome! OMG we should call in France!"
"France…?"
"Yeah man! It'll piss off Iggy the most! Along with my epic Captain Jack Sparrow costume which he totally hates because the series were 'not historically accurate'. Oh and there should be a boat full of Earl Grey Tea that we can light up!"
"…Amerika?"
"Yeah, babe?"
"This is prank, so why is plan so big?"
"Pfft because it's awesome and epic, that's why."
"What am I going to do?"
"You are going to make sure England doesn't curse me with Black Magic along with some other things."
"Oh."
"Yep! Oh we should totally get Iggy's BF Romano too! Like, drop a whole bag of potatoes on his head or somethin'. It's gonna be sweet~!"
"Cannot wait, lyubimaya."
Translation:
Nyet – No. (C'mon people, you should know this xD)
Vash yazyk khuzhe, chem tebe, ty egoistichnaya svin'ya! I dlya protokola , ya ne budu vashim telokhranitelem tol'ko potomu, chto vy tak govorite ! Nevazhno, skol'ko ya ochen' lyublyu vas, tak ne poluchayete nikakikh idey! Pereyti nayti kogo-to yeshche , potomu chto ya sdelal so vsemi etimi oskorbleniyami i der'mom. Tak khoroshiy den', chtoby vy podsolnechnik, uvidimsya na sleduyushchem zasedanii Mira. - Your tongue is worse than you, you selfish pig! And for the record, I will not be your bodyguard just because you say so! No matter how much I love you, so do not get any ideas! Go find someone else, because I have done with all these insults and shit. So good day to you sunflower. See you at the next meeting of the World.
Angliya – England
Vanya – Russian nickname for Ivan (you should know this one too :P)
YA lyublyu tebya! YA lyublyu tebya! YA lyublyu tebya! – I love you! I love you! I love you!
Devochki – Girls
lyubimaya – Darling/Love (Some form of endearment)