Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my imagination is a strange, twisted thing...

A/N: Feidreva on The Seventh Heaven was nice enough to give me the requirements, and, um, apparently I really had her on a Cid in underwear binge for a while. XD

Requirements:
1. Cid in underwear
2. puppy eyes
3. guy of your choice singing in the shower
4. ice skates

Setting: Tseng sends Reno on a TURK mission to retrieve something (a file or object) that was forgotten in Sephiroth's office. He may have the unexpected help of someone who is not a TURK.

WARNING:
Part I contains: a naked blond, swearing, and...odd humor

Silver Lining: Part I

"Yo, what's up, Boss?" asked Reno, traipsing into Tseng's office and slouching casually against a wall. Technically, Reno knew, Tseng wasn't in command of the TURKs...but it was only a matter of time. And besides, the redhead only answered regularly to the dark-haired man currently in front of him if he had anything to say about it (and Reno always had something to say), and that had made an impact on what existed of Reno's obedience.* Besides, Tseng had helped train the hyperactive TURK.
The Wutaian man didn't miss the sharp eyes that noted every little detail, including the one lock of raven hair that was no longer of a length to be tied back with the rest. Alas, his enemy had been fast, the mission requiring a personal kill, and the knife sharp enough that Tseng counted himself lucky he hadn't lost a lot more hair. Still and all, though...
"Reno, you are familiar with General Sephiroth, are you not?" This was more statement than query, as Tseng knew damn well the redhead was the most social TURK and often went barhopping with the silver-haired officer and other SOLDIERs, if mostly those of the First Class alone.
"This mission involves Sephiroth, yo? I hope this isn't a normal TURK mission, Boss," admitted the hyperactive TURK. "He'd either kick my ass or kill me, yo, and I know you don't like to waste our lives." Ever astute in some ways (and totally oblivious in others), Reno spoke only the truth in this, because he knew Tseng and he knew Sephiroth.
Tseng waved aside his concerns. "No, but there's the matter of a file that was left in his office after a meeting earlier, and I need it to brief the bosses in the morning."

It turned out that the file was on ShinRa-employed scientists, which bored Reno almost to tears. Science wasn't his thing. Fighting and sneaking were much more up his alley. Well, and assassination, but he was a TURK, after all.
"Fuckin' psycho bastards," muttered the redhead. "'specially that Hojo, yo." Shaking his head, he decided he'd do a little recon before so much as entering the silver-haired general's office.
Sephiroth wasn't old, Reno wasn't as stupid as his impatience made him seem, and the general had a habit of finding some really NASTY consequences for people who did things he didn't want them to. The redhead had no intention of being among them. Again.**
So he walked past, noted carefully that the general was in residence-or rather, in office-and blithely continued on past. He noticed a few other ShinRa employees in the lounge, frowned as a thought struck him, and sauntered over.
There was a blond present the redhead had gone on drinking binges with before, so Reno meandered over, started up a conversation and enlisted a little help. Sephiroth would not see this coming. This was underhanded even for a TURK. But Reno would do what he had to in order to complete his missions, and this needed to be done.***

Sephiroth was at his desk, somewhat pissed off at the ridiculous amounts of paperwork that still remained in front of him. "Hell," he muttered. "Who wants to see all these damn papers, anyways?" Silver hair swayed as he shook his head.
He understood the necessities of paperwork only slightly better than the TURK Reno did. The devil was in the details, after all. But most of the reports and paperwork could be explained in person, conveying much more detail and wasting less time. Reports took time to write, to read, to share, to decipher... It was inefficient.
Taking a deep breath, the SOLDIER pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes screwed shut with annoyance. When he exhaled, there was a momentary pause before he opened his eyes.
What-WHO THE HELL!
Not a heartbeat passed ere the silver-haired general was on his feet and dodging obstacles, chasing the man who had the balls to moon him and leave a print of his ass on Sephiroth's inside office window. Still, he was fast on his feet. He'd caught the general so off guard that the only thing marking his trail was a distinctive scent.
One booted foot kicked the door to the bathroom open, and General Sephiroth stalked inside, ready and willing to beat the living daylights out of whoever the hell it was he was following. No one was immediately visible, which meant that someone was in a stall or in a vent. If it was a TURK, the vent was more likely. TURKs were sneaky, assassins and spies for such a portion of their work that it carried over to the rest of it, and often personal lives as well.
Sephiroth opened stall doors one after another until he found the one he was looking for, and then he stopped. Just...stopped.
Cid Highwind was totally unperturbed, cigarette in his mouth and clad only in underwear. "Ya gonna let me finish getting dressed again?" he asked, mocking laughter in his eyes.
Confounded and inexplicably wary of a man who'd be dead within seconds if it came to a fight, Sephiroth stepped back and let the stall door close. "You mooned me." The tone said he wanted to know why.
"Yup," said Cid, puffing on his cigarette as he donned pants and belt again.
"Why?"
Though the general couldn't see him, the pilot shrugged. "That redheaded TURK, he's a crazy one." Another puff on the cigarette. "Asked me to distract you so he could get into and outta your office." A deep breath through the cigarette, then a soft exhalation. Smoke drifted, teasing Sephiroth's nose. "Guess ya don't make TURK if ya ain't got balls," laughed Cid.
It took a second for the words to get through to the general, who was preoccupied with the scent of cigarette smoke. There was something strangely familiar about it...
"Wait, what? Shit!" Silver hair whipped behind him as Sephiroth darted through the halls back to his office, cursing his distraction.

*Most of it having been slaughtered long since, of course, by Reno or others.
**The first time had been a mistake, and taken place in a bar, wherein he'd been succeeding in his goal of drinking himself under the table.
***Which part needed to be done is for the readers to decide, lol. I could (and did) have several options to choose from.