Ready, Set, GO!, a naruto fanfic

Ready, Set, GO!

Fandom: Naruto

Parings: Some SasuSaku, Neji/Ten, Kakashi/Anko (if you squint), Shika/Ino/Choji (blink and you miss it), Kiba/Hinata or Shino/Hinata (if you look closely), and…nothing else. Oh, and Lee/Hinata (crack, people, I don't even know why I put it).

Characters: Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, Anko, Ino, Choji, Shikamaru, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Akamaru, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Neji, Tenten, Lee, and some random ninja.

A/N: This was entered in Epiff Annie's contest (which I sadly didn't win. But I didn't expect to anyway.) And it was made in an hour, as I entered on the last day. Be warned.

P.S. Ignore the '..3..'. I had to put that in because '...' can't be used anymore. (Damn uploader.)

...3...

"Come on! You can do it!"

"Are you crazy? It's IMPOSSIBLE!"

"Just count to ten and then do it!"

"Naruto, if I die because of this, I'm going to get Sasuke-kun to kill you."

"Hn?"

"Yes, Sasuke-kun, you will do it. Or I'll haunt you."

"I don't believe in ghosts."

Sakura slowly turned around from where she was, carefully balancing herself on her stilettos. Glaring at Sasuke, she continued, "I'll come back to life, and then torment you."

"…Sakura, just get on with it."

"Fine!"

Turning back around, she started to carefully climb the tree. Grumbling slightly about obnoxious boys, gambling, and why-does-she-have-get-the-damn-prize, she finally managed to reach the top.

"There. Did it." Looking around, she managed to find the pineapple hidden in the tree's branches.

"Sakura-chan! Did you get the item?"

BONK! Naruto got his answer in the form of the pineapple falling on his head.

"Ouch…Sakura-chan did you have to do that?" Naruto rubbed his head in pain, before cradling the slightly squashed pineapple.

"Yes…by the way…Sasuke-kun?" Sakura called down nervously.

"Hn?"

Blushing a little out of embarrassment, she continued, "Can you help me down?"

"Hn." Sasuke looked away, "Watch your step." In a mocking voice, he continued, "You can do it, Sakura-chan! You can climb down!"

Twitching a little, Sakura slowly climbed down, noticing something stuck on another one of the branches. Grinning mischievously, she called out, "Oh boys…Heads up!" and then knocked it down.

Sakura chuckled as she saw the expressions on their faces. "Pay back time, boys."

"You know, Neji, if it weren't for the fact that I've known you my entire life…well, at least for most of my life…ok, just a year or so, I would've thought you were joking." Tenten looked at Neji again, "That said, I still don't believe I heard what I think I heard."

"Yeah, you heard me. I actually prefer daises." Neji said, his face completely serious as he held the daisy gingerly.

"…" Tenten narrowed her eyes a little. "Are you actually Neji?"

Neji looked shocked for a moment, before smirking, "I am. And if you want proof, I know that you have a small teddy bear you sleep with at night and you are afraid of dogs."

Tenten blushed and scowled at his reply. "SHUT UP!" she hissed out, looking around. "You never know who's listening."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to say you have extreme paranoia." Neji then looked down at his daisy, petting it a little.

"HEY! THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Tenten shouted. Then she looked around again, before adding, "Your love for daisies does not explain why we are in the middle of a field of flowers."

"You…see," Neji explained slowly, "We…are…collecting…our…items…and…we…are…picking…daisies…Did you get that?"

"Yes," Tenten growled, "And the fact that you are obsessing over a plant."

"Not in front of the daisy!" Neji angrily said, before stroking the daisy a little. "There, there. She didn't mean to hurt you."

Tenten sighed. "Where's Lee when you need him? Seriously, I need someone other than lovesick puppy over there."

Neji looked up at this. Seductively, he murmured, "Jealous, Ten-chan? Don't worry, I still love you best…"

Tenten looked horrified. "Please, no. God, I don't want to die early."

Neji crept closer to her, "You don't mean that, do you? After all…"

Tenten tried to move backward. Neji stopped her and put his mouth next to her ear. "Ten-chan," he purred out, "I…"

At that moment, a green blur sped into the clearing. "Youthful comrades! I have some very youthful information to tell you."

Neji quickly moved away from Tenten, while she, remaining a little flustered, tried to sit up properly.

"What is it, Lee?" Tenten asked, all the while thanking the devil for sending her help. Neji quickly swallowed more pills down from his secret stash, and then started to kiss his daises.

"Well, I've decided to forget about Sakura-chan! And, this is because I've met the most amazing, beautiful, adorable girl on the planet. She is just kawaii! Whenever our eyes meet, she turns red and blushes, like a little schoolgirl!" Lee gushed out.

Tenten pretended to look interested. "Yes, that's very nice. So, who is this girl?"

"Well, I guess since we'll all be related soon, I should tell you now. It's Hinata!" Lee grinned out. Neji choked on the daisy, before turning to Lee.

"What?"

"Don't worry, girly-man, your cousin has the hots for me, I tell you. So it's a mutual feeling."

Neji started to turn an ugly shade of yellow. "Neji? Are you ok? You're looking like your daisies now." Tenten looked worriedly at the boy.

"Yes, Neji, we shall soon be related! Oh, brother-in-law, once you marry Tenten, we shall all be a great, big, and youthful family!" Lee then attempted to hug Neji.

"No, you will not touch Hinata-sama," Neji glared at the boy, while dodging Lee.

"I noticed you didn't say anything about us getting married," Tenten pointed out.

In response, Neji leered at her.

"K-K-Kiba-kun, are y-you sure t-that's s-s-safe?" Hinata stuttered out, watching the boy swing down the rope.

"Don't worry Hinata!" Kiba grinned up at her. "I just have to get into this cave and grab something in it!"

"D-demo…" Hinata trailed off, turning around when a hand touched her shoulder. "S-Shino-kun?"

"Don't worry. He knows what he's doing." Shino looked down at the waving Kiba.

"S-S-Shino-kun…" Hinata started to say.

"Really, he'll be fine. Akamaru is going to help him." Shino watched as Akamaru jumped down the cliff to join Kiba, flattening him in the process.

"Demo…"

"What's the matter?"

"S-Shino-kun…when d-d-did you g-get g-g-glasses?" Hinata stuttered out, looking at the floor nervously.

"S-Shino-kun?"

"A-are you ma-mad?"

"…" Suddenly Shino made a swift movement with his hands. Suddenly, a couple of ladybug's popped out of the earth.

"N-no!" Hinata quickly backed away. "Y-You know I-I'm af-afraid of l-lad-LADYBUG'S!"

Meanwhile, down at the cave…

"Akamaru, I think you need a diet."

POP! A bubble popped, followed by another, and then another.

"Where's the fight?" Shikamaru asked as he woke up. Rolling over in the muddy ditch, he turned to watch Ino blowing bubbles.

"You know, if you keep making bubbles, we are going to lose," Shikamaru commented.

"So?" Ino shot back, waving the bubble wand around. "I want to!" She then reached over and hit him on the hand with the wand. "Become obedient!"

Shikamaru stared at her blankly before rolling over and going back to sleep.

"HEY! The magic wand is supposed to work!"

"Ino, magic doesn't exist."

"HEY! It does too!"

"No, fairies, wizards, and dragons do not exist in real life."

"I bet you don't believe in fate and all of that," Ino huffed out, trying to make a dignified exit, stomping out, before tripping over her hair.

"You know, I believe in reincarnation. I bet in your past life, you were a chattering, nagging chipmunk."

Ino stared at Shikamaru, blinking a little, before getting her fists ready. "Shikamaru, I liked you better when you were sleeping."

"Hey! I brought us some food!" Choji calls out, walking into the swampy area his team occupied.

Ino looked at the food in Choji's arms, momentarily distracted. Shikamaru took this time to quickly crawl behind a rock and curl up into a ball.

"Choji, you bought enough food to feed all of the Hyuuga clan," Ino commented, wrinkling her nose, "As well, they seem…eccentric…food to eat."

Choji put on a wounded look. "You hurt me, Ino. I, who walked over miles of wet, muddy, sticky underbrush, I who traveled through forests filled with wild animals, I who risked my life to get you this bountiful food. And you dare insult my tasty treats?"

"Choji…" Ino replied in awe, surprised by the dangers he went through.

"You know, the store was only twenty meters east," Shikamaru's muffled voice called out. He was still hiding behind the rock.

"Go back to sleep," Choji darkly said.

Ino looked at the food and decided to be kind. "I'll take one of these…these…food…things…"

"Fine, I'll give you something," Choji grudgingly said. Then he grabbed several items and presented them to her. "Do you want the buttered muffin, the peanut-butter covered egg, the chocolate-dipped asparagus, the pineapple tart, or the pea-filled pie?"

Ino blanched at the sight of the food, before pointing to one. "Yes, I would like the buttered muffin."

"Good choice!" Choji beamed, before throwing the egg at Shikamaru. "You can have that."

Shikamaru froze as his hair got covered in chocolate.

"Oh no…" Ino fearfully whispered, "We are screwed."

"Hey! Give me some help with this!" Temari ordered her two brothers.

"Why should we?" Kankuro stubbornly asked, not wanting to move.

"You need to stop playing with dolls," Temari replied, "I'm going to make you a real man."

"I'm a real man. And my puppets are not dolls," Kankuro angrily shot back.

"Oh yeah? When was the last time you talked to someone? Other than your precious dolls?"

"…" Kankuro was speechless at this.

"Anyways, can you tie this for me?" Temari continued.

"…" Gaara looked at the two of them, before looking away.

"How is tying flowers together going to make me more manly?" Kankuro doubtfully asked, having finally gone to Temari.

"Hmm? Oh, that." Temari said.

"Yes, that."

"Well," Temari looked thoughtful, "I gave up on that and decided you are probably going to be gay. Or get an operation and become a female. So I might as well teach you something useful."

"…" Kankuro looked at his sister in shock.

"Hn," Gaara added, "She's right."

Kankuro growled a little.

"Gaara, stop picking on your brother!" Temari ordered. "And stop moving around so much. I can't fix that dress if you move it around while I stitch."

"You know, they should be finished by now," Anko murmured, looking out the window.

"Yes, they should," Kakashi agreed, keeping his eyes glued to his book.

"And I'm sure that none of them actually finished," Anko added.

"Yep," Kakashi turned a page in his book.

"And I think that all of our teams died," Anko continued, looking at Kakashi.

"Seems like it," He stared at a page for a moment, before giggling lightly.

"You act like a girl."

"Mmm…"

"I like little boys."

"Really? That's nice…." Kakashi paused for a second, before turning to her. "You do?"

"…" Anko twitched a little. "Finally you pay attention."

Kakashi grinned sheepishly, before turning around when a ninja walked into the room.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Anko barked out.

"Sorry…" the ninja mumbled, "The teams have returned."

"Oh?" Anko grinned, before creeping up behind the ninja. "Really?" She put her hands on his shoulders and leaned down to his ear and whispering, "Thank you."

The ninja shivered before escaping the room.

"You really do like younger men," Kakashi remarked.

"Shut up."

As Anko stared at the people in front of her, she sighed. Sasuke and Naruto were covered with bee stings, while Sakura rubbed her ankle gingerly. Their pineapple was slightly squashed and resembled a turnip. Hinata was curled up into a ball in a corner, her eyes wide and muttering to herself. Shino looked smug, holding a bowl filled with berries while Kiba was trying to pry Akamaru's jaws off of him. Tenten was trying hard to seduce Gaara (and seemed to be avoiding Neji), who was wearing a bright dress. Kankuro had a crown of flowers in his hair, while Temari swatted his hand every time he attempted to remove them. Ino and Choji were covered in mud, with their clothes slightly bloodied and torn, while Shikamaru gave them orders.

"All of you…" Anko frowned at them. "You really failed at this scavenger hunt. Well, as Kakashi told me something earlier, I'll give the prize to Team Seven."

Naruto grinned and went forward to get the prize.

"Your prize," Anko quickly grabbed the box beside her and gave it to Naruto.

"Is it filled with jewels? Money? RAMEN?" Naruto eagerly said, before reaching to open the box.

"Before you do that," Anko stopped Naruto's hand, and then leaned down to whisper something to Naruto.

Naruto started to turn red, while Kakashi snickered. "Shut up!" Anko snapped at Kakashi. "It wasn't what you were thinking!"

Naruto quickly went to his team and grabbed Sasuke's collar. "Tell it to me straight—is Sakura pregnant?"

"…" Everyone stared at shock. Sakura started changing color, and Sasuke started to twitch.

"Dobe, why would she be pregnant?" Sasuke pulled his shirt out of Naruto's hands.

"You had me scared there," Ino sighed out, relieved.

"Ha! Like Sasuke would gain emotions and jump Sakura-chan!" Naruto laughed at himself for doubting his best friend.

"Y-y-yes…" Hinata murmured in agreement. "I-I almost t-t-thought that Sa-Sakura did…d-d-did…it." Hinata turned crimson as she said that.

Naruto opened the box, and as a huge swarm of angry butterflies popped out, attacking everyone nearby, he heard Sasuke ask Sakura, "You're not pregnant, right?"

...3...

A/N: Yeah, so that's what I entered. Oh, and the bolded words are the prompts. And I know that the ending is rushed. Anyways, review!