Author's Note: This was written as an entry for Kazuraba-Kouta's End of Gaim Tokusatsu Songfic Contest. Since its original posting it has been reported for using song lyrics, so the lyrics have been removed to be in compliance with the (idiotic) rules. The original version can still be found under my user name at AO3 (same name), or you can take the lyrics and put them back in yourself-two lines at the start, and then two lines of lyrics replacing each section break (basically replace each XXX with two lines of lyrics). Sorry the story has been gutted like this. There are SPOILERS through the end of Kyoryuger, as well as lots of blatant speculation about how the Nosan/Candelira relationship could have gone. The song used was "Fallen" by Delirium, and can be found here: watch?v=UwED28ut5WY
XXX
She remembers his name—or is it really his name?
No, the name that echoes through her isn't really his, she doesn't think, but it belongs to him, in the way that all names belong to someone.
Perhaps that is why she is like this. It has been too long since she has been able to give her real name—too long since she has worn her real face.
She has tried too hard to be something that she isn't, and now she doesn't recognize the face that stares out at her from every reflective surface.
Now she has neither a human disguise to go with the not-her-name that she can almost but not quite remember and no name to go with the face that stares back at her from the shop-front.
But she does know his name—or the shadow of his name—and she knows that he will find her. He will come for her. He will save her, as he always does.
"I'm here, Nossan." She whispers the words as she hugs herself, alone on the dark street, her back to the reflection that shows a half-lie. She does not want to look at that image any longer. "Please find me."
XXX
Nossan asked Candelira to marry him a year after the battle ended.
He did it in typical Nossan fashion—extravagant and adorable and absolutely perfect. She wore her human facade for the duration of the date. He hadn't asked her to—he didn't need to. They were out amongst other humans, and the other humans were terrified of her true form still.
She can't blame them, really. Though Aigaron tried to sweep the blame for all that Deboth did off her and Luckiero, Candelira was a general in the army that destroyed one dominant life-form and attempted to repeat the process centuries later.
None of that mattered, though, as Nossan dropped down to one knee. His tie was a blue deeper than the twilight and his suit the black of a silent night as he held out a ring to her.
"It would make me very merry..." He had to swallow before he could continue, and his voice was shaking more than it ever had during their battles. "...if you would agree to marry me."
She laughed for a good thirty seconds before saying yes and throwing her arms around him, the beautiful, perfect, glorious human who dared to love a monster.
XXX
"Candelira!"
She hears his voice screaming the word, and because it is his voice she is able to grasp around the fragmented memory edges that she is cutting herself to pieces on and recognize that the name is hers.
That is what she has been called for eons and ages.
That is the name that he has called her when they are alone, when they are with the other Kyoryugers, when they are anywhere other than in the midst of human crowds.
How silly, in a way. She can claim her name most easily among the ones that she hurt the most directly—among the ones that she fought directly against—but not amongst the general populace. She can drop her human facade and be a monster in front of the men who bonded with those she helped murder, but not in a theatre.
"I can't be seen without being a scene." She reaches a hand up to touch her not-human features, and feels her eyes burning in a way that would mean tears if she were human. A giggle that is half sob slides out of her, and she stumbles to her feet, needing the man who called her name.
XXX
She took to staying in her human form after they married.
He didn't ask her to. He never asked her to, just as he never asked her to laugh at his jokes and she never asked him to laugh at hers, even when they were terrible. There were some things they just did for each other—did because it made them feel better, because it made the other happy, because it made life easier.
He was always so tense when she was in her Deboth form, always so alert and aware—not necessarily because of her, but because of what she represented. He trusted her not to hurt anyone—she hoped, mostly—but he didn't trust others not to try to hurt her. If Daigo was there Nobuhara tended to relax more, because Daigo could shame others into decent behavior with a few loud choice words, but Daigo didn't live with them.
A child who lost her father to monsters and a woman who worried for her brother's safety lived with them, and Candelira learned fast that they were calmer and happier when she was in her human seeming.
Her appearance wasn't that high a price to pay for Nobuhara's family's happiness, after all.
XXX
She was never actually human, though.
She has seen centuries come and go. She has seen worlds rise and fall. She has helped destroy worlds—or at least watched as worlds were destroyed, a silent source of strength for Deboth.
She rode a ship like a falling star and was frozen in time and woke to a world that had changed so much.
She remembers, as his footfalls come closer. She remembers who she was—who the face that has stared at her from mirrors for the last few hours belongs to.
She remembers, and she tries to pull her human form around her but it won't come, it won't stick, and another breathless sob breaks from her.
What is wrong with her? Why does she feel like this—miserable, empty, hollowed out, pulled to the limits of her endurance and beyond? Why does trying to pull her human form around herself feel like pulling burning nails across her bare flesh?
For a moment she thinks about running. She thinks about leaving, until she can remember more, until she can explain what is happening.
But then his voice sounds again.
She turns to it without thinking, and his arms wrap tight around her...
XXX
"Here, hold this, take this." His words are a babble she can barely follow, but is hands and his arms she understands.
Leaning into his hold, she lets him lower them both to the ground, lets the chill of the asphalt-covered earth, the earth that humans kill but that she was a monster for wanting to own, seep into her body. There are no shivers, though, because even as the cold dives in so does his warmth, the sheltering cradle of his arms, and she curls her too-large body in an effort to make it fit against his.
"Candelira, hold this, please." His hands fumble with hers, wrapping her fingers around a cylinder, and she doesn't fight him. She does as his body asks her to, clutching the tiny warm thing close to her chest.
A burst of light, tinted just faintly with blue, washes from the tiny device over her. It illuminates Nobuhara's drawn, terrified features, shows her monstrous form reflected in the depths of his teary eyes.
The light dives into her, filling the emptiness, Stegotchi's power in place of what was missing.
In the space of seconds, in the warmth of light and hand, she remembers.
XXX
She remembers how she became more and more tired, a slow creep day by day that seeped into her bones and dulled her senses. She remembers thinking it was just the stress of living a human life. She remembers thinking it was just the stress of learning all that she could so that she didn't embarrass Nossan. She remembers thinking that if she can just keep going, just keep learning, she will eventually be as human as the rest of his family, and worthy of the alms that is his arms holding her in the night.
She remembers him asking her why she giggled, and telling him the pun, and him laughing and holding her as he kissed her (human) mouth soundly before sweeping her up and carrying her off to bed.
She remembers Yuko, shaking her head and prowling into the kitchen where Candelira had somehow managed to set a pot on fire. She remembers the way the human woman held her hand and guided her through the steps of making a cake, smiling at the end.
She remembers Rika, the little girl throwing her arms around Canderlira's (human) form, hugging her tightly, saying she is a wonderful aunt.
XXX
She remembers the battle.
She remembers Nobuhara suiting up, the transformation washing over him as though it has been hours and not years since he fought.
She remembers the buildings shaking, the humans screaming, the sounds of battle that she had thought they left behind forever once more loud in her ears.
She remembers running into the fray, needing to stand at Nossan's side—needing to be of assistance.
It had been easy for her, falling back into her battle stance. It had been easy to summon the words, to make the gestures, to prepare everything she would need.
When she went to cast her attack, though, there was no power there to throw. The well that had always overflowed with energy was empty, drained dry.
She remembers Nobuhara screaming for her to run, to dodge; she remembers her human feet skidding on rubble; she remembers...
She remembers his scream of agony as he took a blow that was meant for her, his armor flickering around him.
She remembers taking up her stance again, and this time reaching beyond the empty well, into her very essence, and throwing all that she had at the monsters that wanted to destroy her happiness.
XXX
She remembers, and she smiles up at the man who has saved her sanity and quite possibly her life by finding her now. The night is dark and the shadows seem to be heavy around his face, too heavy, and she brushes at them as well as at his curly, wild hair.
Taking a deep breath, she reaches into the aching depths of herself and tries, once more, to pull her human guise around her. This time, it comes.
"No."
Nobuhara's panicked command breaks her concentration, and the tiny human hand touching his cheek shifts once more to a thick monster's paw.
"Whoa, my love." His voice is thick with tears as he strokes at her face. "I can't take any more woe right now, so whoa."
She giggles, a low, half-hysterical sound, and uses her right hand to try to stem the flow of noise. "But—"
"I'm sorry, Candelira." There is utter sincerity in his eyes as he watches her, a burning ache that cuts her more than anything else could. "I should have seen what you were doing to yourself. I shouldn't have needed Yayoi to explain it. And I should have stopped it a long time ago."
XXX
"But—"
"No buts." His arms tighten around her again, a protective, fierce embrace that she could sink into for eternity. "You're not human. I've known that for a long time. I asked an alien to marry me, and she said yes, and that's who I want. I don't want you throwing all your power into being something you're not. I don't want you burning your life pretending to be human when you're absolutely perfect the way you are."
"Nobuhara." Her right hand is still over her mouth, covering her words, but that's all right, because she doesn't know what to say. How can she thank him for saying words that she didn't know she needed to hear? "It will... make things harder for you."
"No." He smiles at her. "No, it won't. And if I let it, have Daigo hit me. Because this is what I chose. This is what I want. You, my beautiful fallen star, for as long as you'll have me."
She'll have him forever. She'll have him for as long as he lives—because he will, almost certainly, die before her, on a sword or of old age.
He is here now, though, and she leans forward—
XXX
The kiss is everything she could ever dream of it being, his human lips against her not-human ones. He doesn't hesitate, eager and loving and as kind as he has been from the beginning.
When they break apart they are both smiling, and a thrill of butterflies like flickering joy flies through her at the look in his eyes.
His eyes seem to shine brighter as he runs a hand down her cheek again. "Shall I let you wrest the rest from me here, or shall we go home?"
"I should make you run laps for that lapse in decorum."
He grins as he stands and helps her to her feet, and his hands are just as kind on her Deboth form as they have been on her human one. His smile fades when they're both standing, both her hands in his, and his expression is utterly grave as he stares across the dark night between them into her eyes. "I do mean it, Candelira. You're wonderful. Don't do anything that might hurt yourself for the sake of people who are too thick to understand what you've given up."
If there is a word for the feeling that wells up in her, warm and prickly and just slightly gooey, sticking to the whole of her chest, she doesn't know what it is. Joy and love can only cover so much, after all. "I've given up hell to find my way to heaven."
"Then if I may have the pleasure of escorting my angel home?"
He leads her by the hand, the warm Stegotchi battery clutched tight between their interlocking fingers, and she knows that all the decisions she has ever made must have been the right ones, because they have led her here, to this moment.
To happiness.
To joy.
To Nobuhara, at her side in light and darkness, and there is nothing else she needs in all the universe.