Hey look, a story. Came to me last night when i found a dead fly at my window. Xander and Cordelia belong to Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel, created by joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. But I think you knew that. I just didn't want to get sued.
CRUNCH.
Xander grimaced as he rolled out of bed onto the giant cockroach. He sighed and peeled it off his foot. "It could be worse," he mumbled, "you could be a male stripper." At least he had a bed, and a hot plate. His parents' basement wasn't ideal living, but who was he? Rich, fancy pants Cordelia? Ahh, Cordy. He thought about his ex every now and again. I bet. Xander mused. I bet she's living it up in LA. No demons. No vampires. No cockroaches. He tip toed around a mysterious carpet stain, and shrugged on a t-shirt. No me. Happier than a bug in a rug. Or whatever that phrase was.
"AHHH!" It was the end of a work day for Angel Investigations, and as Cordelia Chase sat down to watch some TV, she found a huge cockroach crawling over the white noise screen. "Yeah, well of course." She mumbled. With a groan, Cordelia picked up the phone and dialed the landlord. "Hello? This is Cordelia Chase from apartment 4B. I thought you were going to have the exterminator in here today." There was a crappy reception fuzz on the other end. Damn. Cordelia thought. Life sucks. But at least I'm not in Sunnydale.
"Yeah." Whispered Xander to himself. Living large.