Levi really should have seen this coming.
He knew that Eren's foster sister was protective of him. Hell, it was difficult not to know, since Ackerman didn't really bother to keep it a secret.
He just wasn't aware exactly how overprotective the woman was.
It wasn't like Eren hadn't warned him, either - "My sister is a good person, Levi," he'd said, biting his lip nervously, "but she's a little - well -concerned about me. And, um, I've never been with anyone before, so -"
(He never got to finish that sentence, though - and, Levi maintained, it was Eren's own damn fault for being so damned adorable with that whole lip-biting thing)
"Corporal Levi, sir," a voice drawled, successfully bringing him out of his Eren-induced stupor. He blinked, and turned around to see Ackerman looking - no, glaring at him.
"I need to talk to you."
Levi wasn't one to get intimidated easily, but Ackerman's expression made him begin to fear for his personal safety.
"What is it, Ackerman?" He adopted what he hoped was his usual cool, somewhat bored tone. The recruit's eyes narrowed, and her hands unconsciously slid to where her blades were situated.
"Alone."
He noticed that at this point there was more than one person watching with transfixed horror. He didn't blame them - the girl looked downright murderous at this point.
It took all of his self-restraint (which was quite a lot) not to run away screaming.
"What's going on?"
Eren walked into the dining hall only to find it deadly silent, with everybody - even Sasha - having seemingly forgotten about their food and were currently transfixed on two figures who were walking out of the dining hall.
Two very familiar figures, he realised with a sense of growing dread. Hoping that his fears were wrong, he turned urgently to Connie, who was sitting at one of the nearby tables and was, like everyone else, seemingly petrified in terror and awe.
"What's going on, Connie?"
The boy blinked, coming to his senses. He pointed at the two retreating figures with some trepidation. "Mikasa and the Corporal went to have a...a talk, Eren. I think you'd better -"
Eren tuned him out. He gazed fearfully at his foster sister and sort-of boyfriend, and wondered if he should be worried.
Maybe nothing happened. Maybe Mikasa is just, like, asking him about Titan-killing methods or something. Maybe I'm just being overly paranoid -
They entered the room, and the taller of the two figures slammed the door behind them with a resounding bang. The entire hall flinched.
Oh, to the hell with it. Eren sprinted off to the direction of the pair, and fervently hoping that the terrifying twosome hadn't busted out with the lethal weapons yet.
"Ackerman, is this really necessary?"
The girl glowered down at him - literally, given that she was a good ten centimetres taller than him. "No shit, Corporal. Trust me, I don't particularly want to be this close to you, either." In an ordinary situation, Levi would have long ago resorted to physical retaliation, but there were several factors to take into consideration.
Like, the fact that Eren would definitely not be happy if he laid a finger on his precious sister.
And also that, from what he'd heard from the instructors, he doubted Ackerman would sit quietly and take the beating.
"Now, tell me -" She approached in a terrifyingly predatory manner - "what are you doing with my brother?"
He forced his expression to remain cool and bored. "Nothing much."
"Oh?"
His back finally hit the wall, and his hands gripped the solid surface for stability, for once disregarding the dust. He shrugged with as much nonchalance as he could muster. "Fucked him once or twice."
Wrong answer, asshole. Her eyes flashed, and before he could so much as react, her fist was flying towards his gut at a dizzying speed. He managed to avoid it just in time, and judging by the sound that Ackerman's fist made when it met the wall, he'd managed to avoid a few broken ribs, as well.
"Are you playing with my brother, Corporal?"
No. "Maybe," he replied in his customary dry, somewhat bored tone that was removed of all emotion, his eyes darting around to try and find a means of escape. Another fist flew towards him - this time in the face. Sadly, he didn't quite manage to avoid it this time, and it was only thanks to years of experience at hand-to-hand combat that he managed to avoid getting his face smashed into his skull.
It took all his self-control not to visibly flinch, because damn, this girl was strong. The instructors weren't kidding when they said Mikasa Ackerman had a talent that ranged between dangerous and borderline nuclear.
Maybe I shouldn't have said that - wait, I'm her superior. I have the right to deny her information if I want to, especially since she's just made two attempts to fucking kill me -
Thankfully, they were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Um - Mikasa?" A tentative voice called out. "Levi - I mean, uh, Corporal?"
Mikasa didn't take her eyes off him. "Oh, you're on a first-name basis now, then?" she hissed. The knocking intensified.
"Mikasa, open up!"
Ignoring him, she glared at Levi. "One more time - are you playing with my brother?"
The knocking paused, Eren evidently having heard the question. Levi sighed. He couldn't very well lie to the boy's face, could he? "No," he muttered.
The knocking resumed. "Mikasa, please!"
Ackerman sighed as well. She backed off, not looking away from Levi as she opened the door. Eren stumbled in, and looked visibly relieved that there were no drawn blades yet - until he caught sight of the bruise on Levi's cheek.
"Oh my God, Levi, are you all right?" He turned a reproachful look onto his foster sister, who didn't looked in the slightest bit perturbed or guilty.
"I told you not to beat him up, Mikasa!"
"I didn't," the girl replied, and with a glare at Levi, "unfortunately. I did try, though."
Eren shook his head and sighed.
"He implied that he was playing with you!" Mikasa defended herself. Levi flinched at the hurt in Eren's eyes, and was tempted to punch the girl in her stupid mouth.
"Is that true, sir?" Levi noted the revertion back to titles with a strange clench in his chest.
"Wait, Eren -"
When he made no attempt to deny it, the boy's face cleared of emotion. "I understand, sir." Neither of them attempted to stop him as he left the room, slamming the door behind him louder than strictly necessary.
Levi's eyes narrowed at Mikasa. "Oh, now you've done it."
Ackerman looked neither satisfied nor guilty. "You asked for it, punk."
"No-one," Levi hissed, "gets in the fucking way between Eren and me." He shifted into a stance that Mikasa recognised as one that was all offense. His tone had abandoned all pretense of being bored and cool, and his eyes were filled with barely restrained rage.
"No-one plays with my brother, either," Mikasa retorted.
Later, both recruit and corporal were reported to the sick bay, both sporting a number of impressive injuries, but still making attempts at throwing punches at each other that required intervention from a few of the recruits (the small blonde and Jean Kirschtein, Levi remembered, and made a metal note to get his revenge later) and Petra Ral, the self-appointed nurse of Levi's squad.
xx
"Oh my God, what the hell happened to you?"
Eren's shriek echoed throughout the castle. Levi and Mikasa winced, and glared at each other without saying anything.
"Keep it down, Eren, you're giving me a headache," Mikasa complained. Eren rushed over to her bedside and began fussing over her, and it was clear, as much as she complained, that she loved being the one fussed over for a change.
"Are you all right? Is anything broken? Oh my God, what the hell happened, seriously! I thought everything was resolved when Levi -" Eren swallowed, and corrected himself - "the Corporal made it clear that he was...was..."
"Playing with you," Mikasa supplied unhelpfully. Eren recoiled from his sister, and it was only due to his three broken ribs and fractured arm that Levi was able to stop himself from getting up and resuming the brawl.
Eren avoided his eyes, and Levi noted, pained, that he looked particularly depressed at that.
"Eren," he began, and was cut off by Ackerman's hissing of "you have no right to call him that."
"Eren," he repeated, ignoring the girl, "I was not playing with you. I am not, have never been, and do not plan on ever playing with you. Okay?"
Eren raised his head, meeting Levi's eyes with some reluctance. Mikasa snorted. "Prove it, you punk."
Eren seemed slightly taken aback by the blatant disrespect and unrestrained venom in his sister's tone. "Mikasa!"
Levi glared at her for a second, then appeared to wilt slightly. "Three broken ribs, a fractured arm and a few hundred bruises aren't enough to prove that I do give a shit about you, brat?"
"And a split lip," Ackerman supplied.
"Oh, you just wait until I get out of this bed, you piece of shit -"
"Shut up, you two," Eren snapped, and they fell silent. "He has a point, you know, Mikasa."
"He didn't get beaten up for you," Mikasa hissed, "he got beaten up because I beat him up."
"Tell that to your fractured limbs, Ackerman!"
She looked petulant, and Eren looked more conflicted than ever. He finally retreated, muttering "I'll see you guys later."
As soon as he left, Levi lunged at Mikasa, broken ribs be damned. He felt a shooting pain in his torso, which was almost worth the satisfaction he felt from Ackerman's shriek as his fist collided with her cheekbone.
"Corporal! Ackerman! Break it up right now!" came Petra's cry, that at this point was becoming annoyingly familiar. She dragged Levi back to his bed and glared at him severely.
"Do you want to be stuck in this bed for the next three months, Corporal?"
Levi looked sulkily at the floor. "She was asking for it."
"And you're asking for this." Petra brandished a disturbingly large needle, that in exactly four and half seconds had Levi successfully sedated and drifting off into a state of sleepy half-consciousness.
Petra turned to Mikasa and her gaze softened slightly. "Mikasa, by now you probably realise that Levi really does love Eren."
A snort came from the other bed. "'Love' is a somewhat of a stretch, Petra," Levi said in a slight slur. Petra glared at him.
"Levi acts tough and cool and emotionless, but it's obvious that he truly does care for your brother."
Mikasa tried to cross her arms, flinched at the pain, and, defeated, settled for looking scary and intimidating. Petra didn't look much perturbed.
"You have to learn to accept them, Mikasa."
"Whatever." Petra nodded pointedly at Levi's direction, and Mikasa sighed.
"I'll call a truce with you, punk," Mikasa mumbled, and then her tone became sharp. "But if you dare to hurt Eren - physically, emotionally, mentally, I don't fucking care -" She ignored Petra's admonishment of "Language!", and went on - "I will punch your stupid face into your pathetic excuse for a brain. And then kill you," she added as an afterthought.
Mikasa could practically hear Levi's smirk. "Whatever, Ackerman. As if you could really hurt me anyway - ow! Petra, fucking stop that!"
"Don't make me sedate you again, Corporal."
It was a full two days before Eren dared to visit again, and this time he did so with some trepidation, having heard about Levi's attack after his previous visit. This time, Petra was in the room, carefully monitoring their exchange in case of another incident of sudden violence from either Mikasa or Levi.
"Are you guys all right?" he asked tentatively.
No response. Mikasa glared pointedly at Levi.
"I'm sorry for beating up your sister and implying that I was playing with you because I'm fucking not, I was just trying to mess with her head."
Mikasa snorted. "Yeah, right, you were just trying to act tough." At Petra's look, she shut up.
Levi continued, "I really do c-care about you, Eren. Even your thick-skulled dimwit of a sister managed to grasp that concept. Somewhat." He ignored Mikasa's noise of outrage.
Eren stayed silent. Finally, he spoke up - "You're sure, then?"
Levi scoffed. "Idiot, I managed to re-break another of my ribs just for you. Feel honoured."
Eren looked horrified, and rushed over to Levi. "You what? Shit, Levi, you have to stop trying to beat up my sister, it's not going to end well, ever -"
Levi interrupted Eren's speech with a disbelieving, "you think she's stronger than me?"
Mikasa looked smug. "He's got the right idea, then."
"Stop it, both of you," Eren intervened. "You're both scary strong, and you're both really important to me, so stop trying to kill each other, okay?"
Mikasa looked petulant. Levi glared.
"Whatever," they finally relented at the same time, and glowered at each other.
"Okay, I really have to leave, so..." He kissed Levi chastely on the lips, making Mikasa cough and Levi turn slightly red. He smiled at his sister and hugged her gently, so as not to cause any more damage.
"Don't kill each other while I'm gone!" With a cheery wave, he left.
"...I'm going to puke."
"Shut the fuck up, Ackerman."
I initially posted this on AO3, and decided to post it here as well just because. For more SnK fanfiction, check out my AO3 (ilydaa).