The More I Drink

Hey y'all! This is "The More I Drink." You can probably guess that it's a songfic. If you can't, well; now you know. I'm writing this because of a bet.. Yeah, I know. What kind of losers make bets relating to fanficiton? Well, my friends and I do. I made a wager with my friend (novemberashe), claiming I could get chapter 5 of Moulin Glee (my story, for those of you who haven't read it..) posted by 10:30pm tonight, in addition to a oneshot. So, I had my work cut out for me… But, I managed! This is posted, and so is chapter 5! I WIN, HUZZAH! Hope you enjoy this! It was an idea that came to me while listening to Blake Shelton while cleaning my room.

…Oh, and anything you recognize? It's probably not mine. Glee isn't mine. Neither is the Blake Shelton song this is based off of… Bye! Enjoy! Review!

He was sittin' at the bar, sippin' on a regular Coke.
We were drinkin' and smokin' and makin' him the butt of our jokes.
We all said, "Man, what happened to you? Why can't you just have a few?"
He said, "I would if I could, but it's probably best that I don't."

Sebastian Smythe was not a lightweight. He knew that for a fact. It was something that annoyed all his drinking buddies, but it gave Sebastian endless amusement. After all, he needed to be slightly sober in order to enjoy all the stupid things the obnoxiously drunk people around him did. It was just another Tuesday in New York city when Sebastian found Kurt Hummel in his favorite bar.

"Well, if it isn't Kurt Gay-Face Hummel! What brings you to this part of town? Blaine finally leave you for someone more... masculine?"

Kurt turned in his barstool, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised. He twirled the straw in his glass and smirked at Sebastian.

"Nice to see you too, Sebastian. How's life treating you? Still chasing after men who would never be caught dead next to your scrunched up meerkat face and CW hair?"

Sebastian's friends laughed, which caused him to spin around and glare at them.

"Guys. Really?"

"Sorry, dude. But you gotta admit, that was funny." said Steve, one of the many guys that frequented the same bars as he did. Sebastian glared at him, which caused the smile that had graced Steve's lips to disappear.

"Wow, Sebastian. Even your own friends agree that you look like a meerkat. I can only imagine what they say about you when you're not in the room."

Sebastian turned around, and walked over to the barstool next to Kurt. He sat down with a frown on his face.

"At least I'm not alone in a bar, drowning my sorrows." He said, gesturing at Kurt's drink, which caused Kurt to laugh. The fact that he laughed, was enough to cause Sebastian to seethe inside. First Kurt had the balls to insult him, and then he laughed at him? There was no way Sebastian was going to take that. Sebastian opened his mouth to retaliate, but Kurt began to talk over Sebastian before he got a syllable out.

"Au contraire Sebastian; for you see, I'm not drinking tonight. I needed to escape my apartment and my obnoxious roommate, and I know for a fact that this bar has great onion rings."

Sebastian couldn't help but smirk at that. Really? He was here for onion rings?Sebastian didn't believe it in the slightest.

"Bull. No one goes to a bar just for food. They come to cruise, and get smashed out of their minds. They don't come for onion rings. Seriously, what happened to you? Why can't you just have a few shots or something?"

Kurt frowned, his bravado slipping slightly. He took a sip of his coke, and then turned to look at Sebastian again.

"If you really must know, I'm going through a breakup, and I thought watching people do stupid crap while intoxicated would amusing."

Sebastian frowned, for he hadn't exactly expected Kurt to give him an answer at all. Let alone a personal one. It took Sebastian a moment to truly register what Kurt had said, but when he did, he couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face.

"Break up? With whom? Mr. Sex on a Stick, right? Why'd he dump your porcelain ass anyway? Tired of you being a prude?"

"No." spat Kurt. "I got tired of him being a cheating asshole, and dumped his ass to the curb last month."

Sebastian sat back, dumbfounded. Not only had he not expected that, but he also hadn't expected to find the venom behind Kurt's words so.. Well, sexy.

"Damn, Hummel."

Kurt rolled his eyes, and then knocked back the rest of his coke. He sighed as he set down the glass, and then rubbed his forehead.

"Damn, indeed."

They both sat in silence for a moment. Sebastian's friends had long since abandoned him to go flirt with girls by the karaoke machine, which left them uninterrupted until the bartender walked over to Sebastian.

"What are you having?"

"A jack and coke."

"And your friend?"

Sebastian couldn't help at scoff at the fact that the bartender thought he and Kurt were friends, and he also couldn't help the smile that spread across his face when he heard Kurt scoff as well. Sebastian turned and smirked at Kurt.

"Yeah; friend. Are you going to have a drink or not?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, and shook his head.

"I would if I could, but it's probably best that I don't, Sebastian."

Well? What do y'all think? Should I post more? Scrap it entirely? Hmm? Review please? It'll make my night. (And for those of you who haven't read my other story, please go check out Moulin Glee! I'm up to chapter 5 right now! Woot.)