Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else you recognize in any of the following chapters. All rights go to their rightful owners!

My Fly Enemy and Me

Harry Potter was sitting in the Gryffindor common room, when he heard a loud popping noise.

"Merlin's iPod!" He exclaimed, jumping out of his chair. He automatically looked to Hermione. "What was that?"

"Well, I hope I'm wrong, but it sounded like the apparation shield was broken."

"But-how is that possible?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, Dumbledore-"

"Dumbledore died, Ron," Hermione said. "Anything can happen."

There was another loud crash.

"Merlin's DS!" Harry said, standing. "That sounded closer!"

The fat lady's portrait burst into the room.

"Merlin's cell phone!"

"Wrong!" a cold voice said. "It is I, Lord Voldemort!"

"That's fly," Harry said, leaning against the wall.

"That's...what?" Voldemort said, scratching his head with his wand.

"Fly," Harry said. "Merlin's-"

"Enough with Merlin's technology, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

"What? I was gonna say Merlin's Shorts...Anyway, you don't know what 'fly' is?"

"Voldemort does not like being confused. Explain to me what this 'fly' is."

"Fly," Harry said. "What is fly? Well, it's-it's sort of like-well, I'll show you."

Harry jumped onto the back of the his chair and sang, "F is for fire, as in, 'I'm really hot,' L is for look at me, please, Y is for you all love me cuz I am the boy who lived! Now you try!"

"This is completely idiotic!"

"I said try! Imperio!"

"F is for follow as in you'll follow me or you will die, L is for the loser that I'm not, Y is for you know who-o; don't say my name or you'll die!"

"What! That is not what fly is all about! Now this way-"

Harry took Voldemorts wand and put it down and took his hand.

"F is for fire as in I'm really hot, L is for look at me, please, Y is for you all love me, cuz I am the boy who lived!"

"I feel all...tingly. And appreciated. Should we stop?"

"No! It feels great, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, let's do it again!"

Hermione and Ron watched the two with eyes wide open, mouth agape. "Merlin's toaster..." Hermione breathed."

"What's a toaster?"

"F is for fruit baskets from all my followers, L is for lying cuz I can, Y is for yelling, having fun, and no rules, my fly enemy and me!"