Why Panic! At the Disco Broke Up
This was based on a Tumblr post by openupalittlehappiness. I decided to add a little more lines than the post, but pretty much, it's all the same. The link to the post is on my profile.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Guys, remember, before I get tons of hate mail about this, chill, ok? I'm a huge, huge fan of PATD, and I did this as a joke. No harm done, okay? And I'm still peeved that Jon and Ryan split, even though it happened like, three years ago.
And with that note!
With love from Nowhere,
~St. Ryro
It was just a typical evening in the Panic! at the Disco van. Ryan was doing vocal exercises and jamming on his guitar on a chair near the couch and Brendon was playing Guitar Hero. Spencer and Jon were sitting on the couch, huddled under two baby blue blankets with two buckets of butter-coated popcorn each, watching the movie, the Notebook. They both had tears running down their faces and their noses were running.
"That was so sweet," Jon sniffled, wiping his tear-stained face on the blanket as the final credits rolled. Spencer nodded in agreement, seeming unable to speak.
Ryan looked up from his guitar and smirked in response. "I bet," was all he said before turning back to whatever he was playing before. Jon rolled his puffy eyes, grabbing a movie from the shelf besides them.
Brendon, obviously oblivious to the conversation going on around him, let out a tremendous cheer, startling Jon who had been putting Titanic into the TV. He dropped the DVD case and then cursed, crouching down to retrieve it.
As soon as the disc was in the player, Jon and Spencer settled back on the couch, equipped with a fresh bucket of buttery popcorn, ready to watch the movie and start crying again. But neither got the chance to as Ryan started strumming a tune on his guitar that resembled the Beatles', Baby You Can Drive My Car. It was different, but it still had some of the same elements, the same beat.
Seeming pleased by this, Ryan looked up and grinned and then asked, "Is it good?" Jon nodded, hitting pause on the movie that still hadn't even started yet. Brendon, who had finished with Guitar Hero, had come over to join Spencer and Jon on the couch. He snagged a handful of popcorn from Spencer's bucket and, after shoving it in his mouth, quickly moved in for another one, but stopped as Spencer slapped his hand away.
"The Beatles, right?" he asked. "Baby You Can Drive My Car?"
"Yeah, Paul McCartney, Richard Starkey, George Harrison and John Lennon. The Beatles," Ryan replied, casually fingering a few of the guitar strings, making tiny noises sound in the guitar.
Brendon, being as bored as he usually is, decided to aggravate Ryan for some entertainment, Ryan being a huge supporter and lover of the Beatles. Little did he know he would get a much bigger reaction than he expected out of Ryan. A reaction that could change the world forever (dramatic music).
Brendon giggled, shifting on the couch a little bit. He pretended like he didn't hear the last part of what Ryan said so clearly. "So, like, it's John Lemon?" Ryan made a face at this, clearly ticked off.
"No, Brendon. It's John Lennon." Rolling his eyes at the complete absurdity of the whole "Lemon" thing, Ryan turned back to his guitar, playing the opening chords to Build God, Then We'll Talk.
The four sat in silence, Jon and Spencer quietly sobbing and sniffling at the movie, Brendon trying to think of more ways to aggravate Ryan further and Ryan just playing random things on his guitar.
Finally, after five minutes of silence, Brendon spoke up, trying to stifle his silent laughs.
"So, is it John Lemon or John Lernon?"
"Brendon…..it's John Lennon. Not Lernon or Lemon, heck, not even Lashiqwa! Lennon, John Lennon, okay Bren?" Ryan said tersely, as though he was talking to a first grader. His voice was calm but it held an edge to it, as if he was holding back from getting angry and full-out cussing at Brendon.
"So it's John Lemon?" Brendon giggled. Jon and Spencer, catching onto what had been happening, had turned off the TV and had begun listening with rapt attention. Jon had looked as if, like Ryan, Brendon was pissing him off. Spencer just had an amused expression on his face, clearly enjoying it.
Ryan made a face that could be only described as a "bitch face." "It's Lennon. John Lennon."
"Lemon?"Brendon asked incredulously. By now, everyone could practically see steam beginning to come out of Ryan's ears, his face turning red.
"Dammit, Brendon! I am leaving this band until you learn how to say John Lennon correctly!" And with that, Ryan stood up, gathered his stuff and walked out the van door.
The remaining members of Panic! at the Disco sat in stunned silence, each of them not believing what had just happened. Spencer was the first to speak, but only in a startled whisper. "Whoa!"
Jon stood up. "I'm leaving too." Spencer and Jon stared at him, both not quite comprehending.
And on that note, Jon left Panic! at the Disco, along with Ryan, and helped form the lovely band we know today as, The Young Veins.
And to this day, my children, Brendon never did learn how to say John "Lennon" correctly…
Or did he?