A/N: Just a little drabble to get you guys by until I post the next chapter of 'Reincarnation with a Twist'. I have it all done but I keep changing the opening scene because it's hard to guage how Sess would react in that situation.
I also have an Epilogue for 'To Know, To Will, To Dare, To Keep Silent' and a final chap to 'Something Different' to post.
Check out mine and SonjaJade's co-authored fic 'The Visit' on her profile here on ffnet!
Also: Now that I'm above 400 faves, I'm going to just make my own website where you guys can find ALL my fic in ONE PLACE as opposed to having TLC on mediaminer and some of my more 'adult' fic on adultfanfiction dot net.
Disclaimer: I make no money from this fic
Sometimes the dark cloud isn't worth the silver lining.
"Ah, but you have mastered your meidou, shouldn't you be just a little happy?"
Sesshoumaru stared at the hateful woman, and then down and the cursed hunk of fang held in his only hand.
No. The meidou was no consolation for the loss he'd suffered in attaining it.
Didn't he already say it? Nothing could ever be worth the cost of Rin's life!
He could find no solace in something so meaningless; not when the thing that meant the most to him was gone.
Power became meaningless when stacked against the weight of her smile.
One of her schemes, he thought angrily, wondering if when he'd brought a very human girl before his mother… If, instead of her son, she'd seen her late husband standing before her.
That wraith had said it too… Right after he'd attempted to cut Rin down, he'd said it… "She is Izayoi! They are all Izayoi!"
At the time, he'd thought that bastard had meant his brother's wench, but now, looking back… It had been Rin he'd tried to kill, as Izayoi's effigy.
But why Rin?
"When these blades cross… I know all your secrets…"
Anyone who'd ever tried to hurt him… Had used her to do it; and now, his mother was just the same.
"You knew, that this would happen to Rin." His eyes were narrow and his jaw set; but, he would not show weakness before her. He would turn on his heel and walk away, his pride preserved.
It was the only thing he could do, at the moment.
Sesshoumaru's mother scented the despair, the heartbreak, the loneliness and her heart softened. She really hadn't known the girl would really die… She'd thought that if her son revived a human girl with Tenseiga that it would be enough to master the meidou, and, in the process, he would learn compassion for others.
She didn't realize how far he'd already come, but yet, how far he still had to go.
Why had it been this way? Why had he not mastered the sword when he'd first revived the girl?
Suddenly, the Lady understood.
His desire to revive the girl was not a selfless act of compassion… Sesshoumaru had a personal stake in wishing this girl to live; his desire to see her happy, healthy, and safe was a selfish one.
He loved the girl and it would hurt him to see her dead.
"Sesshoumaru… When your heart wishes to save your beloved's life, you must also at that moment feel sadness and fear."
Sadness and… fear?
He feared nothing!
No… That wasn't true. In that moment, when she'd been a lifeless ragdoll in his arm, he's been truly afraid… Afraid of never seeing her again, of… having to live on without her.
His own death, his own life, had been inconsequential at the moment he'd decided to dismiss his mother's warnings that if he went into that darkness he would never return.
Either he would bring her back, or he would spend eternity in that blackened pit with nothing but her rotting corpse to keep him company because… He could not live with himself if he could not live with her.
This… was his fault.
I didn't have to bring her with me…
No. He'd wanted to bring her with him.
I should have left her in a village…
Yes, but he'd been selfish and arrogant and let his own desire for her company take precedent over her safety.
Remorse flooded his scent, and the Lady of the Western Lands heaved a heavy sigh. She could not let it end like this. If he lost the girl… Who knew what would become of him? However, if he got to keep her, especially after all that had happened.
He will finally know the worth of a life.
"Do not think I will show such kindness again."
She reached for the necklace and returned her son's most precious person to the realm of the living… And she scented… Joy… emanating from her son.
"Rin…"
He shouldn't… should not show such weakness, such tenderness and care toward a human… He should not…
He heard her coughing and sputtering, and his eyes gleamed with tears that would never be shed.
"Sesshou…maru… sama…"
The first thing she did was call for him…
I'm here, Rin… Your Sesshoumaru-sama is here for you…
He reached a gentle hand toward her face, palmed her dirtied cheek, and buried his claws in her hair, "You're… alright now."
The words were more for his comfort than hers. A too wise to be a child's gaze focused on his flawless face, and the girl covered his large hand with her small one, giving a reassuring smile. "Yes."
The intimate moment, the energy passed between them… The way they focused only on each other with mutual adoration…
None of these things escaped the amused and watchful eyes of the Lady, "All this fuss over a single human girl…" She mused aloud.
As he descended the staircase, cherished child nipping at his heels, she called down to her son, "You have become like your father in the strangest way."
She didn't see the child blush, or the Dog Lord quirk his lips as he glanced down to where she now walked at his side like an equal.
I suppose I have…
He would not make the same mistakes again… Rin's safety was worth more to him than anything, and until she became older, she was safest in the village.
"Rin doesn't want to go! You said Rin can do as she wishes and Rin wishes to stay with Sesshoumaru-sama!"
Mokomoko slithered around her, and pulled her close as the girl watched the campfire burn down. It was her last night with him… At least for awhile.
"Rin, for now, you will remain here under the tutelage of the old miko; when you are older, you will have a choice to make, you may stay with your own kind, or… You may return with this Sesshoumaru."
"But how long? When can Rin come back?"
"On the day of your mogi… You may do as you wish."
The girl's cheeks turned bright red. Her… mogi? But that was to show you were old enough to find a husba-
The girl looked to the ground, and snuggled just a bit closer, "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama."
Another day, another week, another month, another expensive gift…