Author's Note: I realize what my story was missing. It needed everyone's POV. I hope you like my changes.
This story begins right after "Idyllwild" when Brandon and Callie first come back home. It's written through all of the Foster's perspectives.
"I'm just an Outlaw
wanted
If you want me"
Jude
After all of the homes Callie and I have gone through to get to this place I'm so ecstatic its here. She is finally going to be adopted too. We are both finally going to belong to this perfect family that we had always wanted. I couldn't wait til she got home from Idyllwild to tell her.
I was waiting in the kitchen when moms, and Rita when Mariana came in followed by Brandon and Callie. She had this look on her face of confusion as she looked around the room.
"Hey"
"Hey Brandon, hey Callie," Rita seemed to know something that she wouldn't share.
"Hey" came Brandon's voice.
Mom was try so hard to keep her composure as she told her. "Robin told me she talked to the girls at Girls United and she… she's recommending your adoption."
I looked at Callie and she looked happy but still so confused. Did she not understand what this means? We were finally going to both be a part of this lucky family.
Callie
Can this really be happening? A part of me wanted to jump up and down for joy, finally I get this dream family that me and Jude had been waiting for, for 7 years. I can't do this though, I can't be getting adopted after what just happened with Brandon last night. We had become one, we had made love he could never be a brother to me after that or I a sister to him after that. I couldn't break his and my heart. He love me and after everything I had put him though before, I can't do this. I can't be apart of this family not in the way I had been hoping to be.
As everyone was rushing up to give me a hug, the words just slipped out before I could catch them. "I can't"
Did I just really say that out loud? I did. There they were, the words that could change everything. Did I really mean them? I had to think this over.
When I looked into Stef and Lena's face, there was this look of utter disbelief like they couldn't believe what they had just heard.
"What did you say?" Lena looked at me in disbelief.
Could I really say it again? I knew I was hurting them but wouldn't I be lying to them everyday I called him my brother. What kind of person would I be if I did that? If I repeated lied to them and myself everyday…
"I can't get adopted, I just can't" mustering all of my strength I said. "I don't want to be adopted." The words just hung there in the silence. I knew I didn't mean that last part, I just needed some time to think this over.
I looked up at Brandon just wanting to get some kind of idea of what he was thinking. He just looked just as confused as I was.
I looked around at all of my family and I had to get out of that room so I ran back out of the front door to the porch I needed some air, some clarity, I needed to breath.
How could I do this after everything they did to adopt me, after I fought so hard to be adopted. I loved both of my moms and Mariana, Jesus, and Jude. Jude would never forgive me. How could he after everything we had been though to get here to get to this place. This place where we could finally be a real family again. How would he be able to understand, he will probably just think I'm being selfish again. He will never forgive me. Why couldn't I have just loved Wyatt if I had my life would be a lot simpler but I didn't love Wyatt and after what Brandon and I had just shared I wouldn't love anyone like I do him.
Brandon
I just stood there incomplete shock what had just happened? What did this mean for Callie and what would happen to her? I looked around the room at my family trying to understand what was happening, there were my moms, Mariana and Jude. They all looked so confused, like they couldn't believe it or understand it either. At least I knew why Callie would say that and part of me felt euphoric like that was her own personal declaration of love for me. There was another part though a part that as I looked from face to face of my family I knew understood as heartbreak for what she was giving up to say that. I knew all she had wanted was for a family to call her own and to have that with Jude. Could I really allow her to give that up after everything she had been through to get here? Before I could even go after her though…
I heard Jude's voice say, "I'll go talk to her." He looked caught off guard and it made me feel so guilty, I felt so bad for him. He had been so excited only a moment ago. All his dreams had been there about to come true. He and his sister were going to finally be in a real family together and now that dream was gone. I could see it in his eyes as he walked by me to get to the front door.
"Do you know why Callie wouldn't want to be adopted?"
I looked up at my mom searching trying to see if she knew anything, if Rita had told her or not. I couldn't tell if she had and I didn't want to tell her just in case Callie changed her mind, because I couldn't be the reason she lost her family. I loved her too much.
"Why ask me" I said, testing the waters.
"Oh I don't know maybe because she was with you and Mariana at Idyllwild last night." Okay so she didn't know, at least that was certain.
"Ya I may have been there but I went to straight to bed after I was with Matt." said Mariana.
"How are you guys doing? Did you guys get back together" I honestly didn't care but I desperately needed a change of subject.
"No." She looked so sad as she said that, that moms turned their attention to her.
"What happened, love?"
"Nothing I don't want to talk about it."
"Okay why don't you guys get out here. Momma and I need to talk."
I wanted so bad to go out on the porch with Callie and find out if what I thought was true or not, but Jude was and I didn't want to interrupt. So I just decided on going up stairs and waiting in my room until she could come to me, I was sure she would.
Jude
Hadn't we been through enough by now? There can't be anything else stopping her from being adopted, can there? I had to talk to her and find out was going on, this just doesn't make any sense.
As I walked out onto to the porch I saw her, she looked so miserable and defeated. What was going on? Her eyes were tearing up as I sat next to her, she had been through so much lately to get adopted, to be in this family with me. I knew she wouldn't just give that up if there wasn't something really wrong.
"Callie?"
"Ya, Jude."She tried to wipe her eyes as I sat next to her.
"What's going on? Why would you say you don't want to be adopted?"
I could she the gears in her head churning, trying to work out some kind of internal battle. It was so hard to see her like this, she had always tried to be the strong one for me but now she just looked so broken.
"Jude, what would you do if Connor had been our foster brother? Would you be able to stop yourself from falling for him?"
I sat there for second blindsided. "What does Connor have to with..." and that's when it clicked, "wait this is about Brandon? You don't want to get adopted because you have feelings for Brandon… so when you told everyone it was over between you two… you were lying?"
"I'm so sorry, I was trying so hard not to feel it… not to feel for him… but I do. I can't help it Jude." I could tell she had been trying so hard not to brake down crying but the tears were streaming down her face.
I felt so betrayed that she could choose Brandon over our dream on one hand, but guilty on the other. Why hadn't she just told me? Oh, ya that's right because when you had caught her with him, you called her selfish. When I had called her selfish, I had never really felt falling in love. Could I really expect her to stay, to be adopted with how she feels for Brandon?
Lena
Did she really just say that she didn't want to be adopted? That one simple statement had felt like glass running through me. Did she really mean it though?
I looked over at Stef, she looked like a mixture of pain and confusion, and I just wish I could help her make sense of all of this. I couldn't though of course because Callie had fought so hard and been through so much to be a part of this family. Why would she say that?
"What are we going to do? Do you think she really meant that?"
"No, love, I don't think that she meant she didn't want to be adopted… but I do think something else is going on. Did you see the way she looked up at B., before walking out? I think he knows something he's not sharing."
Brandon had seemed a bit nervous to me, but I didn't think he really knew anything. "I doubt it. He just looked as shocked as we all are. I think we need to talk to Callie though. Do you think she's done something again?" Is she still afraid that we would send her away after everything we did to keep her?
"I thought I made it clear the last time that she could tell us no matter what... I don't know maybe she still doesn't trust us." When she said that she looked so defeated, I couldn't help thinking maybe she was right. Callie had been through so much was it really hard to believe that she had a hard time trusting?
"Maybe but I think we should talk to her and get to the bottom of this. I don't want to lose her."
"I don't either, love, but we can't make her stay..."