Disclaimer: I don't own House MD, or any of the characters used below. Nor do I own The Fray or the song, How To Save A Life. Credit goes to them, though the writing was mine.
Authors note: I was listening to this song one day when I realized how perfectly well it fits the relationship between Cameron and House. I'm a fan of this pairing, in many ways, and so this was just crying to be written.
How To Save A Life
Step
one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a
talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on
through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and
you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you
begin to wonder why you came
Alison Cameron knew why she had come back. Back even after House had abused, misused, and manipulated her. Just as he was doing now. He said that she was welcome, that everyone wanted her back. That he wanted her back. And somewhere along the betrayal, they had lost the connection she always thought they had. His voice no longer softened when speaking to her, just as his blue eyes stayed icy. The Vicodin took over his life, as well as that mess with the cop. He wasn't the man she had fallen in love with anymore, and he was dying. It hurt.
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the
bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I
known how to save a life
Wilson's frantic call to the E.R. and to Cameron's team came as no surprise to her. She had always known that House would not last forever on pain pills. His suicide didn't make it any easier, however, and it felt like someone had ripped her heart out. She saw him when they rolled him in on a stretcher, and wept. Chase and Foremen watched her cry, and hid their own tears to comfort her. She was grateful, and angry at the same time. Couldn't they show some emotion?
Let
him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try
to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a
list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And
pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
All those times she had told him that he was an awful terrible man, or when she had tried to get him off his Vicodin. All those times she cried from the words he said to her, and rejoiced when they went to the Monster Truck show together or he showed her some small amount of kindness. But, she had never told him, never bothered to say that she cared. And now he was gone, and she would never get the chance to lecture him. Or tell him that she loved him.
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the
bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I
known how to save a life
She would have done anything to keep him with them. With her. Cuddy acted like she wasn't too upset, but Cameron could see through her act. And through everyone else's. Most would say they were better off without the manipulative bastard- she disagreed. House had been their manipulative bastard, and they wanted him back.
As
he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one
last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the
ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit
to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll
begin to wonder why you came
Everyone had tried to help him in the end; Tritter, in his own way, Cuddy, by trying to make him go to rehab, and even herself. She had loved him, and loved him up until the day he died, even if he had fought her right before the end. He had refused to help himself, and was doomed to die for it. The Vicodin had eaten his soul. Cameron didn't know why she had bothered.
Where
did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the
bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I
known how to save a life
But, in truth, she did. She had bothered because he was the one who had saved her- after her husband died, she had thought that there would never be another, and she was doomed. He had brought her back. When she had tried to act more assertive, he broke her heart, and built her stronger. He was her poison, the poison that had saved her life. Without him, she was lost. She was nothing. And she couldn't handle that.
How to Save a Life