Lullaby
Disclaimer: Don't own em.
He sighs in my arms, his tears beginning once again, his soft form shaking.
He can't get over his problems. He can't make them go away now. I can't help him make it go away. I wish I could, but it would hurt him even more.
I hold him close, press his body into my own. His tears drop on my hands.
He tried to kill himself again earlier. He heard the kids outside, jumping rope, singing their new song.
"Izzy, Izzy,
In a tizzy
Doesn't wanna live
So then why is he?
Six feet under soon
You know.
What a match for
Kido Jyou!"
And they wonder why he's suicidal.
"Koushiro," I whisper, and he looks up at me. He's so quiet when I'm with him.
I gently touch his face, tracing his tears. He tilts his head to one side.
He's been through so much. I don't understand how my laughing, smiling, alive Kou-chan has turned into this empty creature. He simply listens. Like he's waiting for some scientist to prove that he has worth and he can live again. Until then he'll just be silent.
Why him? Why did they choose him to hurt?
They kept him imprisoned. They made him hurt, no, they made him kill other young innocents. I wonder how many lost their lovers to him? Did he picture them in their arms, like I'm holding him now?
He looks around. He wakes at night, holding me close, unbearably close to him, as if he could climb into me and be safe from what hurts him so. I soothe him, and he goes to sleep.
I pet his hair. "Go to sleep now."
He stares.
I carefully tuck him in, then sing softly.
"You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine,
You make me happy
When skies are grey,
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My blue skies away…"
He nods at me, curling himself against my chest. I would sing the silly little song to him to get a smile out of him, when he was better. Now I sing it so he won't attempt suicide when I'm asleep.
He's asleep in moments.
I watch him for awhile. Then I say, "What a match for Kido Jyou," to myself and join him.
fin