"Hey. Do I seem like an orange to you?"
For a brief, blissfully ignorant moment, Kaito wanted to believe Kazuraba wasn't talking to him. He wanted to believe that, no matter how foolish it might be, Kazuraba wasn't so mad that he would just walk up to him and ask such a truly insane question. Surely, one of the other Gaim members were sitting close by, and this was simply a misunderstanding on Kaito's part.
"Kaito. Hey, Kaito, did you hear me?"
Damn.
"I'm trying not to." While kindness would never be something he was known for, let it never be said that Kaito Kumon was a liar.
All he had wanted to do was come to the fruit bar and eat. He had just wanted lunch. Was that really a crime that deserved the punishment of whatever this conversation would entail? Couldn't Kazuraba at least offer more interesting conversation than a child might?
"Aw, don't be that way, Kaito!" Seemingly unfazed by Kaito's comment, Kouta sat down next to Team Baron's leader and grabbed a few fruits off of the tremendous fruit display that always sat in front of the bar, for a moment looking as though he might start juggling them or something else equally as nonsensical. "Can't I just get your opinion on it? I just wanna know how orangey I am! I mean, I know you're obviously like a banana, so-"
Kaito turned his head towards Kouta with a quickness that could almost be described as alarming considering he had just said he was ignoring the other Armored Rider moments prior. His expression shone with righteous indignation. For Kouta's effort, he had the decency to pause in his inane ramblings to offer Kaito a quizzical look.
Kaito Kumon was like a banana?
Ludicrous!
"Kazuraba..." Kaito's tone made it clear he was no longer just exchanging his equivalent of pleasantries (which were rarely ever pleasant in the first place). His lunch had been disturbed and now he wanted an explanation. "I better have misheard you. I am like a what?"
Not missing a beat, Kouta set the rest of the fruits he had plucked from the display down, leaving only one in particular in his hands — a banana. With a smile on his face, he offered the fruit to Kaito as if it would answer everything.
"This."
Kaito narrowed his eyes. He snatched the banana out of Kazuraba's hand, before turning away to place it back on the display where it belonged. However, as he turned back to question his fellow Armored Rider...
"Y'know, it's not like I can't just get another one." In the swift moment Kaito had turned to put one banana back, Kouta had already gone and snatched up a second, and was now wagging it at Kaito like a teacher would a misbehaving student. "You don't believe me?"
"Of course I don't. Are you seriously saying you think I am?" Crossing his arms, Kaito resigned himself to the fact that he would have to hear out Kazuraba if he ever wanted to finish his lunch in peace. It was still better than eating at Charmant, at least.
"Sure you are! And I'll prove it!" Like some kind of television announcer, Kouta hopped off of the stool he was seated on and motioned to the banana in his hand, looking from Kaito to the banana and back with an offensively wide grin on his face.
Kaito simply nodded upwards, as if to signal that he was going to listen rather than grab a banana himself and shove it down Kazuraba's throat so he could eat in peace. Kaito was a bigger man than that, after all.
"So, just how is Team Baron's leader like a banana?" Striking a thoughtful pose, Kouta turned as if he were asking some unseen speaker. Luckily for Kaito's patience (and his own safety), he didn't stay in that position long, instead hopping over to where the invisible person would have been, taking their place himself. "I'm glad you asked! It's really quite-"
Kaito decided to forgo his patience for a moment, crossing and uncrossing his arms as he issued something of a warning.
"Get to the point, Kazuraba."
"R-Right!" Perhaps finally realizing he might have been pushing his luck, Kouta returned to his seat and pointed the banana towards Kaito. "You see this? It's straight. Always to the point, just like you."
Kaito opened his mouth to respond, but found himself instead closing it to consider Kazuraba. Truthfully, he had expected something childish like "you're tough on the outside but soft on the inside," something meant to push Kazuraba's morals. This, on the other hand, was not a comparison Kaito could completely reject.
Seeing that Kaito wasn't cutting him off, Kouta decided to take his chances and keep going, reaching over to the fruit display again for a full bunch of bananas now.
"You can be a pretty decent team leader sometimes, even if you won't admit it..." As Kaito watched Kouta's movements, the boy in blue proceeded to rip a banana out of the bunch and point hold it up proudly. "... but you're still good on your own!"
Ironically, that point actually gave the exact opposite message that Kaito had been expecting from someone as naive as Kazuraba. Recognizing that, as absurd as this was, Kazuraba had, if nothing else, put thought into this, Kaito decided to relax and see how long the other dancer could go before he said something stupid.
Seeing what he thought was approval, Kouta brightened considerably and continued.
"And you're tough too! Watch this." Kouta then proceeded to bang the remaining banana on the side of the table a few times, and wouldn't they know it, the banana appeared for the world unharmed. Though Kaito didn't think anyone would appreciate having to be the one to eat that... "Nothing gets you down. Even if you get all beat up, you're still you on the inside."
As if to prove this point, Kouta promptly peeled the banana and, in with speed almost inhuman, ate it, leaving Kaito momentarily flabbergasted. This left Kouta the perfect opening for his grand finale.
"And sometimes, you say some things that reeeeeaaally slip me up, just like a banana peel-"
There it was.
"Enough!" It wasn't clear whether Kaito had raised his voice because he was no longer even remotely entertained or because he didn't want to see Kouta demonstrate the slippery effects of banana peels, but either way, it got the other young man to stop. "Enough. If it will prevent you from giving yourself a concussion — and get you to leave — I'll answer. You say you want to know if you're like an orange?"
Having not expected Kaito to seriously answer him at this point, Kouta was clearly taken aback for a moment — but not a moment later was he grinning widely and clapping Kaito on the back as if they were best friends.
"Aww, I knew I could count on you, Kaito!"
Team Baron's leader rolled his eyes, reaching for an orange from the display so he could answer.
Ridiculous. Was he really taking this seriously?
After a few moments of consideration, to his dismay, Kaito realized that he was indeed.
Like an orange, Kazuraba wore his heart on his sleeve — he was honest, the same "color" inside and out.
Like an orange's fruit, though Kazuraba at first appeared soft, he held a surprising power within him, perhaps akin to the orange's acidic nature.
Like an orange itself, he could be tough — an orange could be tossed around like a ball and take its fair share of injury before it was no longer edible.
And like an orange's skin, he would put himself in harms way as a shield to protect his softer friends.
Finally taking a bite of his food, having added the orange (which he had peeled during his moment of thought) to it, Kaito made a noise reminiscent of approval. The kick it offered was sufficient.
"Uh, Kaito...? Am I or am I not...?" Kazuraba, unable to read minds, perhaps assumed Kaito had chosen to simply ignore him now, considering that it had been a few minutes since either had last spoken.
"As a matter of fact, you are." Kaito spoke with surprising confidence. He had no intention of acting ridiculous and explaining why he might feel that way — he was asked a yes or no question, and if his answer was given with enough confidence, that should have been more than sufficient. "Am I done now?"
Looking considerably happier than he had a moment ago, Kouta nodded cheerfully and spun around in his seat, snatching some grapes off of the display.
"Great! Thanks Kaito! Now all I need is Micchy..."
Snorting, much to Kouta's surprise, Kaito took the grapes from his hands and looked at them for only a brief moment before glancing back to Kouta.
"He's the most like this than either of us are ours. Easily."
Kouta raised an eyebrow, looking at the grapes with an odd look. Grapes weren't really easy to define like bananas or oranges (apparently) were, but...
"... If you say so..." Kouta scratched the back of his head, hesitantly rising from his seat. Shrugging after giving it a moment's thought, he offered Kaito a grin and began to make for the door. "Well, whatever! Thanks for your time — tell Bando-san that your food is on me!"
Kaito might have laughed dryly or commented on Kazuraba's naïveté in trusting someone with his tab if not for the fact that it was common knowledge he hadn't paid for anything at the bar in years. Instead, Kaito simply raised a hand in farewell and turned back to his food — and the grapes still remaining in his hand.
Kaito plucked one grape from the group and looked at it.
Small. Insignificant. They needed to surround themselves with others in order to feel like they mattered.
Kaito began disdainfully peeling away the purple skin of the small fruit with his fingernails.
Dishonest. Smooth, round, and purple on the outside, but shriveled looking and green (the color of envy) on the inside.
After a moment of consideration, Kaito crushed the tiny fruit in his hand. It took no effort at all.
Weak.