Title: Anger
Summary: After so many years of being manipulated, Sylar holds a lot of grudges. Sylar's POV.
Pairings: Mentions of slight Sylar/Elle and slight Sylar/Mohinder
Warnings: Needless and frequent use of the F-word and bad language in general. Sylar has a therapist.
Word Count: ~1500
I'm going to make a list of people who have made me angry, people who have manipulated and used me at some point in my life. Some of these people are responsible for making my life the way it is now. And I'm only doing this because my therapist says it'll be good to get it out, get it off my chest. Maybe it will (doubtful), who knows?
Either way I'm being forced against my will to keep a diary (of all things, a fucking diary!) and write these things in it so she can look over my rather twisted psyche and diagnose me with Schizophrenic-Post-Traumatic-Bipolar-Multiple-Personality Disorder™ with a touch of Paranoia. And I just know that she laughs at me behind my back and talks about my craziness with her other psychiatrist buddies, patient confidentiality my ass. But I digress. She told me to summarize who's made me angry in my life so I'm going to do it. And if she doesn't like my ranting she can kiss my telekinetic ass!
Let's start off with the mother of all that is wrong in my life: Dr. Chandra Suresh. I might go so far as to say I hated him. Of course it didn't start out that way. The man thought I was special, he believed I could do something extraordinary. He gave me hope that I could be somebody other than the lowly watchmaker Gabriel Gray. And what did the bastard do? He took it all away. He pulled the fucking carpet out from under my feet and told me I wasn't special, there's nothing extraordinary about me, all I'm ever going to be in life is simple Gabriel Gray of Gray & Sons. He forced me to become this monster, he encouraged the Hunger within me, he made me a killer. Unfortunately the satisfaction of his death was momentary and now he's just part of the string of murders in my wake. And I'd like to say that while he's probably not the one who started this shit, he definitely got the ball rolling.
Enough about him, let's move on to the next on my list. Not that I'm going in any particular order or anything, but next I want to talk about Dr. Suresh Jr. or Mo as he is affectionately called... well he would be if I harbored an affection towards him anyway. Really, its just a little S&M between us, totally no affection, none whatsoever, not even a smudge. Though he's kind of cute when you mess with him, and that confused expression that's kind of always there reminds me a little bit of a lost puppy... right, well anyway.
Really, what my problem with Mohinder is that we have trust issues. He doesn't trust me, I don't trust him, there's not a lot of trust going on (do you get what I'm saying? No trust. Nada). And believe me, I've tried. But he's so stubborn and naive! Especially for a fucking doctor (geneticist, whatever.) and he's always changing his mind. Seriously, one minute he wants to find the people on the damn list and help them, the next he's looking for a cure, then he's working for The Company, then he's giving himself (not one of his brightest moments) and others synthetic abilities, and the list goes on.
Moving on to the next person on my list because if I keep talking about him I'm going to scream and track him down and probably rape him into realizing power isn't everything--which is kind of ironic coming from me. Yeah, well anyways. Next i want to briefly (and I mean briefly) talk about Elle. For the most part I have forgiven Elle for what she did to me and the hand she played in my becoming Sylar. But she still manipulated me so I think she deserves a mention in this little blame-storming session I seem to be having. Quite obviously the only bone I have to pick with her is that of betrayal. I don't know if her feelings for me were genuine in the weeks after she saved my life, but I do know that they were some of the happiest times of my life that I can remember. And the fact that she had just been undercover for The Fucking Company at the time still stings like a bitch. But I meant it, I really do forgive her for everything. Killing someone right after sex will do that to you.
The next two people I want to talk about I can just lump together, not only because they are (were?) married, but because they both did the same thing to me. I swear they must have fucking synchronised it or something, I really believed they were my parents. Angela and Arthur Petrelli are quite a pair, no matter what anyone else says. Hm, that seems to be all I can say about them right now, they manipulated me into thinking they were my parents and I hate them for it. Still at least I got Arthur in the end; that lie-detector ability really comes in handy, don't you think?
Let's finish with the Petrelli family. Peter Petrelli. What do I have to say about Peter Petrelli? Fuck, what don't I have to say about Pete? We've fought since day one, and even with our little brotherly interlude, I don't think we'll stop fighting anytime soon. I suppose that comes from being the special ones of the Special People. We are unique and therefore fated to be polar opposites and always matched. Every power I gain, he gains. Though he could have a power that I don't have, and I suppose that's one of the reasons for my animosity towards him. I want to be fucking special, damnit. But I don't think I'll be able to kill him anytime soon, so I have resigned myself to accepting that we are mostly matched in our specialness... though I must say that after the Emo Bangs disappeared I had the best hair of all the Special People.
Yay, I'm finished with the Petrelli's! Oh wait, crap. One left. Little Claire. Does she really deserve a paragraph of my ranting? She's about as fickle as Mohinder (probably more) and every time I hear her name, fucking Kate Perry's song 'Hot N' Cold' invades my mind. I mean seriously. She hates me, she hates me not, she fears me, she defends me, she hates me again, she rejects me. I think at most what she deserves from me is a long-suffering sigh, because really that's all I feel towards her. And have you seen the string of boys left in her wake? Fickle fickle.
I think I'm actually almost done. Only three left on my list, though there are damn well more than that. Next I'm going to talk a bit about that little Japanese kid. Hibo? Herpo? Whatever. I wasn't really paying any attention to his name when he tried to kill me, more than once I might add. And he damn well almost succeeded. Has anyone ever told you how much it fucking hurts to get run through with a samurai sword? No? Well it does. It fucking hurts like a bitch! In fact it hurts almost as much as being hit with 10,000 volts of Elle's lightning. Oh, you can bet your ass the next time I see him or his friend I'm gonna open up a big can of whoop-ass.
Ah, here's a big one: Noah Bennet. The man has done too many things to mention so I will merely state my disdain for him. I tried to change when I was his partner, granted I was under the assumption that Angela was my mother at the time, but still, at least I gave some effort. He, however, did not. He still called me a killer, a monster, and he still looked at me like I was some kind of cockroach he would take great pleasure in torturing before giving it a slow, painful death. I don't care what Peter says, I will not ever name any of my children after him.
And finally, my therapist. Dear, dear Judy. You listen to my problems, sure, but I know that you will read this and I know that you'll talk about me with your other therapist friends. You go ahead and do that dear. But let me warn you: if you ever make me write in a diary again, not only will I hunt you down and freeze you alive, I'll hunt down every family member you ever cared about and cut off their heads and rip their brains out. M'kay? Enjoy your lunch with Mr. Muscley Man and do try to remember why I pay you.