A/N: So, this fic is dedicated to Ace (I think she's BrittneyTodosey, to you guys) and it's like a billion years late. Most of this was written just after the promos for "The Heat Is On", so I guess it's AU. Also, I'm way behind on the new episodes, so any spoilers are totally accidental and anything that doesn't make sense in canon is also totally accidental. The title is a flower. IDEK. *crawls back into her cave*
(Fiona is drunk and angsty in every fic I write.)
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She likes Adam, really. Just, not as much as she wants to.
Fiona sighs, opening another bottle of champagne. She knows she should probably slow down because there's no way this much alcohol will mix well with her medication. Even so, she pours yet another glass of the bubbly liquid. Fuck the consequences.
She's not sure why she drinks when she's with him, so she tells herself it's so she can kiss him without feeling like she's kissing a girl. Because she knows Adam is not a girl, but he has such soft lips and, if she closes her eyes and melts out of everything, she almost feels like she's kissing Holly J.
Which is something she most definitely does not want.
Adam is sitting on her couch, smiling at her. She takes a sip of her champagne. And, if she was sober, she would have been able to see the way his grin faltered when he noticed what she was doing. But, she's drunk, so she doesn't see anything.
She sets her glass down on the coffee table, next to a stack of various fashion magazines, and then sits on the couch, next to her boyfriend.
Boyfriend. Something about that word felt wrong to her. Not in the sense that she doesn't think of Adam as a boy, but more in the sense that it doesn't feel like she should have a boyfriend. But that doesn't make sense either, no matter how inebriated she is.
Fiona shakes her head, as if trying to clear the thought from her mind, but only succeeds in making the room around her spin.
Adam puts a hand on her shoulder, looking at her with concern. "Are you okay?" He asks.
No. "Yeah. I'm fine." She smiles weakly at him. She knows she isn't very convincing (and she curses herself for it because a girl with even an inch in the public eye should at least know how to lie), but Adam seems to believe her, nonetheless.
To further stress the point that she's not going to pass out and die, she grabs a hold of Adam's shirt with her right hand, pulling him close and pressing their mouths together.
It feels...nice. But, Adam always feels nice, even though it's not much like what's she's used to. His skin is soft, like a girl's, and he's not trying to dominate her, like her previous boyfriends and he doesn't seem to expect anything from her. She likes that.
Fiona slides her fingers into his hair, letting the fine strands slip through them. It's still a little wrong, (if he asked her, she'd say it was too long, but in actuality it's too short) but it's nothing she can't get past because she does really like him.
They never do much besides make-out and Fiona thinks that's kind of silly if she's supposedly having problems with him kissing like a girl, but they rarely ever go out. It's something she tries not to think about.
She's hit with a sudden wave of nausea that causes her to pull away quickly, using her hand to cover her mouth.
"What's wrong?" Adam asks, an obviously concerned expression on his face. "Are you going to be-?"
She nods, a bit frantic, before rushing to the bathroom, kneeling on the cold tile floor, and yet again emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
She sits back, wiping her mouth on a nearby towel, and thanking the universe that she'd pulled her hair back in a bun earlier in the day.
It's been a while since she's been so drunk that she started vomiting, but not so long ago that she doesn't remember how it feels after.
Her breathing is shallow and shaky and her hand is trembling when she reaches up to grab at the counter top, so she can steady herself as she stands. Her stomach lurches again and she contemplates just sitting back down, until she hears a knock on the door.
"Fiona? Listen, I called Holly J, she says she's only a minute away and will be here soon. I'll stay with you until then, but I need to get home before my mom gets worried."
She smiles, Adam just seems to care about her so much. She really wants to feel the same way about him.
Biting the bullet, she opens the door, hoping she doesn't look like as much of a mess as she feels like. "You didn't have to call Holly J, I'm alright. Just a little too much bubbly to mix with Chinese take-out." A practiced grin spreads across her face, as her fingers grip the door-frame to keep from falling over.
"I just wanted to be safe, y'know? Holly J just seems a lot better at this than I am."
She wonders what 'this' is supposed to be. Taking care of people? Handling her when she's drunk? Handling her all the time? If she wasn't so focused on trying to show him she doesn't need any help, she would be offended. "Thanks, but she doesn't need to go through the trouble. I'll just go call her and tell her not to come." She walks past him, out into the living room, going to grab her cell phone off of the coffee table. Only, it's not there.
"Hey, Adam, have you seen my phone?" She calls over her shoulder, eyes scanning the rest of the room.
"I have it." He replies.
She turns around, "Oh."
"I know you don't think you need Holly J here, but she just wants to help." Adam looks uncomfortable, like someone forced to scold somebody else's child.
She's more than a little pissed off right now. When did he become an expert on her well-being? "I don't need her here, I'm perfectly fine, so give me my phone."
But, it's too late now. The door to her condo opens suddenly (and she still regrets giving Holly J a key) revealing the redhead, still dressed in her work uniform. She's wearing that look on her face. The one that says 'Really? This again?' and, as usual, it makes Fiona want to curl into a ball from guilt and embarrassment.
"Hey, how is everything?" Holly J asks, the question obviously directed at Adam, who merely shrugs in response. "Hmm, understood." She smiles warmly, "Thanks for the help."
Adam nods, handing her Fiona's phone. "No problem." He waves awkwardly, "I'll see you both at school tomorrow."And then he leaves.
Fiona looks down at her shoes, to avoid her best friend's eyes. The atmosphere in the room has changed, now that it's just the two of them and Fiona feels as if all of the air is pressing down on her, keeping her just on the brink of suffocation.
"Are you okay?"
Fiona has been hearing this a lot, lately. It makes her wonder if maybe she's gotten worse with her...everything, really.
Adam asked her the same exact thing earlier and she'd brushed him off, but with Holly J she wants to say 'no'.
"I...don't know." Fiona replies, sitting down on the couch. "I guess I've just been a little stressed lately, that's all."
Holly J looks unconvinced, but doesn't say anything, instead picking up her friend's half empty champagne flute and taking it to the kitchen.
"Get me some more, please?" Fiona calls to her, smiling.
"Coming right up."
Holly J is going to bring her seltzer water. It's a trick she's used a few times now, never realizing that Fiona noticed the difference. It doesn't bother her anymore, since she know Holly J only does it to try and help her.
Holly J returns a moment later, holding a glass full of liquid that is too clear to be champagne. Fiona's almost glad her friend is so predictable, the seltzer will help calm her stomach.
"Thanks." Fiona says, taking a sip. Holly J smiles.
"No problem. You might wanna slow down on it though. Don't want you puking on me."
Fiona wrinkles her nose, disgusted. "Whatever. Throw in a movie, if you're going to stay."
And this is how it always goes. Fiona drinks until she falls over and Holly J comes to help her get back up.
It's almost scary, when Fiona stops to think about it, how much she relies on Holly J, loathe as she is to admit it. And she likes knowing that Holly J is always there.
Or maybe she just likes Holly J.
The thought kind of makes her nauseous again, just because she likes the way things are between them. She doesn't want to screw it up.
And she likes Adam. He's nice and funny and bright and her parents would probably approve of him. An actual girl, she's not so sure about. A girl that used to date her brother, out of the question.
She doesn't even like girls, anyways. Or so she tells herself.