I AM WHAT I AM
A STORM HAWKS FANFICTION
AUTHOR: Djap
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the boys nor the lyrics, I just borrowed them for a while and I promise not to make any money with them. I just wanted to have some fun and I'll put them back on their shelves unharmed. Promise.
PAIRING: Dark Ace x Aerrow
RATING: PG 13
GENRE: Songfic, Romance
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I for my part don't even like songfics, but when I was doing some really boring work I heard that song and kept thinking about Dark Ace… I just couldn't stop it anymore, so please forgive me… :)
SO TAKE A GLAS WINE, LIE BACK AND ENJOY
YOURS DJAP
*~*~*
I am, what I am
a Djap story
*~*~*
Aerrow was sitting in his room, musing what a strange left turn his life had taken in the last few weeks so far. He sat with his back propped up against the wall, stark naked and only with the thin sheets pulled over his groin to give himself at least the impression of protection and safety.
He was humming a tune, which came to his mind very often lately. After this… this thing… he really didn't know how else to call it… after this whole confusing thing had started with the man currently occupying his bathroom, it had come right to him, while he had been wondering over all this.
He knew the tune was made for that man. Although Aerrow didn't think that his new, dark and forbidding bed partner knew the song. It was after all a song from his home Terra and even though Dark Ace had been a Sky Knight himself, the former Storm Hawks had almost been famous for their lack of a special home Terra.
I am
what I am
I am my
own special creation
So come take a look
Give me the hook or the ovation
It is
my world
That I want to
have a little pride in
My world
And it is not
a place I have to hide in
Life is not worth a damn
Till you can say
I am what I am
The dark Talon Commander sure doesn't give a shit about what everyone else seems to think about him. And although that's probably not a healthy way to think, Aerrow envies him for that.
Dark Ace had always made his own decisions and went through with them no matter what everyone else thinks about proper ethics. Of course Aerrow's conscience tells him, that he shouldn't envy a man who has fallen for his own darkest desires, for his own faults and dilemmas. Aerrow knows it's wrong to kill people, to hate and to be power mad, but that doesn't mean Aerrow would be unaware of his own dark side. He's really not that naïve, so he does know about the fragile border he's crossing by letting this happen.
Still, all in all, Dark Ace is at least in some ways honest – especially to himself.
Of course he's a liar and he tricks people into doing what he wants, but he's even openly and honestly telling people that he lies all the time and he's proud about it on top of it after all.
He never lets himself be forced to do anything he doesn't want to do against his will – at least by nobody except the master he chose to service. But even with her, everyone can see that he services her only because he made that choice and accepts now every result his decision will bring him.
The man surly behaves as if Cyclonia would already rule over whole Atmos. He's narcissistic, suffers egomania, and can be a pest about many things. But he's also straightforward, he fights for what he wants, he's courageous and let's not forget: he's sexy as hell.
I am
what I am
I
don't want praise I don't want pity
I
bang my
own drum
Some think it's noise I think it's pretty
And so what if
I love
each sparkle
and each
bangle
Why not try to see things
from a different angle
Your life is a sham
Till you can shout out
I am what I am
Starting this relationship had just been another way of Dark Ace to get him what he wanted. Right from the start, the first time they'd seen each other the attraction had been there. It was plain their eyes for everyone who dared to look.
It had taken Dark Ace some time to pull Aerrow out of his closet. He'd tried many different tactics, before Aerrow one day had finally given in. But in the end, when he reached his goal, Aerrow had expected the Talon Commander to act differently.
Surely he wouldn't have expected the man to continue this… thing… between them after being allowed to taint the virgin boy for the first time. But he seemed to like this physical relationship between them.
And, he didn't lie to him about things either. He was always open and honest about his desires in bed, expecting from the boy to do the same. Aerrow's face was priceless when the man asked him the first time to fuck him. Aerrow had never even in his wildest dreams expected to hear these words from the man. But like always the Dark Ace had just commented shrugging: "It feels good and I like it. So will you do me or what?"
Of course Aerrow had wanted, not knowing, that this would only make him fall deeper for the man. Dark Ace always treated him as something very precious and being touched so gently by these usually so hard and unforgiving hands was something else he would never have expected.
Still, the man didn't stop being evil – he loved to tease Aerrow about his lack of experience or his inability to keep quiet while having sex with him.
He also loves to make Aerrow beg for release. Dark Ace is a very skilled lover and always takes his time when indulging in sexual activities. He never rushes – and of course that's most of the time the last thing a teenage boy wants in bed – but Aerrow usually doesn't have much choice in that matter.
Since Dark Ace almost instantly seemed to learn about his every weak spot (there was the possibility that the Talon Commander even made them to his weak spots, but Aerrow tried not to wonder about that too often) it's pretty easy for him to make him beg.
Aerrow had tried to be quiet while sex, but he failed more often then not. At least he had managed to refrain from shouting the man's name while climaxing so hard he usually sees stars afterwards. Still Dark Ace seems to like his lack of control in that matter and even encourages it as often as he can.
So his team learned pretty fast that he was seeing someone – and obviously in a very intimate way. They had even knocked one night and asked ready to rescue him, if he would need any help. Aerrow had never felt as embarrassed before, which had shown prominently by his fierce blush, and he still grids his teeth when thinking back about it, since of course his… lover… had teased him without mercy for it.
Obviously he couldn't tell the Storm Hawks who he was seeing and while Piper had sulked about that for nearly two weeks, even Radarr had seemed pissed at him. Stork seemed also pretty angry with him – and that made Aerrow aware of things about the Merb he gladly would have preferred not to think about at all. At least they seemed to believe he was dating Starling, which was creepy in its own way, but hey – he was thankful that they didn't know about the truth.
I am
what I am
And what I am needs
no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces
sometimes the deuces
It is one life and there's no return and
no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's
not worth a damn
till you can shout out
I am what I am
The boy was so lost in his musings and the little song he's humming and singing to himself that he didn't saw his lover return from his shower. Dark Ace was wearing only a fluffy, dark green towel around his slim hips and was still rubbing his hair dry with another.
He listened to the song and suddenly started grinning. He really liked that piece, because he'd always thought it could be something like his theme. He found it quite amusing, that his boy – because it was his boy: he wasn't letting him go now, since he finally had conquered him for himself after all this time and the work he had put into it – would sing his theme.
He wondered if he should take the boy out for some dancing. He was a good fighter after all, which promised he would be also a good dancer and it would probably do both of them some good to meet someplace else. But they could do that another time. Because now, although he had wanted to leave some minutes ago, his libido seemed to have some objections against it.
It was definitely worth to see the look on his boy's face, when he started to sing along at the best part (the lyrics tell about aces after all) to get his attention, before they finished the song together singing along with each other.
I am
what I am
And what I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
sometimes the aces
sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no
return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not
worth a damn till
you can shout out
I
am what I am
Out there, in the war between their nations, Aerrow usually wins their encounters. He knows, that's part of the attraction the man feels for him. So he tries to be the voice of reason here as well – but usually fails miserably at it.
He knows, it's wrong. He knows, it' unhealthy. He knows, it's dangerous. And he knows, that this could cost him everything that's important to him and probably even his life someday.
But still, in here, the other man always wins.
Dark Ace comes over with still glistening wet skin from his shower just minutes before, and lifts a questioning eyebrow, after finally having finished the song.
Aerrow can't believe it: "You want to… again?"
That makes the Talon Commander smirk and he begins stalking him like a predator would his prey: "Why not?"
Aerrow sputters: "Because we've just finished? Because you should leave now, so nobody will see you? Because your master expects you back in about two hours sharp?"
But Dark Ace just shrugs that casually off like always, leans in and presses his lips to Aerrow's, which instantly tears a moan out of the Sky Knight, which really was just a Pawlovian reaction.
Suddenly all his doubts fly out of the window and he wishes his objections to hell, because hey, that man can kiss. And it's obvious that he loves kissing – it had been so right from the start.
So Arrow gives in to the second round. And probably to as many as the man wishes for as well. Who knows how long they'll be able to meet after all? They could both be dead tomorrow.
The tiny voice in his head starts singing again and suddenly Arrow understands, that Dark Ace isn't the only one for whom this song was made.
It probably was made for Bad Storm Boys as well.
*~*~*
Endless End
Finished 21st September 2009