Wake up in the middle of the night to pee: Avoid all mirrrors
Tweek jittered in his bed. The one disadvantage about drinking too much coffee before bed was the fact that his bladder couldn't hold it all.
Now that doesn't sound like a horrible disadvantage, but to Tweek this was a nightmare. When you have to go pee, you have to go to the bathroom. The bathroom was down the hall from Tweek's room and it was pitch black. That means the monsters are out and a serial killer could be lurking the mysterious hallway.
Oh sweet Jesus, can't hold it! Tweek jumped out of his bed and snatched the baseball bat. You have to be protected from burglars at all times!
He creaked his door open cautiously and his eyes flickered to the left and the right. So far the cost was clear, then he whipped the door open and hauled ass down the hall. While waving his baseball bat in different directions.
He slammed the door shut and locked it quickly. Now he was safe and secure in the bathroom, he scanned it quickly. No sign of gnomes, so far so good. Then without a second thought he turned around and screamed.
"MURDERER!" he shrieked in fear and cowered to the ground.
After doing the same midnight ritual of running to the bathroom and looking in the mirror, you'd think he wouldn't be afraid of his reflection.
Airplane engine makes a sudden noise: I lived a good life.
"Oh lord. Oh Jesus. God let me live." Tweek muttered desperately to himself. It was just his luck that his school decided to go on a stupid field trip to New York. Not that he has anything against New York, he loved all the Starbucks on every corner BUT he hated traveling.
Traveling in a plane to be specific.
He was seated with Clyde and Craig. Of course the monotone boy noticed his friend's mental breakdown so he turned his attention to the nervous boy. Tweek jumped, "I can't handle this sort of pressure!"
"Chill, dude, it's fine. These guys are trained professionals, plus it's not like they're gonna crash into anything." he spat out redundantly.
Tweek jittered again and just stared at his friend. How could he be so calm! Maybe he's right. They are trained in flying. They do this tons of times a day. I will be just fine. Just breath…
BANG, BUMP, CLANK!
Tweek ripped at his hair. The plane is going down! No use in denying it, the machine clanked and everything!
"Holy shit, that doesn't sound good." Clyde chuckled as he looked out the window goofily, WHAT? Oh no, even someone as stupid as Clyde can tell that didn't sound good! It doesn't sound normal because the terrorists have planted bombs in our engines! That means we're going to blow up and die! WE'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE, MAN! I can't handle this! Sweet Jesus!
"I want off! I need off! AHHH!"
"Sorry, sir, but the plane is already boarded and ready to take off. Please buckle and stay seated." the flight attendant grinned with a fake, overdone smile.
"Nngh- I-I lived a good life…"
Hear thumps while in shower: Whole family is being killed and you're next.
Tweek rubbed his shampoo into his ratted hair. He hummed a song happily and felt at peace for once in his life. He hardly freaked out when he was in the shower it was just so calm and relaxing, the water just soothed him and- Thump. Thump. Thump.
His eyelids snapped open and twitches increased with extreme speed. He gulped, this is just like the movie I saw! The girl was taking a shower and before she could even dry herself off the guy killed her! SWEET FUCKING JESUS! Oh no!
He jumped out of the shower and snatched his towel. Maybe towelie is a serial killer and since I'm wet he's going to show up and slice me!
"Gah! Mom! Dad!" he put his hand over his mouth. It was too late for them, they were already goners. His parents were probably sliced and mutilated already and now the killer is coming for him.
He twitched and jerked too fast. He slipped and fell to the ground. "GAH!"
"Tweek, sweety, are you okay? Finish up." giggled his happy mother through the door.
Turns off all lights before going to bed: Oh my god, run for the bed before the demons get you!
Tweek stared at the dreadful light switch. This is a drastic, life or death situation.
The minute he turns the lights off, the minute the room goes pitch black, the minute he takes the risk, that's the minute that everything bad can happen. His death could depend on this decision.
Fact: a majority of serial killers attack at nightfall. They will be hidden and you just won't see it coming!
Fact number two: We all know the underpants gnomes come after nightfall.
But that's not what he fears the most. Once he flips the switch then all the monsters will come out. It's a well-known fact that demons lurk under the beds and in the closets, even six year olds know that!
He held his breath for a second and flipped the switch off only to instantly turn it back on, due to his extreme fears. He blinked repeatedly and let out a groan, "The pressure…"
He gulped and smashed the light switch, this time he didn't turn it on again. Instead he screamed bloody murder and dove into his mattress. Wrestling with the blankets.
After a few moments he came to the conclusion that he was safe, because another known fact is that demons can't hurt you when you're in your bed. The bed is a safe zone.
Elevator door doesn't immediately open: Trapped forever.
Tweek hated shopping with Bebe, but she always dragged him with her. She liked to call it 'Tweek and Bebe's magnificent shopping spree day' and it happened once a month. As much as he loved Bebe and hanging out with her, he was still a dude and well…dude's don't like shopping…
"Bebe -nngh- can I go to the food court?" he asked hoping to not piss her off while she decided on the dress she liked more.
She didn't bother sparing him a glance, but let out a 'Hmpf' which in his mind meant 'Yes' and well he didn't want to interrupt her anymore.
He went to the elevator and pressed the down button. He didn't like elevators, but he hated escalators more. Escalators were death traps, all you do is step on with one untied shoelace and your foot gets chopped off. Imagine telling people that, 'Oh where's my right leg, you ask? Well it got chopped off on the escalator.' that's just pitiful…
The elevator doors opened and Tweek stepped onto it carefully. Just as the doors were about to close someone stopped them, "Hey, spaz." said a familiar voice.
Tweek groaned at the sight of Cartman but gave him a slight wave. Then they were silent as the elevator lowered.
Tweek twitched, "The door isn't opening!" before Cartman could respond Tweek freaked out, "GAH! You're obesity screwed up the elevator! It can't -nngh- function with your w-weight! Thanks to you the doors won't open and we'll be trapped forever!" he ripped at his hair and screamed.
Then the doors opened.
Tweek's eyes lit with joy and he shoved everyone out of his way as he exited the death trap. Now if you didn't know Tweek you would probably find it awkward that he was kissing the ground with pure happiness.
Sweet freedom…thank God!
Realize it's too quiet, where's everyone? Oh god... zombies.
Tweek walked down the empty hallway: he froze.
It was too quiet and whenever Tweek is buried in silence, that's when his extreme paranoia truly kicks in.
I haven't seen anyone all day! Sweet Jesus, what if there's a reason it's been so quiet? I mean maybe I didn't just miss the bus, maybe it never came because they got in a crash! No…that wouldn't explain the empty streets this morning when I was walking to school. Nobodies in the school yard or in the halls. Maybe it was a field trip today?
NO!
This can mean only one thing: zombie invasion.
"OH NO ZOMBIE INVASION! JESUS CHRIST!" Tweek threw his backpack and books and sprinted out of the school. He ran down the sidewalk hoping to find a shelter, so he could survive.
"What's he doing?" asked Clyde as he watched his maniac of a friend run in circles, screaming for his life.
Craig cocked a brow and wondered the same, "Well isn't that Tweek for ya."
"I question his sanity." added Token.
"Hey, Tweek!" shouted Craig.
"Back -nngh- off, mutilated zombies!" he waved his thermos around in fear. "You weren't at school because y-you were -nngh- being turned into flesh eating mutants, man!"
"What?" Token chuckled at Tweek's reasoning.
"Don't eat me, man!"
Clyde rubbed his head in confusion, "Dude, we didn't have school today…"
"Gah! Wait…what?"
Craig smirked, "You seriously need to lay off the caffeine."