I blame tumblr for this. Sort of spoilers (but not really) if you're not caught up with the manga to ch 734. I wanted to write something humorous, because I needed a (very brief) break from the other fanfics I'm doing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing from One Piece.

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Law felt as if he would never be free of this terrible predicament.

The Heart Pirate's legs ached horrendously and he desperately needed to change positions soon. But it was not to be, with the way he was locked in place. His whole body hurt, especially where the backs of his knees dug in against a hard surface. That he didn't even have the energy to shift himself made the deep, set in pain ache further.

Law's eyes were closed as he shifted minutely. Even then, he was given no relief. He was just as sore as before, and it was only because of his tormentor that he was even in this position. And it wasn't Doflamingo, even if the man had put him into this mess in the first place. Law cursed his other tormentor inwardly, because he knew that even if he spoke his displeasure aloud, it would only go unheard. The silent presence that held him bound so much that it seemed as if they were never going to part.

It was a terrible, torturous thing for Doflamingo to do to him, but Law wasn't at all surprised.

The Heart Pirate was drawn from his own thoughts unwillingly at the sound of a sly chuckle from the man in question, and knew that the older man was nearby. No doubt the sick son of a bitch was gloating at his discomfort. As if Doflamingo found it pleasing to see Law trapped in such a way.

One that he had no hope of escape from, unless the other man were willing to free him from it.

Law seriously doubted he's be going anywhere anytime soon, because if it amused Doflamingo to keep him where he was, the Heart Pirate knew that there he would stay, until the other man grew bored of the novelty. Law ignored Doflamingo as best he could, instead focusing on the other area of his body that was beginning to feel stiff as well. His back and ass both ached but the thing that caused this pain didn't seem to care about his discomfort in the least bit.

"Is something the matter, Law?" Doflamingo leered unpleasantly at his unwilling captive, "You don't look very comfortable, but I think you look good there."

Law threw a glare the grinning man's way, "You didn't think that you could pad the chair more? Perhaps so that one could sit on it with the idea that it isn't a torture device instead? " The dark haired pirate could have sworn that if he could have seen the other pirate's eyes there would have been a confused blink.

"That's what's got you so irritable?" Doflamingo gave Law a baffled look, "Shouldn't you be cursing me and saying that you won't talk?"

"You're going to try and get me to talk whether I want to or not." Law smirked very faintly, "And you're a terrible host, but the way, with very poor taste." Law jangled the chains at Doflamingo from around the back of the chair, where his wrists were cuffed and rested on the arms of the chair.

"Well, I'll have to do something about that then, won't I?" A wide grin stretched Doflamingo's face. So, Law was going to be difficult after all. Pity, that.

Law blanched, noticing the way the other man moved one of his hands, "You wouldn't."

"Oh but I would, Law." Doflamingo responded, though he wasn't smiling anymore. He seemed more disappointed than anything.

Law felt a swift strike that sent him into unconsciousness. The Heart pirate supposed that was, unfortunately, preferable than Doflamingo trying to get him to answer questions, but just barely. Law just knew that he was going to have a terrible headache when he woke.

Doflamingo hit hard, even if he had been holding back.

-x

The Heart Pirate woke with a jerk and gasp, and found that he was all alone in the dark. Law looked around the darkness warily. But...he had been certain that he had been in a room with Doflamingo and seated on that accursed chair that had haunted his dreams for years. Law looked around anxiously. If he wasn't where he thought he had been, then...where was he?

'Law.'

"Who's there?" Law gave his darkened surroundings another wary once over, but couldn't see because there was no light source in the immediate vicinity. The distant, soft voice...Law clenched his hands into fists as realization struck. The voice...it almost sounded as if it had come from directly behind him. The Heat Pirate heard an ominous creaking sound, and then, quite suddenly, something wrapped around his waist. Law held perfectly still as he focused on what had just grabbed him. The dark haired pirate's pulse started to quicken, mostly out of horror of the unknown. What was around his waist was hard, and had an almost wooden feeling to it when Law maneuvered his hands down to feel it. Law furrowed his brow in confusion.

What the hell?

The wooden appendages held him closer, 'Stay here with me Law. Don't ever leave me again.'

The dark haired pirate's heart began to race. Who was it? Who was it that talking to him, "Who are you? What are you?"

The creaking sound grew, and Law felt his legs sink against the chair he was seated on, until he could no longer move his limbs away. Panic rushed throughout his body, his heart quickening as the foreign presence held him closer.

The whispery voice spoke again, 'The chair. The chair you left abandoned.' The weight around Law's waist grew tighter, and the voice became wistful, 'I've been so lonely without you. No one else will satisfy me.'

Law felt himself sinking into the chair, and immediately panicked. The chair wasn't inanimate, as it should have been. It was talking to him. Law twitched as the weight grew tighter around his body, as if the chair was loathe to let go of him. It was holding him in an unrelenting grip to the Heart Seat as if it were trying to mold him there permanently, never able to leave. Never able to part with it. Law began to thrash desperately, "No! Stop it! I'm never taking the Heart Seat. I'm never going to work for Doflamingo again! I'm nothing like him!"

The whispery voice grew hard, as if offended by the Heart Pirate's words, 'Don't lie to yourself. You know that this is what you really want. You can fight all you want, but this is where you belong. Where you've always belonged.'

"Nooo!" Law cried helplessly as he felt the chair settle around him as it fused with him.

There was no escape.

No escape from this hell...

"Law!"

The dark haired pirate could feel the chair sinking further and further into his bones, until Law had no idea where the chair ended and he began.

"Law?"

It was agony, never ending agony and an enormous amount of embarrassment and damage to his pride. Somewhere in the dark, Law could hear Doflamingo laughing at him.

There was a mocking yet satisfied tone to the older man's voice, "Now you'll be mine, forever."

Another voice called out to Law from elsewhere. Somewhere far away, but it was demanding. Insistent. An edge of panic and concern, mixed together.

"Captain! Captain! Wake up!"

Law squeezed his eyes shut, closing his ears to Doflamingo's crazed laughter and shutting his senses to the chair's uncomfortable embrace. When Law opened his eyes, he was awake.

And found himself thouroughly confused.

-x

Shachi and Penguin were relieved to see that their captain had woken up, even if he was in a bit of a panic, as the dark haired pirate looked around wildly.

Law relaxed after searching for something and not finding it. Besides, if he had imagined things, that was better. There was no point in worrying his crewmates with something his mind had come up with. However horrifying and disturbing it had been.

"Are you all right, captain?" Penguin queried.

Law ran a hand slowly through his hair as he calmed down some more, before he nodded, "Yes, I'm all right. It was just...a dream."

"Not surprising, since you were in Dressrosa with Doflamingo." Penguin stared at Law for a moment, as if he weren't entirely convinced, "Are you really all right?"

Law nodded again, as he didn't want to think otherwise. The state of his mental health could be brought up at a later time, and perhaps after the unpleasant dream had faded entirely from his mind, "Yes, I am fine."

"We're ready to get under way." Shachi commented, after exchanging glances with Penguin.

Law sat up on the bed in his cabin, stretching slightly as he responded, "I'll be there shortly." Law watched his crewmates leave the room, and the Heart Pirate captain was left to wake up the rest of the way. And try to push those unpleasant thoughts from his mind. Law stiffened when he thought he heard screams, but with a slight shake of his head, decided that he was just imagining things. The dark haired pirate took a steadying breath. Besides, there was no such thing as a talking chair...

'Law...why are you leaving me again...Law?'

Law scrambled out of bed and seized his weapon at the sound of the same soft voice from his nightmare. The dark haired pirate drew his weapon as his cabin door creaked open. Law's eyes widened in horror at what was framed in the doorway. The heart seat. Cracked and broken but there all the same. There to torment him again. Law tensed as the chair seemingly spoke to him, in an accusing tone.

'Where will you go? How far are you willing to go to run away from me?'

Law slashed the chair to pieces, before anything more could be said, as his voice cracked, desperate, "Leave me alone!" The Heart Pirate breathed in and out with effort, until he sucked in a few gasps of air, and then sighed in relief. The chair was in pieces, and there was no more of that quiet, insidious voice. Law froze in place as a very familiar voice whispered next to one of his ears.

"That's not a very nice thing to do, Law."

It was Doflamingo. But how had he gotten onto his ship? "But...Straw Hat defeated you." Law could all but hear the smile in Doflamingo's voice as the other man held him in place with his devil fruit power, his breath tickling Law's ear as he laughed softly.

"Fufufufu. You're imagining things."

-x

Law gasped and again found that he had woken up. But this time, he knew he was awake, as he was still chained and seated on the Heart Seat. And his body ached from his wounds. Law was relieved that the chair made no sound, and was nothing more than just that. A chair. A symbol of something he'd rather not think about, as it didn't bring forth any pleasant memories.

Doflamingo chuckled to himself from where he was hidden in the nearby shadows. He wasn't quite through with disciplining Law, and he had found such an amusing way to go about it to begin with. Clearing his throat, Doflamingo hissed a whisper, 'Why do you want to keep leaving me?' Doflamingo had to fight hard to bite back some laughter at Law's strangled response, 'Don't play hard to get. Let's be friends.' This time Doflamingo really did laugh at Law's reaction of trying to desperately throw himself out of the chair, and failing miserably.

The older pirate clucked his tongue in disproval as he circled around the room to loom over Law, who fixed him with a faintly panicked expression, "What's wrong, Law? Did I knock something loose in that head of yours after throwing you around the city?" Doflamingo laughed as the panicked look became a heated glare.

"I have nothing to say to you, Joker-ya." Law deadpanned as he closed his eyes and rested his head back against the chair. He didn't know why Doflamingo was so insistent on tormenting him instead of getting rid of him like he had thought the older man had wanted to earlier.

"Fufufu. We'll see about that." Doflamingo frowned at the noncommittal sound Law made at that, before the older man grinned. Doflamingo lifted a hand and let a few strings rest around Law's limbs, who went still at the sensation, "I have half a mind to do it, you know." The string settled further, cutting lightly into skin at the implied threat.

Law opened his eyes and offered a thin smile, pointedly ignoring the string, "So you say, but you done nothing but harass me since I've woken." The Heart Pirate winced as the string cut into his skin further and grimaced, "And you still have done nothing to make this chair in any way comfortable."

Doflamingo's grin returned, and it widened as he freed Law from the string's hold with a flick of his wrist, "You sure have guts." Doflamingo studied Law silently, before he turned away, "We'll see how you do sitting there until you feel agreeable to answering my questions."

"Not going to happen." Law commented. At this rate, his tailbone was going to join the ache he felt in the rest of his body.

Doflamingo merely chuckled in response, before heading out of Law's immediate sight. Smiling pleasantly, Doflamingo watched the Heart Pirate as he tried and failed to get comfortable. Doflamingo cleared his throat, ready to tease Law further with the thought that the chair was speaking to him. The older pirate had some time, and Doflamingo was going to have a lot of fun with Law's weird aversion to the Heart Seat for as long as he could.

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I couldn't resist writing this stupid thing. I like the idea of Doflamingo playing mind games with Law. There was probably some ooc here and there, but it's supposed to be ridiculous, as it was done for the heck of it.