I lay awake, too worried to sleep. I kept going over the same thing in my head, telling myself it was OK. "You're gonna train tomorrow. With Johanna. And then.." But I could never seem to finish my train of thought as soon as I thought of Johanna. She seemed to be all I could think about since that one day in the supply closet. It was blurry, the memory. Because it all happened so fast.
I was done with training, and in a meeting with Plutarch and Coin. Johanna was there too, and Gale, and Finnick, and everyone else. Peeta was on the air.. He tried to convince me to stop. Well, not necessarily me, because he didn't know if I was watching. But he spoke as if I was. He told me the rebellion wouldn't work, he told me to lay off.
After that, they drug him off and I walked out of the room. Trying my hardest not to let my feelings show. I wouldn't cry in front of them. And then, I was in the hall. And I ran as fast as I could. I didn't know where I was going, or what I was doing. But I ended up in a supply closet. I let it all out there. I sobbed, and sobbed. Because the Capitol had Peeta. And Peeta didn't want the rebellion to happen. He tried to convince me to stop. But it was too late. I was already the Mockingjay, the rebellion was already in motion.
And after probably a good 5 minutes of weeping in a closet, Johanna came in. She crouched down next to me, taking my hand and pulling me into a hug a moment later. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I didn't refuse. We stayed there like that for a while, me weeping and her with her arms wrapped around me. No one else came, and I didn't want anyone else.
Johanna's arms were warm. And just thinking about it now brings a funny, warm feeling to me. And she smelled good too, like pine. And after a while, my tears slowed to a complete stop. Then she let go and the coldness came back. And now, as I'm laying in my bed, with her in the bed across from me, I'm cold too.
And then something completely unexpected happened. First, she wiped off the last tear droplet streaming down my cheek. And then, she kissed me. Not hard or rough, like Gale's kissed me before. But not soft and gentle, like Peeta kissed me. But the way she kissed was something entirely new. Some kind of kiss only she could give.
Her lips were chapped, yet very soft. And they were warm too. And she had some kind of chapstick on, because I felt it during the kiss. And the way she skillfully worked her lips.. Still puts me in a frenzy. But the kiss didn't last long, and half of the time I was too surprised to kiss back. But, eventually, I did.
And then she pulled away. My fingers ran over my lips, still tingling from Johanna's. A small smile crept on her lips. "Katniss?" She asked.
It took me a minute before I replied, still rubbing my fingers over my lips. She repeated my name, and then I looked up at her. "Oh.. Yes?" She raised an eyebrow in response, which told me her question. She wanted to know what I thought of the kiss. "Oh.. It was.. I.." I couldn't quite manage the rest of my sentence. And she must of thought I didn't like it, and was shocked. So she nodded once, helped me up, and took me back to the meeting room.
And now I lay in bed, her just across from me. My mind raced, most thoughts filled with her. How badly I wanted to go back in that moment.. Tell her I liked it, and kiss her again. But I couldn't, it was too late.
I rolled over, and looked at her. Peaceful as can be, sleeping like an angel. I closed my eyes and imagined her arms around me. But it was nothing like the real warmth that they provided. And after about an hour, I couldn't stand it anymore. I rolled out of my bed and crept over to hers. She was on the far side of her bed, and I got in beside her. Slipping the blanket over me, I gently put her arm around me and the warmth rushed through me.
Contently, I closed my eyes. And soon enough, I drifted off to sleep. Warm and comforted in Johanna's arms.