Hogwarts in Black
"Agent Kay!" Whispered Jay.
"What?" He hissed.
"There's the castle that's harboring the strange, illegal creatures." He pointed to the dilapidated building known as Hogwarts to any wizarding folk. "Doesn't look safe…."
"It's just a disguise." Kay snapped. "If you were an alien escaping to Earth illegally, would you want people tromping around your castle?"
"Too true." Jay bobbed his head.
A week ago the agency had heard talk of "dragons" and "scary black horses" that had been dwelling around a certain off-limits castle in Scotland. Of course, the "dragons" were no more than aliens from the planet Bloombolda that had been long banned from Earth and the "scary black horses" were probably just aliens from Polyopo who could make themselves invisible at times, but had faulty abilities.
It was the middle of November and the air was frigid. Yet, both men donned only black suits. They ran quickly up to the castle.
"At the count of three." Kay muttered.
"Three." Jay shouted and blasted the doors with the noisy cricket that he so loved.
Kay rolled his eyes as his partner was blasted backwards. The door collapsed in a mass of burned wood.
"Aieee!" A squeal came from the castle, many voices at once.
"What was that?"
"Dunno!" Said a boy.
"Those sound like kids to me." Jay muttered, stepping in over the doors.
"Clever disguise." Kay scoffed. Jay and Kay went further into the building and came into a room full of… kids wearing uniforms. "All right, we're not fooled, we're here from the agency and you're all under arrest."
"What is the meaning of this?!" A rather severe-looking woman with an Irish accent hustled up to the two agents.
"Illegal entry onto Earth, ma'am. It's bad." Jay said, holding his hands on his hips.
"I don't know what you two are rambling about, or how you managed to find Hogwarts… but…."
"They're muggles!" Someone cried out.
"That's quite enough Mr. Boot." She scolded. "Professor Dumbledore, do you know these men?" A man with a long, silver beard came over to them.
"Minerva, I'm afraid not." He surveyed them with twinkling blue eyes. "Where do you say you're from?"
"I'm Agent Jay and this is Kay and we're the Men in Black. An agency that regulates the illegal entry of aliens."
"Jay, shut up." Kay muttered. "I'm not so sure they're aliens. I think we've made a mistake."
"What?!" Jay squealed. "You mean… oh no, do we have to flashy-thing them now?"
They looked around the hall and noticed that over half the students were holding long sticks.
"First of all, we're with the police. What are you doing in a supposedly run-down castle?"
"It's a school!" Cried a girl with blonde pigtails.
"Please, Miss Abbott!" Minerva was exasperated. "Hold you're tongue!"
"Frogotongola!" Someone whispered audibly, pointing their stick at the Abbott girl. Her tongue suddenly shot out and latched onto a candle.
"Finite Incantantum!" A greasy-haired man hissed. "Macmillan, that's twenty points you've lost from Hufflepuff."
"You ARE aliens! Aha!" Jay jabbed a finger in Dumbledore's chest.
"No, Mr. Jay, we are not aliens. We're wizards."
"That's what you want us…."
Kay put a hand on Jay's shoulder. "I think they're serious, kid."
"Don't call me kid." Jay growled. "You do?"
"Yes."
"So we do have to flashy-thing them."
"Yes."
"Memory charm?" Minerva muttered out of the corner of her mouth.
Both men put on their sunglasses. "Sorry to disturb you, but you won't remember." Kay said, officially.
"Nor will you." The greasy-haired man smirked.
Both agents raised their eyebrows.
Before anyone knew what was happening there was a chorus of voices shouting "OBLIVIATE!"
And a great flash of red.
And that was the end of both the wizarding world and the men in black.
"My, what are we doing in a castle? Who am I?"
I'll let you decide who you think said that.