"Sir, are you all right?"
Roy Mustang turned his attention to Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye as soon as she finished her question. He nodded slightly. "Fine as ever."
"All right..." She turned and left the office, a file of papers clutched in her hand. She knew he wasn't fine. He'd never be fine again.
Ever.
He turned in his chair once again to look out the windows behind him. The sky was very blue today, with few clouds. The sky had been the same that day.
Ed...
That last day he'd seen him, everything had been so hectic. Everything had been so busy, so out of order, that they'd barely even been able to smile at each other. Let alone kiss.
Roy leaned back in his chair, turning his gaze from the sky outside to the ceiling above him. Seeing the sky like this made him remember too much, made him think too much of how things had been. How things would never be again.
Ever.
The nights they'd spent together alone. The feel of that much smaller body against his. The taste of his lips, his neck, his chest, his...
Roy's eyes closed as he let the visions, the sensations, all of it, take over him. It was the only thing keeping him sane, the memories. They kept him able to make it through long, Ed-less days of paperwork. All the days were Ed-less now. Mustang found himself convinced that Ed was just on some assignment or other. Except he wasn't coming back.
Ever.
That blond hair, those golden eyes, that bright grin whenever he made a sarcastic comment... He'd never get to see it again. That laughter, those words pushing themselves over a lump in that throat, those moans... He'd never get to hear them again. All of it was gone, never to be found again.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever...
The word was too much for him, always echoing in his mind. He couldn't take it much longer, he knew. Would he have to go back to that shack in the north? Possibly. It would be better than being here, working on paperwork for hours upon end in a room where he and Ed had...
There were just too many memories here, too many moments in time linked to this place. Moments he would never be able to get back.
Ever.